He rejected me, but seeks my attention?

[Anonymous]

I asked my crush out, but he rejected me (very harshly), even though he really showed signs of liking me.

after the rejection I started to ignore him, but he always tries to catch my attention, for example he walks past me on purpose and makes loud sounds just so I can see him.

and when he is sure that I am looking at him, he just plays it cool and walks away. Or I talked once to another guy at school and he stared at the guy the whole time but not at me. I just don't get it. After the rejection we never spoke again, and we unfriended each other on social media.

[Anonymous]

Of course, because he can, and you'll respond. Women do this to men ALL THE TIME when they know they can. The ONLY thing you can do is ignore his existence. Then get a boyfriend. That'll be blow to his ego when he realizes he is not the center of your world. And don't be surprised if after that he starts chasing after you.

Humans are pretty silly when it comes to feelings of a romantic nature.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. So do you think he is actually interested and likes me or is it just a game for him?
So I will start ignoring him hopefully he will come back because I really like him 😬

[Opinion Owner]

At your age group it's really hard to tell. Most guys your age have a very simplistic view of love. I'd have to know him better to give a more accurate answer.

[Opinion Owner]

You'd be best served to move on from him IMHO. I get the heart wants what it wants. But the heart is usually pretty stupid. 🤣

[Asker]

Yes you are right. But it's so difficult because I see him almost every day :( and when i ignore him, he usually does something just so i look at him... and again I end up having hope 😂

[Opinion Owner]

Stop thinking about it defensively. Think about it offensively. Instead of thinking what he's doing to you. Think instead about what you're doing to him by ignoring him. You're icing him out. He's making himself look like a fool by trying to get the attention of a woman who isn't having ANY of it. This will Creep into his mind if you stay steadfast.
I've been there girl. I work with a woman who did the same thing to me. She had no interest in me, just my attention, and I was too stupid to see that. She rejected me when I asked her out. Then I had to work with her everyday. Which would have been tolerable if she didn't keep twisting the knife. I moved on (but like your guy) she wouldn't let me. A yr. Later and she would bring it up. Even though I didn't want to go out with her anymore. Luckily she took a sabbatical for a few months and that allowed me enough time to get my head straight. Sometimes you have to realize YOU are not the problem. Some people in this world are broken. And don't know how to treat other properly. If a person likes you (not love) LIKES, if they are a friend to you. They won't hurt you just to build thier own ego. That's NOT a friend. People who care about you don't do that stuff. If you take nothing else from this. Remember that!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Whatever he does to you, do it back, two can play the game.

[Asker]

What do you mean? So should I keep giving him attention?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :)

[Monalisa77]

Hey op can u read my qs?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is just making fun of you?

[Asker]

Oh 😥

[Watdsas]

What would u say were the signs?

[Asker]

He always stared at me, talked to me, his friend told me that he likes me etc. & he is quite a shy guy.

[Watdsas]

hm odd, maybe he is so shy he wasn't sure to say yes to you, but you say he was harsh? Harsh in what way?

It's definitely odd he still wants to get your attention, or so if he's as shy as you say

[Asker]

Well at first, he started denying flirting with me and was like: Me liking you? No no that's not possible.
But then i told him what his friend said to me, and he didn't know what to say and just walked away... few months have passed by and we never talked since then, but as said he still wants my attention.
And me and my friends really never ever saw him talking to any other girl. So yeah he is quite shy I would say.
I am really confused 😅 he knows that I like him so he can just approach me and talk, but no he just wants me to look at him and he plays it cool 😩

[Watdsas]

Sounds like he is more confused than you are honestly. "that's not possible", just walking away, then trying to get your attention. I have no idea whether he genuiely likes u or not but seems to be hiding something or at least very confused about something

[Asker]

Yes I guess you are right. Thank you for your opinion.
I should probably move on and forget him, but it's sooo difficult when he continues to look at me :(

[Watdsas]

