He wanted sex with me?

[Anonymous]

A guy told me on the 1st date that he wanted a "1 or 2 week break" with me (hinting indirectly to me) to another city. He said we can stay at his friends cottage.

I said ok but we didn't kiss on the 1st date (he wanted to but I wasn't sure as he never mentioned what he wanted, whether he was looking for a relationship or casual).

He never texted me on his own and after 2 days I texted him. We met up again but he changed the whole plan, saying he's going to hang out with his friend who is visiting him.

What does this mean? Is this a red flag?

[20yearsolder]

Well if he was really into you, he probably would have texted you before you had to reach out to him. I would say it's a red flag when you agreed to stay in a cottage after one date and then he decides nah I'd rather hang out with a buddy

[Asker]

Do you think he's a fuckboy? By the 2nd date, we had only talked a little and he was already like i dont want to keep you waiting for long. It seemed like 10 mins and he wasn't willing to stay. All i saw that he kept mentioning how he had dinner with a female friend and looking at my chest, legs

[20yearsolder]

What do you care? You're the one that agreed to go away to a cottage with a guy that you think is a fuckboy. Oh I fairly certain that he was hoping he could get into your pussy

[Asker]

And after sex what would he do? Ghost or keep me as friends with benefits/booty call?

[20yearsolder]

Well I would guess that depends on whether you're willing to fuck him again. I'm sure he would come around when he wanted some pussy

[Asker]

I haven't had sex with him and we atopped texting and seeing exah other but he's still saved my number on his whatsapp?

[20yearsolder]

If you're asking me if I have any idea why he did this? I don't have a clue

[20yearsolder]

If you were to contact you would you agree to be his fuck toy

[Asker]

I mean he didn't get sex right so why keep my number?

[Asker]

No i want a relationship

[20yearsolder]

Trust me, he's not looking for a relationship. So don't waste your time

[Asker]

But why is he going on dates then?

[20yearsolder]

To hopefully have sex

[Asker]

But isn't he scared he will catch feelings?

[20yearsolder]

Nope, he fucks them and then moves on to another one

[Asker]

But he keeps contact with all of them?

[20yearsolder]

If they will drop their panties for him I'm sure he does. You didn't drop your panties and I would guess that's why he doesn't contact you

[Asker]

But why does he keep my number then?

[20yearsolder]

I don't know, why don't you send him a message and ask why are you keeping my number when you don't even talk to me anymore

[Asker]

What can you guess about this?

[20yearsolder]

I don't want to guess because I don't really care

[Asker]

Please guess?

[20yearsolder]

Because you forgot to delete you. I don't see how it's beneficial for him to keep your name and number in his phone. He hasn't contacted you since, he doesn't want to go out again.

[Asker]

No he has. When he was sick i texted him and he replied and wanted to go out again 2 months ago

[Asker]

But i didn't ask him out and then he got mad at me again. He also got jealous when he saw me with a guy

[20yearsolder]

So just enjoy the new guy and block the old guy. Don't waste your time on someone that doesn't make you their priority

[Asker]

But do you think he would eventually come back to me?

[20yearsolder]

No And I'm done talking about this so find somebody else to ask more stupid questions too

[Asker]

You are so funny

[JPresidente]

More than likely, yes. A guy his age will typically lead with sex and when he was rebuffed, he changed his mind. Sad but true. It's probably for the best. Find somebody else that's more interested in you for you.

[Asker]

But how was he rebuffed? I texted him right after our date and also asked him to meet up. I just didn't kiss because i wasn't sure and he wasn't texting me at all

[JPresidente]

Did he attempt a kiss or ask if he could kiss you?

[Asker]

No he just looked at me and smiled whilst grabbing me tightly by the waist when we gave each other a hug after our date

[JPresidente]

Then my best guess is that he wasn't feeling the same vibe from you and assumed he would not get anything sexual from you. The only other option would be something is going on with another girl that is a sure thing that you don't know about. A guy his age is not gonna abandon a chance to get laid over time with a guy friend (unless he's gay). Those are my two best guesses.

[JPresidente]

Sorry this happened. However, I'm available for the week to stay with you at a friend's cottage. Just kidding... lol

[Asker]

But hr still has my number saved?

[JPresidente]

More than likely. You may be a second choice for him and he'll come back to you if this other girl situation doesn't work out. Lot of "if's" I realize but sure, he'll probably circle back at some point.

[Asker]

I haven't seen him aince 1 month so he's probably moved on from me with another girl?

