Guy I was talking to is acting weird after seeing a pic of me. Am I reading to much into it?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this guy i had met online through a mutual friend. He lives close by to me so we started talking and getting to know each other. Things were getting pretty personal, we would talk about life and the way we view things. He would often tell me how special he thought i was and i often made him feel things he hasn't in a long time. Finally after a week of heavy talks like this we decided to share pictures. I was nervous and afterwards he calmed me and assured me everything was fine.

However its been about 3 days since then and while he isn't ghosting me he's acting strange. He has been able to talk much and i just assumed he's been really busy with work and life stuff. I've messaged him a few times and he responds and doesn't straight up ignore me but the responses seem dry compared to how we would chat before. Like i had said before i thought he was just super busy and that contributed to the dry conversation but our mutual friend says he's been talking and hanging out with him quite a lot since then.

So am i just reading to much into this entire situation or should i just call this entire situation DOA?

[SueShe]

Talking solely via voice message is a totally different thing from talking while seeing a picture of the target person.

People associate images to a voice and make up a ghost portrait of that person, depending on voice intonation, pitch and warmth of the voice. Now, sending a picture to that target person may have crushed his perception of you and the way he visualized you and in my opinion, he is slowly distancing himself from you because you don't resemble the mental picture he had of you.

No, you are not reading too much into it but sadly, it is a fact. Your best option in this case if you notice that conversations don't resume to the level prior to sharing pictures, to let this "relation" die off.

The question to you is: How did you react to his picture? Did it correspond to the mental image you had of him and how was your initial reaction when seeing the picture?

[Asker]

From the jump i never scared what he looked like but what was curious. when he showed me the picture i responded telling him that he was cute and i found him very handsome. As i said i was nervous for how he would react and after seeing my picture he was reassuring and calming.

[SueShe]

How do you perceive yourself? Do you find faults in your looks? Do you wish that some features looked different and if yes, would you worry about those insecurities? Would you worry about what other people think of you?

[Asker]

There is things i don't like about myself. I actively work to change the things i don't like and the stuff i can't change is just apart of who i am. I do not often read much into what other people say about me and if someone finds fault with that i usually leave it to being on them, im just me. But with this guy i dont know it. I was nervous about the exchange i can't really explain why.

[SueShe]

The reason is quite simple. If you like a person, you want to make the best first impression and that is probably what is causing you your issues. You don't like a few things about you but also, there is not much you can do about them without losing your personality, your integrity or your self-confidence.

Give it a try and you said it yourself that his voice was reassuring and calming. Perhaps it is just a busy schedule that prevents him from being the way he was before. Give it a few weeks and if nothing changes, then you have to act upon your gut feeling.

[PinkRose24]

Don't message him. See if he even messages you first, if he doesn't then he doesn't find you physically attractive.

[mickmrly]

If he keeps acting weird you should bring it up with him. If he’s too shallow to treat you the same way as before you should just dump him and move on to someone else. Why people get so weird with looks is beyond me, even if you are not his cup of his physically he should at least have the decency to tell you and let you find someone else. The half assed slow ghosting is just wasting time.

[Anonymous]

He probably thinks you’re not that attractive. Why pursue someone with the same enthusiasm when you’re not attracted to them? You don’t want to just flat out say that. It’s rude and someone else may find them attractive. 🤷‍♂️

[Anonymous]

It seems he might not be into you all that much, but you could always ask about the pic.

[spartan55]

You shouldn't have done that.

[stratford]

What sort of picture was it?

[Asker]

We just exchanged normal pictures of what each other looks like nothing more.

[stratford]

Ah, right, and he didn't know what you looked like before? What did you think of the pic he shared?

[Asker]

no we didn't, we had met through a mutual friend and happened to find out he lived nearby. we talked on the phone quite a lot before we decided to share the pics. And i thought he was cute and quite handsome and told him as such.

[stratford]

Has he replied to you yet? Perhaps you could make a joke and ask him if your picture put him ofg?

[Guy13]

🤷🏻‍♂️…