Do you look people in the eye when you're speaking to them?

Question

Do you look people in the eye when you're speaking to them?

I've been working on being better about it. In fact, when I was interviewing for my current job, my now-boss specifically noticed and commended it (I'd been pretty bad about it in the past).

How are you at looking someone in the eye when you're speaking to them?

Do you look people in the eye when youre speaking to them?

RedThread · Accepted Answer

This is something I've also struggled with. Growing up I had a really bad stutter so I used to be afraid to talk to people and look them in the eye. The look of impatience and pity on people's faces was just too much for me. As I got older, I've developed far more fluent speech and have worked on my aversion to it.

The whole meeting people's gazes is still a weird thing to me. How long am I supposed to look at them before looking away? Should I look away and for how long? I feel like it's something many people do naturally but I've always had to force myself to do. Anyway, I know people enjoy it and it's a sign of recognition and respect in our culture so I give it my best.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Yes. I give them my full attention. But honestly, I often watch their mouth instead of gazing directly into their eyes. Too much piercing eye contact can be creepy.

I learned a lesson in my first year of baseball when I was 8 years old. I must have had an unconscious habit looking down when the coach was talking to me. Maybe the coach said something to my dad about it, because I remember my dad telling me in the car that I should always look at a person when they are talking to me. I never forgot that. But I've also learned a lot more about communication over the years.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I do because that's how I was taught, but sometimes guys think I like them because of it. There was one time I worked at Wendy's and I had to help the new guy. When I was training him at the end of my shift he said that I was looking at him very interested and said that it's not very professional. I then quickly explained that I'm LESBIAN and that I look at everyone the same here 😐. Also this do was like 30 and I was 16😑.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

I try to but I have a difficult time making and maintaining eye contact. It’s never been an easy thing for me because I have anxiety and ADHD lol. Keeping eye contact is easier when I know the person well or if I feel comfortable around them, otherwise I will talk to the wall or ceiling lol.

EarthRealm · Answer

No ounce I Know what they look like I don’t need to look at them anymore as I already know what they look like and if they Get all bent outta shape that I’m not looking at them when I’m talking to them first I say well there you go being all needy wanting me to look at you do you want to fuck or something like damn and then I’ll tell them if I am able to continue talking I’ll tell the girl that I already know what ya look like so I don’t need to look at you anymore.
I’ve got in trouble over saying stuff like that I’ve said it to all the female family members accept for my mom.

MTC29 · Answer

Always. Not looking a man in the eye when talking to them is as insulting as refusing their handshake.

SphynxUK · Answer

I’m autistic, so eye contact can be a problem. I didn’t know I didn’t give it until someone pointed it out as an older teen. I worked on it, and will force myself in situations where it’s socially expected. At home, I don’t feel the need. Eye contact or not, I’m still listening and interested in what’s being said.

Guy13 · Answer

Yes, however, it is not enough. One needs to know when to look intently as well as submissively. One needs to demonstrate ability to listen well with soft and direct eye contact when making a clear point too.
-To stare down another with eye-eye is wholly ineffective, whereas, staring to get attention and speak are “acceptable”.

EtherealGuy · Answer

You absolutely need to look people in the eyes when you speak to them. Don't stare, but look at least the majority of the time.

Humans are social animals. And a lot of that is conveyed through the eyes, and the tiny muscles in the face which your brain picks up on subconciously. It's so hard-wired into us that other people will automatically think something's wrong with you if you don't.

Sukaaa · Answer

I am really bad at it I mean i have noticed it lately and I am trying to work on it but If I feel unsafe and talking about something sensetive I just can't I tend to look anywhere but I think noticing it is a start and by time and acceptance it will be better

AviatorTom · Answer

Usually yes, I look directly at them. There are times, though, when I may be busy doing something, and I'm concentrating more on that than looking directly at them. For example, if someone asks me about something on teh computer, I'm looking at the computer, not at them.

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes, if I know the person. I don't like looking strangers in the eye though. I have social anxiety disorder, and it sets me off. If I'm at an interview or something though, where I have to at least pretend, I'll usually look at their eyebrows. The person that I'm talking to can't tell the difference, and it doesn't quite give me the heebie jeebies in the same way.

Orange85 · Answer

I try to make eye contact. It’s kinda hard. ESP with strangers… you don’t want to stare deep in a strangers soul. So with strangers I try to just focus on there whole face. I look at there eyes but not directly if that makes sense

MysticAngel5000 · Answer

Yes I do. I don't go overboard, depending on the relationship and the conversation, but I do make eye contact. Eye contact is important to show that you're listening, paying attention, seeing the person as a human/equal, etc.

brownna529 · Answer

I used try to look people in the eye when I talk to them but sometimes that makes people uncomfortable? I still do it a lot but if I notice they seem weird or quiet when they aren't normally, I look at their face in general or their nose area.

RavVid · Answer

I can stare a cat out but I don't do that with people when I am talking to them. I do maintain a lesser degree of eye contact. I think we increase eye contact when a point is being made as a non verbal cue.

