Why guys behave hot and cold towards a girl even after he likes her?

Question

luke4568 · Accepted Answer

my experience: i’ve acted cold with a girl i liked. I felt something very intense about her. It wasn’t just a crush… i loved her and every flaw/quality she had, and when we traveled to Rome together (only me and her for an entire week… it was this March), i wasn’t that cold anymore. After that, i started being cold again.

I’ll tell you why. This girl was modeling (and still is), so she could easily get any guy she wanted. That means she constantly gets hit by guys. Even in Rome, lots of people complimented with us thinking we were a couple. Lots of guys kept telling me “you’re a very lucky guy… good luck!” and things like that.

Now, this is a particular case, considering she was an extremely attractive girl. But we all know most of girls can easily get a guy’s interest. The opposite is way more difficult...

To prove this point, simply look at dating apps: the amount that an average guy gets and the amount of likes that an average girl gets are totally incomparable.

Attracting a girl implies confidence, being at least a bit good looking and a lot of other factors. And, mostly of all, it implies time. In my experience, i’m order to attract a girl in a serious way, you also need to spend a lot of time with her (in certain cases, that’s not the case ofc). This argument can be partially used in the opposite case ofc… but still girls choose and guys accept the choice.

Having this said, if a girl gives you for granted, you’re just a friend. If you confuse her, if she can’t stop thinking and wondering about you, if she doesn’t give you for granted, that’s exactly what you wanted to achieve.

Being cold and affectionate at the same time confuses the other person. Don’t think girls don’t do that too. That’s a way to stick in a girl’s mind.

Shy_Steve · Accepted Answer

Usually us Guys usually don't know how to act when a Girl when a Girl likes us, That's why we can easily come off as Creepy or not Interested.

A lot of the time we do like you, But we don't know what to say or do.

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

Sounds like a man with lots of options. But none of those options know about each other.

MoniqueTLC · Accepted Answer

This should help;

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Because I'm not the sort of person who behaves this way, I'll pose the reverse question to you with the hope it provides the insights you're looking for; Why would a woman do the same to a guy she knows she likes?

I imagine that the reasons are the same.

DaySpring · Answer

Ignorance is why. They don't know any better. It really is that simple.
Once you start to think for yourself, you stop playing those games society told you to play. Of course there are other reasons to like bad intentions.

It's okay to be interested in someone. It's okay to want love. It's okay to want sex.
Society gives the impression that these things are bad and make you lesser.
As if having a strong desire for human connection is pathetic.
I considered a sense of urgency a good thing.

Dating for the most part is a bunch of ignorant people ruining it for themselves.
The answers to their problems are often very simple but we just don't think.

JPresidente · Answer

Usually means that he may be getting different vibes from the girl. Also could mean that he's busy and some days he is really into her and other days he might be sidetracked with work or school.

AdithyaR · Answer

Could be one of many reasons. Trauma Fear of commitment Insecurity Not that into the relationship There's lots of possibilities but the only he can tell you the reason. Talk to him.

Noahzaid · Answer

Because women are confusing which causes us to try different strikes. men always think that they are going to lose the girl, If they let themselves feel comfortable.

Anonymous · Answer

I was dating or talking to somebody was strictly friends and grew attachments she was married and grew attachments and she was hot and cold and she ended it a few weeks ago. Miss her to this day, she promised me she’d reach back out to me when the marriage ends, she feels like he won’t change but has to give it to the kids.

but hot and cold is probably because he has feelings for someone or with someone else and is playing the balancing act.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Trying to find the happy medium. Don't wanna appear to be too desperate, or coming on too strong. Also, want to avoid getting MeToo'd over something stupid.

"He batted his eyes at me, but he's only a 7! I'm gonna act like he's literally Weinstein!"

I can only take so much of that horse crap.

Anonymous · Answer

Nice guys are predictable and dependable... they finish last. When looking at the core reasons for most behavioral dysfunction concerning relationships or romantic connection, remember that toxic behavior is rewarded more than pleasant behavior.

Anonymous · Answer

God these people in the comment section are dumb. The reason is because she hurt him bad and he's heartbroken and in a lot of pain. This is the case 99% of the time. He distances himself so he won't get hurt again. The remaining 1% would be because he's bored and nothing to talk about. In either case he still loves her but he just has to protect himself also from getting hurt further by her.

ThinkFitness23 · Answer

He hasn’t mastered his own feelings enough and may come from an unloved childhood.

Vikkrram · Answer

Coz he doesn't know what you think about him. He don't know what's going inside your mind..

art84 · Answer

I wouldn't want to appear desperate for wanting her.

Anonymous · Answer

Because she behaves hot and cold. When I move you move/ just like that. When I move you move/ just like that.

genericname85 · Answer

maybe he doesn't know exactly whether he "likes" her enough yet to know what he really wants.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why girls behave hot and cold towards a guy even after she likes him.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

I had no idea other men do that. That's weird.

Isismoonie · Answer

Self sabotage because they don't believe they are a good fit for a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Because the moment a man shows kindness, respect and open communication with women is the moment she gets bored and wants to move on to another guy that fucks with her head.

Fuentes · Answer

Yes most people act like this but I am not hot n cold I probs just don't like you but that doesn't mean I wouldn't fuck

Anonymous · Answer

Some guys like to play games, but girls do the same thing.

Illustrator01 · Answer

Because if he was nice and gentleman you'd call him a SIMP

lightbulb27 · Answer

shame and fear, shyness.

boggboss · Answer

Most people act this way dating these days

melanieeeB · Answer

Cause he doesn't like her

Jamie05rhs · Answer

How do you know that he likes you?

User3191989 · Answer

We go based on what she does

grega239 · Answer

Because im just a friend to her.

In_Trance · Answer

clearly he doesn't like her that much

Anonymous · Answer

Coz they dont want true love in their life

ZenJen444 · Answer

He doesn't like you

Why guys behave hot and cold towards a girl even after he likes her?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why guys behave hot and cold towards a girl even after he likes her?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.