I get it, yeah. I have a kinda similar situation with this girl at work that keeps coming to me all the time and seemingly flirting, but on some days she barely even looks at me. I wanna ask her out but so many things can go wrong from there, as I'm sure you were afraid of before doing the same thing. To make matters worse we ended up on her bed one time like a month ago after drinking but didn't do anything, since she was drunk and just had a breakup. Sometimes I feel I ruined it but she keeps coming back and grabbing my attention like your guy. I just have to rip the bandaid and find out

I hope you find peace. And might want to talk to him about his behavior, when it's a bit easier to

[Asker]

Well to be honest It was the same situation with this guy. One day he was flirting a lot, and other day he ignored me completely and didn't even look at me. I think you should make a move and just ask her out. What do you have to lose? You are more likely to regret the things you didn't do rather than the things you did. So if she says no, you can finally move on. And if she says yes, then congrats yey!🙂
There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings to another person. It takes a lot of courage, so props on you!
I asked my crush out, he declined and I am hurt and sad, but at the end of the day I do not regret anything. I did my best and tried, and so should you.
I am really not mad at him for rejected me, I can't force someone to like me.
I just hate it that he still seeks my attention after the rejection, like nobody does this 😢 It's so hurtful because I still have hope and can't move on.

[Watdsas]

" at the end of the day I do not regret anything"

I'm very glad to hear that, you're in a good head space at least

Yeah it must be annoying and hurtful he continues to do that, which like I said you should talk to him about. If you're friends even moreso, he should understand. Maybe he likes the ego boosting but that's shitty behavior that should be stopped. You have every right to be mad at that behavior, and it should be clear like you said that it's not because he rejected you but because of how he acts

You're right, I have nothing to lose and lots to regret later if I don't. I just gotta find the "moment' which has been hard. Props on you for actually doing it! I'm still in the process, lol. She's my friend, I think, and I'm always there for her and she for me, but I gotta find out

[Asker]

Yes, i actually wanted to ask him why he does this, but again I am not quite sure how he will react. He will probably deny everything just like the first time. I have a feeling he has problems with committing/expressing his feelings. Like he waited almost two-three months until he approached me for the first time because he didn't have the courage. It's all kinda weird and complicated. :(
And i wish you lots of luck I hope your situation ends better than mine. You are good friends, so I guess you will work this out. But she really shows signs of liking you, like I do the exact same things. Sometimes I ignore my crush and don't even look at him because:
1) I don't want him to think that I am so desperate about him
2) If i ignore you, you end up thinking more about me so that's always a good thing
3) sometimes girls ignore looking at their crush, because they are afraid that he doesn't feel the same

[Watdsas]

"I have a feeling he has problems with committing/expressing his feelings"

You can say that again! Seems kinda of childish too, more if you think he will deny everything again. Protect yourself here, you might like him and have a nice crush but something might be off with him and you don't want to get hurt beyond being sad. It's hard to start conversations that involve vulnerability but we really need to make them happen. I know I suck at it myself but you're already past step one :)

"But she really shows signs of liking you"

Sometimes I feel I overthink and I feel I exaggerate what she does and says, at others I miss the things she says and does and not realize until much later. Never a good middle ground for me

Interesting perspective on ignoring. Sometimes I walk past her and she doesn't look up until I say hi and then starts talking a lot. Or see her from a short distance and only looks when I look at her, then stare for a few seconds until she does something weird like start moving her head sidewards

I feel she was direct in bringing me to her bedroom but certainly hasn't said anything and could be afraid. I have to bring it up, I have to

[Asker]

Well girls usually like it when guys make the first move! So that could be the reason why she didn't say anything in the bedroom. I think she likes you because she shows signs, but then again there is always the possibility that the person is playing games and it's just an ego boost. But i understand you completely 100%, i always overthink everything. Like i can't do anything but think about this guy. This is not good for you and your mental health. So you have to have an inner peace and the only way is just to talk to her and ask her out. If it turns out that she just played games, sorry but you don't wanna be friends with her, because a good friend would never ever play with your feelings. But I really do think that she likes you! :)
And don't overthink it, just do it. You will never find the perfect moment, you have to make it yourself. If you overthink it, you will just make yourself more stress and eventually not even do it. It takes a lot of courage to express your feelings so you should be so proud of yourself!
And I guess she is single right?
p. s. do you really think I should talk to my guy again? Like I am not scared but I fear his denial once again. But on the other hand, when a person rejects you then they would try to ignore/avoid you or I am thinking wrong? Because he obviously wants my attention.

