How is it that a guy can have all the confidence in the world with one girl and none with another?

[Anonymous]

(Assuming he likes them both)

[TheSpaceGnome]

Because the one that makes him nervous about screwing up, is the one he's afraid of losing. The other one is not his type, so if he loses her, its not a big deal.

[TheSpaceGnome]

it's funny, because you hear a lot of women say condifence is attractive in men, but in reality, is one if the biggest red flags ever if he's not a nervous wreck with you in the beginning.

[PinkRose24]

I wouldn't want the guy I like to be nervous. I hate anxiety. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. If anything I would try to make him feel as comfortable as possible.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@PinkRose24 All guys are initially nervous when trying to court a girl they have genuine feelings for. It only stops when she gives her answer, so if you don't want him to be nervous, then be open and upfront about your opinion of him as a potential partner, don't leave him guessing if you like him or not.

[Luopio27]

Dude, you are smacking some wisdom up in here.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Luopio27 I'm still confused why its not common knowledge tbh.

[PinkRose24]

Why are they nervous. Woman are just people.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@PinkRose24 because anyone who has a crush is going to be nervous about accidentally blowing their chance to have them as an SO.

[PinkRose24]

Not really. There's plenty of fish in the sea. If she says no then it's not meant to be and she not the one for you. Just move on.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@PinkRose24 You obviously don't have any idea just how insanely difficult it is to find a woman who is compatible enough to be worth dating. Its like finding buried treasure.

[PinkRose24]

Chill. Random guys I've met have had little to nothing in common with me and they still wanted to date me. 😂

[TheSpaceGnome]

@PinkRose24 those ones didn't/aren't going to work out though, so they don't count. compatibility matters for long term.

[PinkRose24]

They do count. Just say you can't control your emotions.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@PinkRose24 No, they don't count, attention without commitment is worthless.

But then i can actually control my emotions, so i don't waste time on flings.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No compatibility always leads to breakup.

[PinkRose24]

I didn't date them. My point was that they were nervous wrecks like you.

[PinkRose24]

Weren't

[Voldra]

Because he doesn't really care about the former but does the latter. Confidence is a code word for not caring. Emotionally invested in one but not the other.

[KelleyNice]

The first girl is homely so he doesn't care. The second girl is beautiful and other guys interested in her are better looking and have much higher incomes.

[PinkRose24]

Or the other girl doesn't make him feel comfortable cos they don't have anything in common.

[KelleyNice]

@PinkRose24 Could be.

[Phoenix98]

With familiarity and comfortableness comes confidence.

[Asker]

I have found that to be the opposite in my case, they are more comfortable in the beginning - they don't know me they have nothing to lose and when feelings start developing I start seeing the nervousness the tone of voice soften then sweating, fumbling their words..

[aaron210419]

Depends on the girls and his intentions I would imagine

[SnowedIn]

Girls can be intimidating or appear unreachable.

[Asker]

Would you opt to date someone you were less interested in for that purpose? Say the girl you really like is intimidating would you pass on her with someone who looks similar but was less appealing to you either emotionally or physically out of discomfort or fear?

[ArtemisSilver]

Sometimes you just don't vibe with someone.

[dustybiker]

Biology.

[Anonymous]

Says who?