Why guys behave hot and cold towards a girl even after he likes her?

[Anonymous]

[luke4568]

my experience: i’ve acted cold with a girl i liked. I felt something very intense about her. It wasn’t just a crush… i loved her and every flaw/quality she had, and when we traveled to Rome together (only me and her for an entire week… it was this March), i wasn’t that cold anymore. After that, i started being cold again.

I’ll tell you why. This girl was modeling (and still is), so she could easily get any guy she wanted. That means she constantly gets hit by guys. Even in Rome, lots of people complimented with us thinking we were a couple. Lots of guys kept telling me “you’re a very lucky guy… good luck!” and things like that.

Now, this is a particular case, considering she was an extremely attractive girl. But we all know most of girls can easily get a guy’s interest. The opposite is way more difficult...

To prove this point, simply look at dating apps: the amount that an average guy gets and the amount of likes that an average girl gets are totally incomparable.

Attracting a girl implies confidence, being at least a bit good looking and a lot of other factors. And, mostly of all, it implies time. In my experience, i’m order to attract a girl in a serious way, you also need to spend a lot of time with her (in certain cases, that’s not the case ofc). This argument can be partially used in the opposite case ofc… but still girls choose and guys accept the choice.

Having this said, if a girl gives you for granted, you’re just a friend. If you confuse her, if she can’t stop thinking and wondering about you, if she doesn’t give you for granted, that’s exactly what you wanted to achieve.

Being cold and affectionate at the same time confuses the other person. Don’t think girls don’t do that too. That’s a way to stick in a girl’s mind.

[18Uma21]

You really made some psychoanalysis about it. But yeah, random and unexpected attention keeps the other person attached.

It makes them wanna have your attention more and they start working on it

[Shy_Steve]

Usually us Guys usually don't know how to act when a Girl when a Girl likes us, That's why we can easily come off as Creepy or not Interested.

A lot of the time we do like you, But we don't know what to say or do.

[dustybiker]

Sounds like a man with lots of options. But none of those options know about each other.

[MoniqueTLC]

This should help;

https://www.theloveconsultants.com/why-do-guys-go-hot-and-cold/

[Shayyyy1]

OMG i was dating a narcissist he tics all the boxes

[MoniqueTLC]

@Shayyyy1 Daamn, you're no longer with him now right?

[Shayyyy1]

Fortunately no

[FilmGuy93]

Because I'm not the sort of person who behaves this way, I'll pose the reverse question to you with the hope it provides the insights you're looking for; Why would a woman do the same to a guy she knows she likes?

I imagine that the reasons are the same.

[Shayyyy1]

they don't wanna appear easy? Wanna keep the guys on their toes?

[Asker]

Kinda playing hard to get

[FilmGuy93]

I’d say it’s probably more like being uncertain what the other person thinks than playing hard to get.

[DaySpring]

Ignorance is why. They don't know any better. It really is that simple.
Once you start to think for yourself, you stop playing those games society told you to play. Of course there are other reasons to like bad intentions.

It's okay to be interested in someone. It's okay to want love. It's okay to want sex.
Society gives the impression that these things are bad and make you lesser.
As if having a strong desire for human connection is pathetic.
I considered a sense of urgency a good thing.

Dating for the most part is a bunch of ignorant people ruining it for themselves.
The answers to their problems are often very simple but we just don't think.

[JPresidente]

Usually means that he may be getting different vibes from the girl. Also could mean that he's busy and some days he is really into her and other days he might be sidetracked with work or school.

[Asker]

Different vibes as in, not knowing what the girl thinks about him?

[JPresidente]

Yea. This. 👍

[AdithyaR]

Could be one of many reasons.
Trauma
Fear of commitment
Insecurity
Not that into the relationship

There's lots of possibilities but the only he can tell you the reason. Talk to him.

