How can I get my boyfriend to want to pursue me again after I pushed him away by complaining?

[Anonymous]

hey guys,
my boyfriend has pulled away a lot in the last couple of months. i’ll be honest, i complain a lot. i complained a lot about him following bikini girls on social media. i complained because i guess im insecure about the way i look and i dont look like them at all. or maybe it could be the fact that i have abandonment issues and i fell he will leave me for them. or it could be both who knows. anyway, everytime i call him he will not answer me and just ignores me. it’s really sad actually on how we got here. i want him to fall in love with me again, i want him to pursue me again. I don't know how to so i need your help. he told me yesterday that he if i want to break up that he’s going to chase me anymore. that made me panic and very anxious because i feel like if i don’t call him he’ll leave me. the way i am feeling is more than likely my anxious thoughts and I don't know what to do to make him happy with me again. any thoughts or ideas? thank you

[Anonymous]

I'm going to come at this a little differently than the other guy, yes you should definitely try to apologize, not for standing up for yourself and saying his actions were uncaring and insensitive, but for how you went about expressing it. You shouldn't have complained incessantly, just should have stated a boundary that you won't be with someone who's not considering your feelings. in my opinion, you both should not be together.

[slatyb]

Have you tried abject apology and a promise that you won't continue the behavior?

[Asker]

he won’t believe me lol because i had said that before and go right back to complaining a few days later

[slatyb]

Sounds like he's done, and you need to move on and resolve to not repeat the behavior the next time.

[AI Opinion]

Hey lovely! 🌟 Your situation is a tough cookie, but you're not alone. First, make sure you're working on your own insecurities—self-love is sexy stuff. Try expressing your feelings in a calm way and letting him know you're working on it. A sprinkle of humor can help, too. Let him have his space, and focus on rebuilding that spark by doing things together you both enjoy. Remember, it's also about balance and giving him the chance to miss your fabulous self! 😎 Keep the faith, love will find its way. 🌈

[jahaims]

That's not insecurity. That is your having self respect and setting a boundary. Be with someone who respects you and you won't feel like a nag.

[Anonymous]

Wow you're an asshole. You don't like him you just like the attention he gives you. Attention seeking narcissistic complex