[Watdsas]

"there is always the possibility that the person is playing games and it's just an ego boost"

Yeah and that's scary. She's told me her biggest pet peeve is people lying to her, and her overall character from what she's told me and shown me (would never cheat, likes to set clear boundaries, glad that we're protective of each other) tells me she wouldn't "play games" but that possibility is always scary

Maybe she wants me to make the first move, yeah, the same way she made the first move when she asked me to drink. I really haven't done much more than suggesting we hang out at my place and her place, which I guess could be seen as "Friends"

I'll try (I will!) make a moment happen later next week when her parents are gone. Just bit the bullet. Gotta get her outside of work though, that would be way too awkward at work

" If you overthink it, you will just make yourself more stress and eventually not even do it"

Hey this is me for the past two months and my whole life!

She is single, yeah, broke up with her ex the day before she asked me out to drink. And has told me, not recently, that she's enjoying being single and just resting and home and being with her cats. Then gives me signs she wants something with me

[Watdsas]

YES you should talk to him. Clear the air on what is bothering you and at the same time yeah see if there's any chance of something between you two. Hopefully he does not continue to be immature about it, perhaps mention you want to have a serious conversation with him. "Serious" might be too much though.

Just don't give him any power over you. I'd start by asking/talking about his weird behavior. If that leads to something between you great but I really feel you should first address how he is acting around you. I'd think when a person rejects you they'd try to stay out of you way yeah, unless you were close friends and it wasn't reciprocated but handled in a mature way, which is not what I'm reading about your guy.

If you don't mind me asking, where do you usually see him?

[Asker]

Oh now that you say all this things about her... I am pretty sure that she likes you. Yeah you suggested her to hang out at your/her place, but as you said that's also something friends would do. Have you given her any other signs? For example: hug her, compliment her outfit or hairstyle, girls love this. we love to get attention from their crush! So you have to show her more signs

Well I see him at my college, we don't have any classes together but we still see each other pretty often. We go to the same library, and he know where I sit, so he even "stalks" me. He comes to my table and walks around until I notice him... and when he knows that I'm looking he just avoids looking at me. Why?
If I approach him I think I give him power so that's why I am scared to do this. And no we were not close friends. After the rejection we removed each other from social media; but he didn't block me, i don't know if that plays any role?

[Asker]

We didn't saw each other for 2 months, and after 2 months it's kinda still the same, like he still does things just for my attention. And I talked to another guy one day (he's just my friend, but he doesn't know that), my guy looked a lot at him. But avoided looking at me

[Watdsas]

"hug her, compliment her outfit or hairstyle, girls love this"

nope : "(

I'm ready bad at breaking that boundary, especially in public, even with partners at time. I do compliment her work and how great of a cat mom she is. She is always thankful when I say she is a great catmom but sometimes say "whatever" or "who cares" when I compliment her work- She doesn't like her job for the most part.

I guess I gotta ask her out for real, perhaps even use the word date to be clear. But I do feel I show her how I clarly feel about her and that I care for her much more than most people- I rarely interact with others.

He removed you from social media also or just you?

I feel like you don't give him power by approaching, especially if you want to talk about what he's doing. Letting him continue messing with your head gives him more power. It's been going on for a while and keeping an eye when you're talking with other guys is definitely notable. An uncomfortable conversation might be the best thing here, and he obviously won't like that, seeing as he walked away when you first talked to him, but it'll be the best if you want to get peace of mind

Have you tried to touch him when interacting with him? Human nature says a lot, if he's ok with it, if he recoils, if he looks at your hand or changes his/stance expression, all that could give answers too. This girl put her hand on my leg last week for a second and I just continued smiling at her but if it was someone I don't like I would recoil back usually

We both need to have uncomfortable conversations, and it's not easy but we need to find that strength :)

[Asker]

Well you should definitely compliment her more. Maybe try to hug her next time? ;) But I totally understand you, I rarely interact with others too, and that's why I have such strong feelings for this guy. I really hope she agrees to go out with you, I wish you this with all my heart. And sometimes I always just say "whatever" to compliments because I am kinda shy so I don't know what to say, so that's totally normal.