[Asker]

Yes that’s true that only he can tell me this no GAG guys lol

[Noahzaid]

Because women are confusing which causes us to try different strikes.

men always think that they are going to lose the girl, If they let themselves feel comfortable.

[Asker]

That’s true. I agree

[Anonymous]

I was dating or talking to somebody was strictly friends and grew attachments she was married and grew attachments and she was hot and cold and she ended it a few weeks ago. Miss her to this day, she promised me she’d reach back out to me when the marriage ends, she feels like he won’t change but has to give it to the kids.

but hot and cold is probably because he has feelings for someone or with someone else and is playing the balancing act.

[Jamie05rhs]

Don't mess with married people, you idiot!!

[Opinion Owner]

@Jamie05rhs wasn’t trying to or my plan it was just friends and it grew into more. Shit happens, life isn’t always black and white

[Jamie05rhs]

No, it did not "just happen.". You allowed it to happen.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Trying to find the happy medium. Don't wanna appear to be too desperate, or coming on too strong. Also, want to avoid getting MeToo'd over something stupid.

"He batted his eyes at me, but he's only a 7! I'm gonna act like he's literally Weinstein!"

I can only take so much of that horse crap.

[Anonymous]

Nice guys are predictable and dependable... they finish last. When looking at the core reasons for most behavioral dysfunction concerning relationships or romantic connection, remember that toxic behavior is rewarded more than pleasant behavior.

[Anonymous]

God these people in the comment section are dumb. The reason is because she hurt him bad and he's heartbroken and in a lot of pain. This is the case 99% of the time. He distances himself so he won't get hurt again. The remaining 1% would be because he's bored and nothing to talk about. In either case he still loves her but he just has to protect himself also from getting hurt further by her.

[Opinion Owner]

When she's in the same bed with another guy then that would make me cold towards her

[Opinion Owner]

Especially when i don't share my bed with anyone

[Asker]

I didn’t do anything to hurt him lol

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah you did

[Asker]

No I didn’t lol

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah you did!!

[tzdc21]

Well keep this in mind about men. A lot of times, when girlfriends do something stupid or something hurtful towards us, a lot of times, guys don't make a big fuss about it and tell you, but we store it in the back of our minds. So with that being said, just because he didn't TELL you that you did something wrong, doesn't necessarily mean that you DIDN'T do something wrong. Maybe you really didn't do anything wrong at all. Or maybe you did and he's just keeping quiet about it. I don't know, but I just wanted to make you aware of that.

[ThinkFitness23]

He hasn’t mastered his own feelings enough and may come from an unloved childhood.

[Vikkrram]

Coz he doesn't know what you think about him. He don't know what's going inside your mind..

[art84]

I wouldn't want to appear desperate for wanting her.

[Anonymous]

Because she behaves hot and cold. When I move you move/ just like that. When I move you move/ just like that.

[genericname85]

maybe he doesn't know exactly whether he "likes" her enough yet to know what he really wants.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why girls behave hot and cold towards a guy even after she likes him.

[Hardworkingguy]

I had no idea other men do that. That's weird.

[Isismoonie]

Self sabotage because they don't believe they are a good fit for a relationship.

[DaySpring]

Sometimes. I've seen my friend do that. I've seem him pass up so many girls that were too very beautiful and gave him nothing to reject them. His reasoning were always something he was insecure about never about the girls other than he viewed them to high in his own head.

[Anonymous]

Because the moment a man shows kindness, respect and open communication with women is the moment she gets bored and wants to move on to another guy that fucks with her head.

[Opinion Owner]

Also this video will help you understand why some guys that may general be interested act like this.

https://youtu.be/NTWhp8yRcMM

[Fuentes]

Yes most people act like this but I am not hot n cold I probs just don't like you but that doesn't mean I wouldn't fuck

[Anonymous]

Some guys like to play games, but girls do the same thing.

[Asker]

Especially when you know she is into you, you guys like to play right?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't, but yes, some guys do.