How would I know if my flatmate likes me but he's too shy to ask me out?

[Anonymous]

He is an English boy the same age as me and I barely see him because he stays in his room a lot. When I do speak to him when we are both in the kitchen he just looks down at his phone instead of looking at me. He is handsome and I do like him but I wish he would pay attention to me more or be a bit more forwards.

[Summeroflove]

Well…. The answer would be flat out asking him. Flat out making move yourself.

There is that chance though that he might not be into you like that. If you do get rejected take it as closure and move on and try not to be awkward and let it go.

If he does like you. He could think asking you out could be too awkward or make things weird.

If you wait too long you could loose your chance. If he finds someone else or someone else finds him.

You could do some things like. Cook for him. Do his laundry. Or something like that sometimes as a nice gesture.

I wish you the best. If he flat avoids you. It could mean two things. He isn’t into you. Or he is into you and he’s nervous and doesn’t want you to find out.

You could also do something together. Maybe watch a movie or something.

[Asker]

We already do each others laundry sometimes but I haven't thought about watching a movie together so I'll try that

[Summeroflove]

Maybe during the movie you can. Maybe open up a bit about how you feel and see if he is interested in you.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah. A movie would be nice. Maybe make some popcorn too.

Do you cook for each other too? Or mostly for yourselves?

[Summeroflove]

You seem like you take good care of one another

[Asker]

Yeah sometimes we get pizza to share

[Summeroflove]

Well. I hope the movie goes well. Does he seem kind of nervous or just uninterested?

Hey. It’s almost Halloween. You could do a scary one and then act scared and see if he might hold your hand or cuddle. But. Don’t push it either if he don’t want to

[Summeroflove]

So sometimes you cook and sometimes you get pizza. You both seem to take good care of each other.

I don’t want to be too nosy lol. If one of you is sick around the other. Do you just give the other space or take care of each other?

Like if someone has a cold or flu or bug or COVID?

[Asker]

I think he's just shy and has anxiety. Neither of us have been sick yet

[Summeroflove]

Well I’m glad neither of you have been sick. He might have.

Maybe after a movie and everything. Maybe you can talk a little. Maybe tell him you like him.

Sometimes a back scratch can also help calm anxiety too. Just putting that out there lol.

[Summeroflove]

You could just say. Hey I was thinking maybe about watching a movie tonight. You know of anything we can watch? Or hey you wanna watch whatever movie with me? I’m making popcorn!

Seems like fun. I hope it really goes well for you both.

[Asker]

Thank you x

[Summeroflove]

You’re welcome! I wish you the best. Just remember don’t wait to long in telling him either. You take good care of one another.

You got this!

[Summeroflove]

I’m sorry if I’m getting too nosey. Have you ever told him he’s handsome?

[Asker]

I said he looks cute

[Summeroflove]

That’s nice. Did he say anything?

[Summeroflove]

You could also do it again sometime. Just a time when you’re thinking he’s handsome. You could just tell him.

[Asker]

He said thanks and blushed a bit

[Summeroflove]

Awe. There is a good chance he might like you. I hope your movie goes really really well.

Tell him he’s handsome again because you obviously think it. Might as well say it. You must have made him feel good.

I think you have a good chance with that being said if just coming out and telling him you like him. Even if rejected. At least you will have closure.

But you both seem to be good to one another which I find sweet.

If anything happens give updates

[Summeroflove]

Complements really can make someone feel good inside. You’re so good to him.

[Asker]

I like to make him feel good

[Summeroflove]

Yeah because you’re a good person with a good heart. I really wish you the best with this.

Enjoy your movie. Maybe tell him he’s handsome.

I know you have the courage to tell him how you feel. Just don’t talk yourself out of it

[Summeroflove]

Let me know if there are any updates 😃. I know some people bring up the risks. But. If you really like him. I suppose it’s a risk worth taking.

You never know unless you try and ask.

[Asker]

Omg that's actually so smart. I shall try that later 😅

[Summeroflove]

Thanks. Have you watched a movie yet or are you still thinking about it or planning it?

Hope it goes well!

[Asker]

We watched Netflix in his bed 😅

[Summeroflove]

Awe. What did you watch?

[Asker]

We watched some of the office and also sex education

[Summeroflove]

Cool. Have you told him you like him?

[Summeroflove]

Did you see the American or British version?

[Asker]

I didn't tell him yet and it was the American one

[Summeroflove]

Cool. Well. You’re working your way up to it.

[Summeroflove]

Did you have snacks like popcorn or just watched the movie? Also, did he seem to be comfortable with you

[Asker]

Yeah we had popcorn and crisps and we kind of cuddled

[Summeroflove]

That’s really sweet

[Summeroflove]

Have you told him he’s handsome again?

[Asker]

Yes I have

[Summeroflove]

How did he react?

[Asker]

He kinda blushed and stuff

[Summeroflove]

Lol.