Soo he actually unfriended me after our "argument" where he just walked away. I have to say, i am quite surprised that he didn't block me, because after the rejection that's what I expected. Like if he doesn't want to have anything with me, it's the best when he blocks me or am i overthinking?
I actually put my hand once on his leg, but only for 1 sec, he looked at the hand and was surprised but didn't say anything about it really. At the end of this conversation he did fist bump me if that means anything.
I am soo confused

[Watdsas]

I'll try but it just feels so uncomfortable at work and outside of work is only when we say goodbye at the bus. Hug even more difficult I feel. I did hug her twice when we went to her house. But it's hard. Or maybe I'm just using excuses

Well he does seem to want to at least be around you for some reason so I get why not blocking you. And hey if he didn't block you perhaps this uncomfortable conversation can happen over the phone? Though it's easier for him to walk away from it that way. And really it should be clear that it is not right right to act that way, or at least explain why we walked out

Was that before or after rejecting you? If before, try it again if you do talk to him. Might clear some confusion that he is not saying with words

[Asker]

Well if her birthday is soon, it would be a great if you make something special for her, like give her some flowers and write her a letter.
There are plenty of things you can do, just so she can feel special. I have to say, if the man is not showing many signs, some girls give up quite quickly. I know it's very hard and it takes a lot of courage, but hey i believe you can do it. Do you text often? Maybe you can ask her out over the phone? If that's easier for you!

Well yes, I can talk with him over the phone, but I know he will make screenshots and send it to all his friends. So that's not such a good idea. You're right, it's kinda obvious that he wants to be around me, i just hope it's because he likes me, and not just an ego boost 😞
He was actually very shy when we talked and he always needed the courage from his friend just so he can talk to me. That's why I think he won't approach me because he doesn't have the courage and his friend is currently not in the city. Maybe he walks around me, so that I can beginn a conversation but like he is the one that rejected me, now it's his turn.
This whole thing makes me crazy and I can't stop thinking about him ☹️ Everyone says I should just move on, but that's so hard.
Do you think I should just ignore him? Will this intrigue him and make him want me more, or will he just give up? Or should I continue giving attention and maybe say Hello next time?

[Watdsas]

Woah that'd be shitty! Why do you think he's share screenshots with his friends? Has he done something like that or it that just an irrational fear? Cause that'd be a big red flag on him if he's done it. You're right that it's his turn but I'd give him another change since he's shy as you say, and maybe his friend not being there is stopping him too, but mostly I feel you should give him that impulse, and perhaps a chance to explain

Ignore him? No. If you want to play games, as he is seemingly doing, then sure, but you don't sound like the kind who does. Maybe it'd intrigue him more, it's a possibility, but going to him and giving him a chance to openly explain what he feels is much healthier

definitely say hello when you see him, make it a warm atmosphere :)

I rarely text her, she is a bad texter, her words, as am I as I ignore my phone most of the time and get overwhelmed by it and people. She did once sent me a thank you text for being such a good friend and always being there checking up on her- She was having a rough week. When she called me friend I felt bad but she has continued to do the things I've mentioned afterwards so.. I love your letter idea. She once gave me a short one at the end of the year. I really suck at making her feel special now that I think about it. I hope she doesn't lose interest :( it's been 2 months since her breakup and I guess she seems ready, I am too. I've been slow and like I said not making her feel special. I need to change that already dammit

[Asker]

Well I think he will share screenshots, because after he rejected me, he told all his friends about it. I don't know. We actually never texted, he is a very very bad texter. We only talked in person.
And yes I don't wanna play games like him because at the end I will just get hurt. But it's kinda hard to find a good moment where I can talk with him. I am afraid that he will reject me once again and that will just break me. I am not ashamed to say that I like him, I just don't wanna give him any power... But on the other hand, why would he do all these things and want my attention if he doesn't like me... i hope i am just not overthinking or interpreting everything false.

