What is my guy friend doing?

[Anonymous]

We have been friends for a year now. In the beginning things were going great, but now he has virtually replaced me with MY friend, who he met through me! He used to tell me everything about his life, call me for hours. Now he has stopped doing it all, and is doing the exact same things with her! She tells me they discuss everything from movies to his crushes. I am never a priority. When i tried asking him about it, he gave me bs excuses like "i dont have time " and ''im trying to improve my other friendships' on the other hand, fast forward to the last day before uni summer break, he couldnt stop hugging me and got disappointed cuz i was leaving early. he has indirectly admitted to flirting with me in the past, and gets avoidant when i say he's like my brother (as a test). we haven't called or texted in two months now, we only see eachother in group hangouts.

Updates

+1 y

Another detail:

Wherever a mutual friend teases him with me, he denies that he feels anything more for me.

Updates

+1 y

Should be worth mentioning that on a call I once asked him if there was something more between us and he said no.

[Cynicaldreamer]

It sounds like he's detaching himself from you because he likes... or liked you.

However, since you only see him as a friend, he is trying to move on (hence why he "befriended" your friend). To either make you jealous, or because he's tired of pursuing you. Unfortunately, unless you like him as well, I don't think there's much you can do to salvage the relationship- I know you like him as a friend, but if he wants more, he pulled away to move on with his life.

I suggest asking him point blank if he likes you as more than a friend. Just be careful about this, because if you just want a friendship and he wants more, then more than likely it might result in him pulling away completely.

[Asker]

thanks !

full disclosure, i do see him as more than a friend. Although i try my best to make it seem like im indifferent and only want friendship.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Well then! That changes things :)
You might just want to go ahead and come clean with your feelings then- or you're going to lose a friend, and potential boyfriend. Next time you see him, ask if you can talk to him. Don't play any games- just ask him if he likes you (pretty sure it's yes unless he's moved on or likes your friend now). And let him know you feel the same.

[Guy13]

Friend end in the "friendship chair." Obviously, he's not "hot" enough !! Do you recall how you felt after dates and no physical acknowledgement of Attractive? Maybe? I don't know but maybe?

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. You brotherzoned him -- as a test -- and now he's hitting on your friend. LOL. Classic! 😆

#playstupidgameswinstupidprizes

[Asker]

I'm pretty sure he isn't hitting on her, from what I've seen and heard. Plus he doesn't find her attractive, afaik.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm pretty sure you're in denial.

[Asker]

my friend is more like a tomboy friend to him
plus he says he has a crush on this other girl, and he does hit on that girl all the time.

my point his, why did he replace my friendship lol?

[Jamie05rhs]

At the end of the day, the fact remains: You didn't make him a priority. So that's why he's not making you a priority.

[Asker]

just maybe (asking for a guys' perspective)

is it possible that this behaviour is because he thinks i may have a crush on him, and he doesn't so he's pulling back?

although he's very nice to me, but still.

[Jamie05rhs]

Nope; I don't think it's that.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[spartan55]

He figured out he wasn't going to have sex with you, so he lost interest.

[RuthlessAggression]

No such thing as "guy friends"

We're not 5, anymore

[RuthlessAggression]

Of course he's going to. He's scared

[Asker]

going to... what?

[RuthlessAggression]

Denial isn't just a river in egypt

[Avicenna]

Well, you've correctly identified what's happened.

[Asker]

no shit sherlock.
but what does it mean? because it is irregular and unclear behaviour.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like he just enjoys attention and apparently he got more of what he wanted from her. If he wanted more than attention, he would have made a move.