[Summeroflove]

If you know what kind of stuff he likes. You could get him something. Even something small and thoughtful

[Asker]

A handjob? 😂

[Summeroflove]

Ehhhhhhh…. Maybe you should keep things innocent for now. I’m more of the type to wait before having sex. Lol.

[Summeroflove]

I meant more something from a shop or something.

[Asker]

Ooh ok

[Summeroflove]

Ok. Lol

[Summeroflove]

My view on sex is that it’s special. Between married people. Sure people aren’t perfect. Sometimes people do stuff. But long as they repent.

I think building strong romantic bond first is better. Sex comes later.

[Asker]

Yes you are right!

[Summeroflove]

Thanks!

[Summeroflove]

I guess Christmas is coming up. You could get him a gift. I don’t know if you have spent Christmas together yet or not.

[Asker]

No we haven't, but I want us to have matching Christmas jumpers maybe

[Summeroflove]

Yeah you could do that.

[Summeroflove]

That would be sweet of you. You could also ask too if there was anything he wanted for Christmas.

[Summeroflove]

You genuinely seem like a amazing person and he’s so blessed to have you in his life.

[Summeroflove]

You know. You could get matching Christmas PJ’s and then give it to him and you both can wear it Christmas Eve

[Asker]

Omg yes!!

[Summeroflove]

Yeah. I think you have a good idea with that

[Summeroflove]

Do you have any games in your flat?

[Summeroflove]

Like card games, board games, video games?

[Asker]

We have Uno and I think he has a playstation

[Summeroflove]

Have you played UNO or PlayStation with him?

[Asker]

Yeah he teaches me how to play Minecraft with him

[Summeroflove]

That sounds like fun

[Summeroflove]

I assume you have played UNO if it’s there

[Asker]

Yes!

[Summeroflove]

Well. I assume you’re ready to confess your feelings.

You could tell him. Hey we need to talk. I want to be open and honest with you. If you don’t feel the same way. I understand I will move on and won’t bring it up again and don’t want to make anything weird between us. But I really have a crush on you or whatever you want to say

[Summeroflove]

You could say maybe. We need to have a meeting or something. Whatever you want to say.

[Asker]

I just want to kiss him so bad

[Summeroflove]

Try for a kiss then

[Summeroflove]

If he expresses he likes you. Maybe try for a kiss.

[Summeroflove]

How are things going?

[123CanningHighway]

I'm English, I've been asked out by multiple women , and not asked them out a lot more often, and it's not necessarily through shyness I reckon he thinks you're out of his league, he's punching above his weight, you're too smart, too good looking and he thinks he'll getting turned down (by the girl he believes is the fittest in the building) the consequences of which, he believes) don't bear thinking about. Either ask him out' along the lines of 'I need a whole evening to study your accent)(English lads love it) or demand to know what he finds so hideous about you that he can't even look at your face. and wait to hear how gorgeous you are.

Thank me later

JOB DONE

[AmandaYVR]

He doesn't like you. He stays in his room.

And don't date your roommate! Only trouble can come from that. It's the most disruptive relationship you can attempt. One of you will eventually have to move.

[Summeroflove]

I thought this might be the case at first. After she gave me a little more information in the comments. Which you can see under my question.

She said that it seems like he might have more anxiety. She said that she’s complemented him before and he blushed.

While. Yeah sometimes things can go wrong and be awkward. They seem to take care of each other pretty well. Such as doing each other’s laundry sometimes and cooking for each other.

So. Maybe he likes her. Maybe he doesn’t. But people should be finding love. Sometimes you have to take a chance.

Personally I think for me at least. Relationships where you know the person last longer then dating strangers.

Sometimes. Even if there is a risk of rejection or things being awkward. It’s a risk if you really like someone you should take.

[Summeroflove]

Even if something happens and someone has to move at some point. You really never know unless you try.

[AmandaYVR]

@Summeroflove Last time, less than a week ago, you also replied to my comment and said the exact opposite. You said sometimes a guy is just not interested and girls need to get the hint and accept this.

You can write your own comments to the Asker. You don't have to keep disagreeing with mine.

[fonduegirl]

Just ask him out already. If he says he's seeing someone, treat yourself with a pastry!

[Asker]

A pastry? 😂

[fonduegirl]

Yeah sure

[JPresidente]

Talk to him. Tell him something is broken or doesn't work. Guys love to fix things for girls. Heck, tell him the lightbulb went out and you need him to replace it. There's your starting point.

[Asker]

Lol I'll try that

[AviatorTom]

Ask him out. A woman doesn't need to wait for the man to ask.

[nolabels]

Ask him and then watch to see how many shades of color his face turns.

[AddylynnNightingale]

If you want him, you're going to have to ask him out.

[KrakenAttackin]

Why do we need to see a picture of your ass in ill-fitting jeans to answer this question?

[Vikkrram]

He is shy ma'am i guess..

[WhitneySnow]

Does he look at you a lot?

[_Just_A_girl_]

Keep it professional before your Trappe with an ex

[cootjuhh]

every boy likes such an ass

[msc545]

ask him out.