I chased after a guy and even after he rejected me. Now we’ve had no contact for almost 3 weeks. Can I regain my pride and power?

[Anonymous]

Also if he reaches out to me what should I do?

[Ευδεμονια]

Ehm.. why do you have to chase a persons who clearly rejected you? He has shown his disinterest in a relationship with you. If you want to have power on him, you’re having a toxic behaviour… please, for your sake, reconsider what you’re saying.

[Asker]

I don't know if it’s chasing but I messaged him two times after he said that he doesn’t want to date.

[Asker]

After that I haven’t contacted him

[Ευδεμονια]

Ok you’re not chasing him, reading your question I though you were spying on him 😅 so, he’s been clear, he doesn’t want a date.. so why do you want power on him? It’s useless, since he’s not attracted to you.

[Asker]

I don't know if it’s about attraction. He did a double take on me as soon as he saw me during the first date. He said he doesn’t want to date due to communication issues.

[Ευδεμονια]

I meant attraction to be not only on the physical appearance but also sentimentally… if there are communication issues there are big problems. You can be attracted physically but if it doesn’t work also at mental level, it will never work.

[Asker]

People can work through communication issues

[Ευδεμονια]

I’m sure but if he told you that probably he didn’t want a relationship with you. I’m not defending him, I’m just telling you that to make a couple there needs the will of both parts… and he lacked will. To work on self issues there needs will and a strong sentiment, evidently he lacked both of them.

[Asker]

Yeah, but I hope he comes around. Mean while I won’t contact him.

[Asker]

he left my text on delivered for 6 days after it took me 23 hours to open his text.

He probably saw that I was online on whatsapp when I didn’t open his message (his message wasn’t a question and didn’t require a reply). I open it and replied to him after 11pm when I got home.

Do you think he’s mad about that and got his feelings hurt? Up until that point he was replying to me.

[Ευδεμονια]

I hope your wishes can be accomplished. You’re now asking me something difficult to answer… I don’t know why he answered after a week to your message but I think it’s a bit childish to do so… I don’t know why you answered his message a day later, probably this thing made him bothered. I’m sure there are other communication problems between you two, since if there was at least a little sentiment, a message isn’t a great deal to hurt feelings…

[Asker]

After 6 days I deleted my message to him. I opened his message almost a day later because I was busy that day and I wanted to talk to him when I get home.

[Ευδεμονια]

As I said, I think honestly between you two there were probably other problems, that a single message doesn’t explain. How can he let you be answerless for 6 or more days? If you were busy ok, but he has no justification to not answer more.. if there was at least a little bound between you he would have told you something during these days

[Asker]

That happened after I didn’t open his message for 23 hours and he probably saw that I used whatsapp since I changed my display picture

[Ευδεμονια]

In my opinion it was not a great deal to cut ties with or reject someone only for that.. you had a busy day and happens to check messages for a moment and not answering to others.
If he’s been hurt by that, let me say it’s better losing him than being with him…

[Asker]

Actually that happened after he said he didn’t want to date. After the fall out when I reaches out the first time he was nice

[Ευδεμονια]

If I comprehended well.. he rejected you, after that you two continued messaging and you answered to him after a day, while him stopped answering.. I think honestly he’s giving you directly the rejection in any way possible.

[Asker]

He stopped responding after it took me one day to open his message…

[Asker]

At first he was nice and was okay with messaging

[Asker]

What changed…

[Ευδεμονια]

Who knows? Did you notice him changing after a particular episode? Or maybe his sentiments toward you weren’t so clear.

[Asker]

The first conversation after the fall out I said” I know I shouodn’t have messaged you but you came into my mind”
Then he said ” tbh I was suprised but there’s nothing wrong to catch up”

[Asker]

The second conversation I sent him a funny pic. He replied to it and then after couple message it took me 23h to open his text. Then I got left on delivered

[Ευδεμονια]

I sincerely don’t know what can be happened… maybe he wanted to distance himself from you, considering he rejected you.

[Asker]

So you don’t think he got mad about my late reply?

[Ευδεμονια]

I don’t know, I think he probably got pissed but he probably wasn’t so convinced by the situation. He just cut ties.

[Asker]

Why he left me on delivered and not on seen if he wasn’t planning on answering to me eventually?

[Ευδεμονια]

I don’t know this kind of game since I never did… but if one doesn’t answer for 6 days he’s simply ghosting and distancing you, despite leaving you on delivered. Maybe he deleted the chat.

[Asker]

One time he told me that he had notification problems with whatsapp

[Ευδεμονια]

Ok but I don’t think it’s normal to talk with someone and not receiving a notification and then ignoring that person for more than 6 days

[Tigress1039]

I’m in the same situation, I would say never contact him again, boss up, glow up, find his replacement. If you do slip up forgive yourself and stay on track. Eventually he will fade out your memory and only thing you will be focusing on is yourself. Remember his power over you is as long as you give him your attention and emotions.

[CrazyGirl2]

Of course you can, but that’s on you! Your “pride” (A. k. a. self-esteem) is something you have to have in YOURSELF. It is most definitely not dependent upon how others see you.

[spartan55]

Pride and power? Wtf are you talking about? He rejected you... Hello.