First of all, I need to ask for no judgement here, please. I know my behavior has not been the best and I probably deserve what I'm getting. But I truly need help.
I am married, but VERY unhappily. I'm staying in my marriage because I'm raising his son and I'm the only mother the child has ever had.
Two years ago, I developed a crush on a coworker. We ended up becoming good friends because we had a ton in common, including our personalities. He has a long-term girlfriend of 9 years and kids with her. When I left that job, I wrote him a note saying that I wished him the best and asked if he'd like to keep in touch. He texted me after he read it and said he would and that we should get together for lunch.
That turned into several lunches. We had tons of fun and laughs during each one and he would jokingly flirt with me. I thought that was just him. I didn't know if he was interested in me.
Last month, I texted him to ask if I could take him out for his birthday and to choose a place. He suggested a hotel. Again, jokingly. But it turned into a suggestive conversation and the next day our "lunch" was us messing around in my car. It was explosive. Probably the most passionate make out session of my life.
I had told him previous to us becoming intimate that my only stipulation was that we remain friends. He agreed. NOTE: I DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH HIM OR HURT HIS RELATIONSHIP/FAMILY. While I DO have feelings for him, he doesn't know that and never will.
This was about a month ago. Since then, we've seen each other at his job (where I used to work) a couple of times. During one of those times, I asked if he wanted to get together the next week. He said yes. I asked if he wanted to get a room. He said sure. But when the next week came, he gave me excuses for us not getting together. And while we've texted, any time I try to flirt with him or suggest we get together again, he goes silent. He only replies to texts that aren't suggestive.
Why is he pulling away?
