Was it rape…? I don’t want to claim that if it’s not. But I’m so confused. Why would he do this? Why now?
We’ve been in a loving relationship almost 10 years. And not once, did this happen… I don’t understand why it happened now, what changed. I guess it’s a long story, but I’ll try to shorten it:
We’ve recently opened our relationship, we are seeing a new girl together, although Im too shy to do anything still. But they are active. Only mentioning this as a possible reason for his behaviour shift…
I’ve been very frustrated sexually and had been expressing that a lot lately to him, maybe I made him frustrated too. I don't know. I’ve been asking for more, for the intimacy of it though because I've been feeling sad and insecure. Not just fucking. It’s hard to even type it, and so I think it’s something wrong. He had sex with me in the bed and it was horrible, I kept crying and saying no. I even screamed once, but he insisted on putting it in anyways, I tried to push back but I’ve had muscle dystrophy and I just couldn’t and quickly fatigued and gave up. I don’t know why he continued even though I was crying… I’m so confused. He’s never done that.. I was pushing him away with my legs but it was too hard and it was horrible. It was feeling good against my will and I just kept looking away, wanting to go away. And he just kept saying … almost done.. almost done… I’m so confused. But I’m even more confused. He’s acting shocked when I said he raped me, likes he’s in disbelief. There’s no way he just did that. “I’m not like that.” And he hasn’t been, for near 10 years … so why now? What did I do that made him feel this was ok? Like, he's the one acting distraught now. Like he had no idea and just thought I liked it, like all the other times. But can’t you tell? I’m so confused. He’s saying I kept begging for sex all week and he just did what I asked for and now he’s acting distraught
