Why did it take him longer to share this?

[Anonymous]

First of all, I’m fully aware I might be putting too much thought into this but my brain is just stuck on this 😩

So, I was molested when I was a kid and I’m fairly open about it. I don’t walk down 5th Ave talking about it but if I’m gunnu be in a serious relationship with someone, they know about it.

Well, I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year and he recently told that he was molested as a kid. I can’t even say he exactly told me. He was giving me a recap of a conversation he had with someone and him being molested by x happened to be part of it.

I’m not mad or hurt. I do understand it’s a sensitive subject and I’m glad that I know now. I guess for me, why would you wait to tell your s/o this? Like I said, I’m fully aware I could be putting too much thought but my brain is just stuck.

[spartan55]

Are you kidding me? So you feel that because you choose to share your trauma early in your relationship then EVERYONE should handle the disclosure of their trauma like YOU.. wow, you take selfish to another level... trauma is a very personal thing that everyone handles differently, maybe even differently than you. I really hope you didn't bring this up with your boyfriend...

[Asker]

I literally said none of that at all. I’m sorry you’re interrupting it that way.

[spartan55]

I never said that you brought it up to him. I said I hope that you didn't. So, what's the whole point here? You're: "not mad or hurt" and won't talk to him about it... So...🤔

[Asker]

How would I go about talking to him about when it was in a recap of a conversation that he had. I don’t want to “interrogate” him about it. I do understand that this is something you talk about in your own time, I really do. I guess my train of thought is…I suppose I don’t understand my train of thought on this. For me, it makes sense to be open to your s/o about these things from the beginning however I KNOW it doesn’t work like that. I guess my brain is “cross firing” for lack of better wording 😕 I do feel like an a$$hole but I’m just stuck on this and don’t know how to handle it.

[spartan55]

Right, but again, what makes sense to you isn't going to make sense for others.

[molonski2]

Its a difficult subject to broach and he sees it as a great negative , so I'd look at it another way , he has now opened his heart to you by telling you this , everyone works at a different pace , some memories are suppressed.

Dont put a time limit on him , just be thankful that he told you , and thank him for confiding , everyone is different.

[Asker]

I really do feel that way. I’m glad he told me, I really am. My brain is “cross firing” right now. I feel like an a$$hole right now.