[JPresidente]

That's a strong possibility, yes. I'm guessing you liked him, were attracted to him and thought you had a connection? Sorry to hear this happened. Hopefully you can find someone new. Plenty of fish in the sea, as they say.

[Asker]

When he was sick i texted him and he replied and wanted to go out again 2 months ago

But i didn't ask him out and then he got mad at me again. He also got jealous when he saw me with a guy

[Asker]

But now he suddenly vanished. He told me he didn't have plans for summer but said he might visit his friend in a different country. But since 1st July, he has not been seen at all.

[JPresidente]

Oh. It seems there's a bit more back story to your relationship with this guy that I was not aware of. How long was your relationship?

[Asker]

It wasn't a relationship but we saw each other for and then again he seemed like he wanted to go out again. He was giving compliments too but it all vaniahed when i didn't ask him out via texts. He became passive aggressive again.

On our first ever date I noticed that while he was sharing bits and pieces about himself, I was the only one asking him more questions. He wasn't asking me many questions. He also checked me out from head to toe

He had asked me where I live and told him but when I asked him, he dodged it at first and the 2nd time, he mentioned Richmond.

He said the break shall be in a different city (I told him my place is a student hall where I don't like living) so I'm assuming he didn't want to take me to his house and he knew he can't come to mine hence going to a different place?

He wanted a kiss but I didn't kiss him as I felt it was too early.

The 2nd date was awful. When I asked him about his recent plans, he kept saying he has friends inviting him for lunches and dinners and another friend is coming to visit him from Paris. So basically, all the "future plans" were gone.

He was very cold with me and he even said he doesn't want to keep me waiting for long with him. He was clearly not interested in talking to me and I noticed all he did was check me out and give forced, irritated replies.

At one point, he even stopped talking and started watching other people around us. He was also looking at my legs instead of being interested in our conversation smh.

Then a group of girls wearing tiny shorts came in and he pointed towards 1 girl whose ass cheeks were visible. He said he saw her on the tube and how he's not a creep but it was just a coincidence..

He also said he went on lunch with his female friend a day before and how he will be going over to another female friends house after our date.

When we parted, he gave me a hug but after that, he stopped meeting me and replying to me.

[Asker]

I wrote the full post before

[JPresidente]

OK. Now it's all making sense. This guy is a FBoy and that's all he is interested in. Women want an emotional connection before they want a physical one. Guys want a physical connection before they will commit emotionally. In his case, he was more interested in you for sex. He's probably an attractive guy and if most girls consider him hot, that means he knows it and he is only looking for his next conquest at the moment. He would only use you for sex, then dump you and move on to the next girl. I know it probably stings because you can see many attractive qualities in him and he's good looking and a side of you wants to tame him but believe me, this guys will not slow down any time soon and settle down. It sucks, I can sense the frustration in your words.

[Asker]

Ok but why do you think he can't be with me? he's seeing other girls, going on dates for what? isn't he scared he will catch feelings?

[Asker]

he's 26

[JPresidente]

I don't think he wants to put in the effort. He senses that you will not be easy to bed so he's not going to put in the effort so he's moving on to a more easy lay in his mind. Don't take this the wrong way but I'm gonna lay this out there. You're looking at it from a woman's perspective. Why would he not want me? I am pretty, smart and great personality. Why would he not want to be with me? You have to throw all that out the window. It's hard for women to think like men do and it's hard for men to think like women do. It's no more complicated than the male sex drive. He is not the least bit interested in settling down and a relationship with all the stuff that will tie him down. He knows he's good looking and can get most any girl he wants (for sex), so he will try for that. He's not gonna slow down for you unfortunately. If I was your bestie, I'd take a bucket of cold water and throw it on you. Been there, done that. Been hung up on a girl for months and could never figure out why she wasn't interested in me after everything I did for her. Very tough!

[Asker]

You are right about the effort. He never put any effort and i had to text him first before he replied to me and asked to go out.
Is it because he knows he doesn't want a relationship hence he makes no effort?

Thats the thing though. he's not extremely attractive but is kind of attractive. he's small though for a guy like just about 5 feet 4/5 inches so I dont know how he has so much entitlement and arrogance.

But he does speak well and is kind of charming though his original colours keep seeping through the nice guy facade he puts on.

The only issue is that he has the numbers of the girls who are easier to get and I am certain he has booty calls but I am literally nothing of those.
So whats the point of keeping my number?

[Asker]

Heyyyy

[Asker]

Hey dudes

[spartan55]

You just keep recycling the same story OVER and OVER... smh