Why is my boyfriend not sexual with me anymore?

[Anonymous]

Okay so me and my boyfriend around a year ago stopped having sex for like 11 months. We started having “more sex” prob like once or maybe if I’m lucky 2 times a month. Well yesterday was our two year anniversary and I wore some sexy lingerie…. He said “oh nice” gave me a kiss and that’s it… like wtf is the problem? Ik I looked so good (especially because I’m more toned and lost some weight) but like whyyy is he not interested? It was a special occasion like? And I told him a month ago (and kept bringing up) I wanted to have sex on our anniversary but apparently he didn’t care that much or gaf I put effort in I love this man so much but like I don’t understand maybe someone’s gone through this or maybe a guy feels the same way he feels but PLEASE help!!!

[MrOracle]

You are not the problem here: he's the problem. It sounds like he's asexual, or borderline asexual. That's not something you can change or fix, and it's not something a girl with average sexual needs is going to be compatible with long-term.

The two of you don't have long-term compatibility in my opinion, so I recommend you part ways and that you find (and vet) a guy who is going to be a lot more compatible with you long-term.

[Asker]

I feel like we both are so compatible on everything else in reality the only thing we arnt compatible on is sex!… I didn’t know this in the beginning as well because it was “normal” in the beginning and now it’s two years and I’ve…fell in love with him. If you loved everything else about someone.. but the sex wasn’t there would you take that chance to leave and find someone who’s compatible with me on sex but isn’t there for me on everything else (like emotional etc etc)

[MrOracle]

That's your decision to make, but you need to accept that he's not likely to change, so if you're going to stay with him, then you need to accept that your sex life is going to be minimal at best.

[spartan55]

Sorry to say he is either getting it somewhere else, or is not into you anymore.

[Asker]

Well Ik he’s not getting it from somewhere else and yea.. sadly that’s what I’m feeling like she’s not that into me anymore..

[MountAverage]

Well, you didn't tell us what he says about it. That's the most crucial information here.

[Asker]

I did he said “oh nice you look pretty” but after that he just laid down and went to bed…I was sitting there titties out and all.. felt so embarrassed and less sexy then I’ve ever felt

[MountAverage]

You misunderstood me. I'm talking about what he says about the fact that he's not sexual with you anymore. What does he tell you why it has been that way?

[Asker]

I asked him if he was asexual and he laughed and said no… he’s been the happiest he’s ever been (at least he’s told me this) so Ik it’s not stress etc.. I legitimately do not know why he doesn’t want to have sex.. unless he’s lying to me but he always says he loves me but it’s like I don't know

[MountAverage]

Well, that still doesn't answer my question. So you asked him if he's asexual and he said no. Okay. But what did he say then why he's not sexual with you anymore? You did ask him. Are you telling me he simply refused to give you an answer/reason?