Is it normal to still be angry?

Question

I was in love with someone throughout my twenties. He was a complete narcissist, and unbeknownst to me at the time; did not like me at all, and in fact would fantasize about dating girls that rich and popular. Popular is defined here as the highest status girl in our town. Sadly he was disgusting and his behavior was abusive. He degraded me, bullied me, humiliated me, and even denied knowing me to others, despite me being objectively prettier than the girls he ditched me for. He would do EXTREMELY disgusting and sociopathic things towards me. Now he is set to marry one of the richest most well known girls. They look so happy together and he treats high status girls like gold, introducing them to all his family and friends. I haven't had a date in years and am single as hell in my 30s. I am bitter, livid, and angry. This occurred 5 years ago. Is it normal to still be angry?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It’s normal, but at this point you’re only hurting yourself with these feelings. You have to start moving on, and the first step to doing that is accountability. Yes this man sounds like a huge asshole, but why did you allow him in your life for so long? Hate it or love it, you let him use you for sex and whatever else without demanding a relationship, and you messed up big time by doing that. Doesn’t matter what he promised, what he said or didn’t say, sticking with him was a choice you made over and over, regardless of your reasons.

Next, you should work towards acceptance, making peace with your own wrongs so that you can forgive him for his. Forgiveness has absolutely nothing to do with him, and everything to do with taking your power back so you can move on. You hang on to all that rage, but what good does it do? It keeps you focused on his life, and restricts you from moving on with yours. Let that hurt and pain go. Hating him won’t make him less engaged to this other woman, or make him sorry for what he put you through. It won’t put you in a happy relationship, and will keep being a burden on your shoulders. Let him go, forgive him and forgive yourself, then move on. Because you don’t wanna look back in 5 more years still traumatized by that situation.

20yearsolder · Accepted Answer

It's understandable for you to be pissed off still. Here's the problem with that, it gets you nothing. The sooner you can move on the better off you are. Why let this dip shit eat up the rest of your life. He's already wasted enough of it. Work on making yourself happy. Go after a guy that you're interested in. Fuck the worst he can say is I'm not going to date you. Big fucking deal then you move on to the next guy that you're interested in. Don't sit there and be pissed off for the rest of your life. Get it through your head he's not coming back and I know you don't want him to come back but the rage does not benefit you whatsoever

spartan55 · Accepted Answer

At this point I'd say it's reached the 'needs therapy' stage. by the way, there is no such thing as 'objectively prettier'. It's also never a good luck to brag about being better looking than others. Let other people do that..