Birdlegs · Answer

Yes i have to remind myself that I have to look away sometimes or else it might disturb the person im talking to. Plus for some reason I don’t blink often so I kinda just stare into their eyes.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I look at the face and body but not always the eye - I want to maintain a casual and non intimate association so I try not to be too personal when I talk to people.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I dont like making eye contact unless somenes laying on my lap and i’m caressing their hair. Other than that, Its just weird. I’ll look up when talking but i’ll look past them.

ZS007 · Answer

I can't 😭 I can't only do that with my friends. I feel intimidated and anxious looking people in the eyes. It makes me fidgety. I look up and down all the time. I seriously don't know where to look!

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Not always. I could be better at it, but i could be worse too. Actually, i have the creeper gene, so too much eye contact is worse than not enough. Ell oh ell!

purplepoppy · Answer

Yes but it's hard to strike that balance between being attentive and looking like you're trying to intimidate them

Cherry234 · Answer

I'm not that great. I could be better. It's not something I'm very aware of or even think about. It's an unconscious habit I have.

SaoirseS · Answer

I do, but it’s natural to break gaze once in a while. Too much eye contact can often be viewed as a form of aggression.

dougeats · Answer

Always, when you dont it indicates you are most likely fabricating

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Answer

Nope. I seldom ever look people in the eye and really bothers people lol.

Tinana · Answer

Yup and I find it annoying when they aren’t looking at me when I talk. Like don’t stare but like look at me too

KoolKita · Answer

I look the person in the eye when listening, but I need to look to the side to be able to think about what I'm saying... Still working on that.

BungusHighFivePizza · Answer

my gaze like ice when u talk 2 me strike fear in shameful hearts strike admiration in pure 1s

Tomcat68 · Answer

Use the 50/70 rule. Maintain eye contact 50% of the time when speaking and 70% when listening.

josephinelcajon · Answer

It depends on how well you know them and what the conversation is about. I am on the spectrum and avoid it mostly.

DermalPunch · Answer

Yes, I do. I am a firm believer in it. Unless I can sense someone's attraction and I'm not interested. Then I will avert my eyes.

kao118 · Answer

Almost startlingly so I suppose I can scare people sometimes because I tend to give off the impression that I’m staring into their soul like an interrogator sometimes lol 😂😂😂

worldscolide · Answer

I do.. My wife, not so much.. Some people that dont do it are autistic. My wife has aspergers syndrome, It makes it very hard for her to look anyone in the eye.

Cristinaissweet · Answer

Terrible. I have to work on it, my self confidence isn't very high.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. It's a matter of self confidence and respect for the person. The only time I don't is where cultural aspects maintains extended eye contact is rude.

If I talked to someone's shoes they'd never take me seriously. If I talk to the air over their shoulder they'd think I'm either rude, ignorant or untrustworthy.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Yeah, the look someone gives you when you’re talking to them can tell you a lot about them.

Rania05 · Answer

It's hard to, I try but looking at someone in the eye makes me timid.

LeeannaDD · Answer

I do but I've learned this a western thing. I know in some Asian cultures it is rude

MikeInHawaii · Answer

I try to. A really buxom friend, with a habit of wearing low cut dresses was constantly lifting my chin when we spoke, though.

Massageman · Answer

Actually, many people will be looking at the bridge of the nose of the other person so they don't get scared by looking into their eyes.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No; because I have ADD, and if I look at someone in the eyes then I get distracted and I can't think about the words that I'm saying.

yourpalval · Answer

I struggle to make eye contact with people I don't like but otherwise yeah

Fireguy17 · Answer

Yes, it is a great way to show that you are paying attention to them.

Anonymous · Answer

I like to do that but I know not everyone is comfortable with that so unless I know the person, then I will not look them in the eye

Jamesshinobi · Answer

Hell no. i dont want them to see the torture, strife, amd evil in me. im tryna fake the good life and get out of Hell.

Kasabiian · Answer

No, I don't. And I don't want someone gazing into my eyes either unless it's an attractive woman.

awkwardddgirl · Answer

I can do it only with my friends and strangers but I can't do it with the guy I like

Smart_Girl167 · Answer

I never do. It's just too hard😂😂😂I try to do it once in a while but unfortunately I can not hold someone gaze for more than couple seconds😅

driven159 · Answer

Yes, you can tell if they are lying by looking into their eyes

maximumpower · Answer

Yes. If you find it difficult to do so, concentrate on looking at the bridge of their nose.

Fuentes · Answer

No I find it sus unless I need too but I try not too, unless it's in a professional setting.

DevinAM · Answer

I can't, I try sometimes but it's extremely uncomfortable.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, you can really rattle some people by doing that. 🤣

Ringsmiley · Answer

Eyes don't lie, I look into each other's eyes and I can tell if he's lying

Joanann · Answer

Yes.. at least I can tell if the person is lying or not

emadoo · Answer

Yes, eye contact makes you more understandable

michael6969number1 · Answer

of course. where else are you supposed to look?

Lickmymeet · Answer

No I look at the ground to lower peoples expectations

Waldoe · Answer

Always, the eyes are the window to the soul...

AFretiredTXn · Answer

Yes, but not on here. LOL

Anonymous · Answer

A girl glimpses at my crotch while talking to me. I wonder what that’s supposed to mean.

Knoxmandz19 · Answer

Always, its called being polite & focused.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Yes. And I listening attentively.

Do you look people in the eye when you're speaking to them?

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