I understand you completely. I also don't use my phone that much and get overwhelmed by it.
Oh and don't worry that she called you friend. I mean you are just friends right now. So she can't say anything more than that even though she likes you. And her saying thank you means quite a lot. That means she respects and appreciates you, and that's a veryy good thing! don't worry about being slow, take your time and do it as you think is the best for you. But please just make sure you do not regret anything at the end. What did she write in her letter?
p. s. you leaving her 2 months after her breakup ist a very good thing, you showed her that you don't wanna rush into anything and that always a very good sign that a man likes you and doesn't want anything platonic. 👍

[Watdsas]

If you feel he will share that with friends then don't text him, that's a serious boundary crossing and sadly another redflag on him. Not something you have to bring up with him now but keep it in the back of your head.

And I hear you about finding a moment, but if he's regularly coming to your spot in the library maybe ask him to there to talk, or perhaps step outside since it's a library, lol. Tell him you want to talk about something in private Where did you talk to him last time? Maybe if it was more public that's why he reacted that way?

You shouldn't be afraid to say you like him, but at the same time you shouldn't be afraid or clearing you doubts with him. Have an honest, open conversation about you wanting to be closer to him and him reacting badly, and how that made you feel. But ease into it

Overthinking really kills but there's always some truth in there I think. Like you said, he keeps being around you and there's a reason for that. Overthinking might be the possible reasons but the fact he keeps coming is factual. Finding the reason, though, will only be through talking with him, unfortunately- It's hard but we gotta do it!

[Watdsas]

I figured about the use of friend but it did shock me that day. I hope I'm not tooo slow that she loses interest. I panic when she doesn't come to talk to me much.

So you made me look for the letter and, geez, I am an idiot. I remember not thinking much of it, though I kept it, I was with someone else last December after all and she was starting to see the guy she broke up with. We had been working together for about just a few months. It reads:

"You're such a kind soul, I am so thankful to have met you and get to know you. Thank you for always bringing me home! I hope you have a great Christmas break and see you next year! Love Always, -REDACTED-"

I've never done anything to make her feel special besides being there for her. At this point I'm surprised she doesn't hate me. She's the greatest and I rarely acknowledge that. I really need to talk to her. I'm gonna seriously regret it if I don't :(

[Asker]

Hey! Sorry I was quite busy this week so I couldn't answer you! Did you finally talk to her? Are there any news?
So many things have happened this week between me and this guy! 🥹 I wanted to send you a private message but I can't, so i followed you.

[Watdsas]

Hey! That's odd, probably because you're anonymous. I'm assuming you're the last one who followed me so I'll answer there :)

[Anonymous]

What's your boobs size?

[Asker]

Why does this even matter

[Opinion Owner]

It's matter

[Asker]

Not small but what does this change fr

[Opinion Owner]

I asked size...

[Sour-rose]

this n*gga here, right? omfg. Anyways, not to intrude but this guy you're talking about must be a coin. One side- he hates you. Other side-he wants you. And as long you give him what he wants, he'll keep doing it. Because it's like feeding a cat, give them food outside your door and they'll be back in the morning.

[Asker]

@Sour-rose thank u sooo much for your opinion. I always try to move on, but then he comes back and seeks my attention so I always end up hoping and wishing we start talking again. I'm so confused

[Opinion Owner]

I know what is going on his mind... I did this many times. But it's k no worries bye girls ✌️

[Asker]

Then please tell us 😂

[Asker]

Please tell us what's going on his mind I am so Curious 😂

[Opinion Owner]

😂😂😂 you're cute

[Asker]

Please just tell me 😂😂

[Opinion Owner]

Nah I asked you one question you didn't answer so I'm not gonna say anything 😂😂