Is it ok my boyfriend drinks every Saturday?

[Anonymous]

every Saturday he gets drunk with his mates

Today when i said:bye babe have a nice weekend. Ill send you a message later😘

He said:If i dont answer im drunk... just so you know. I shouldn't drink tho... but every time i meet with David we get drunk until 3a. m

How to react?

[Pyrofox]

Just tell him that if he shows up at the your flat drunk as hell your giving him 2 gallons of water a loaf of bread and some blankets and pillows to go pass out in the corner XD. And watch him get flush over all his drunk bro stories XD. And if he's like why in the corner just be like I'm not having ya face plant on my floors and like suffocate on your vomit. OwO.

Though if he's getting drunk to a point he's wasted... He should like reevaluate how he spends his weekends.

[jayhams]

Physically that isn't healthy. If he doing everything else right in life and it doesn't have a negative impact I'd say let him go for it. Me and my mates drank all the time together before everyone started having kids.

[Asker]

His kid is 22...

[Anonymous]

How to react? Just say ok, have fun, and go about your plans. It’s one night out of the week for a few hours with his friend, not sitting around the house getting trashed through the week — that would be concerning. I know your worries are out of caring, but he’s an adult, he can make his own choices and it’s his body.

[Asker]

Yeah but when his body gets fucked im the one suffering lol
Im the one who gets plans cancelled and no sex
Because he feels like shit after this nights with the boys

[Opinion Owner]

Well you said it’s every Saturday night right? Then if I were you I wouldn’t make plans with him for Sunday, unless he feels up for it and initiates it himself. As for the sex, I don't know how regularly you two do it but one day without it doesn’t sound terrible, and that’s coming from someone who wants to do it several times in the week lol. Relationships are about compromise, as you know, and you’re not going to agree with every choice but Being upset and guilting him about it won’t do anything but put you in a worse mood, especially when he won’t stop doing that thing. Like I said, it’s one day out of the week for a few hours and I’m assuming most or all of the other days are yours. It sounds fair.

[Asker]

we have sex maybe 4 times per month... not more
only on weekends

[Asker]

i dont live with him i live in another city with my mom so it difficult for us
also we work 10 h. together everyday at the same mall

[Opinion Owner]

Gotcha, that’s my bad for assuming you two either lived together or saw each other often, I just saw the age range you are in and usually couples are in a different place, no offense of course. Honestly it sounds like your relationship in itself is what’s difficult, not just his drinking once a week. When the only time you get to have dates, be intimate and all that is only weekends, but one of those nights is for his friends then to me that’s a bit of an issue. I understand his position, only having the weekends to have fun and he wants to spread his time between you and them, but I understand your frustrations absolutely as well. Is there some sort of compromise that can be found? Maybe you have a Friday night and/or Sunday date, hang out Saturday Day then at night he can hang with his friends?

[Asker]

we try to spend some day in the middle of the week together
but after work it only gives time to go have dinner come home see netflix and sleep
too tired to do more
our work is very hard and takes all our time, we met and started dating at work
i want to spend mor time with him but for example he gets home by 8.40 at 9.30 o 10 he goes to sleep
... and this is how we live during 5 days of the week
we start work at 10 am
so yeah i wanted to have weekends for us more often
he had traumatic, very horrible life with his ex
he said in the past he needs space
also he has some dpressive issues some days
he is difficult guy with difficult past full of addictions and prison and mafia world
so yeah...

[Opinion Owner]

That’s a lot girl, do you at least have plans to move in together or some other arrangement? My current boyfriend had this same sort of thing going on, he only gets 1 day off a week, no holidays and usually has crazy hours to where he goes in at 10 and gets off at 11p or 1a. But after talking to him a few months back about needing more time together, we’ve worked things out to where we see each other more, and have created a solid plan to move in together next year.

[Asker]

he is expecting his inheriitance... where he gets money (about 100k) he will most likely find another house the life will be different, maybe then we can talk about moving together
not now, his flat is small and i dont like it
id take him home but my mom lives with me, we dont have lots of money
in ideal worlkd id rent a house for us both but i can't for now
its so weird
you know sometimes i get jelly of his ex... when he met her i mean
he said they met and after 8 month dating they moved to live together
while i work with him 4 years... he liked me since first months basically. we date for 1 year and 7 month
and we are in this situation
also i hate when he gets with his old friends they are drug traffic people

[Opinion Owner]

That would be good! Hopefully it all works out so you can have the change to look forward to, that’s assuming you decide to stay with him. I’m the mean time, maybe you two can form some sort of compromise. For instance, maybe when he goes out on Saturday nights he could not get completely wasted to where he is bedridden on Sunday. I know you’d rather him not hand with them at all but asking him to forego guys night entirely I think is something he’d be unwilling to do, mostly because it doesn’t sound like he has any other times to hang with them, and if they are important in his life then he should be able to have a night with them. My boyfriend sees his friends once a week as well, he goes over for a couple hours then back to me.

[Asker]

Back to you... mine doesn't

[Opinion Owner]

That’s fine if he doesn’t, I was just giving an example of a fair compromise. I don't know if he can go to you after hanging out with his friends, but asking him if he could at least not get so wasted that Sunday he is stuck in bed. Otherwise I do feel like it’s a problem if you’re barely getting any weekend time with him and that’s all you can rely on. Yes hanging out with his friends can be a priority, but his relationship with you should be the bigger one.

[Opinion Owner]

*isn’t stuck in bed is fair

[Asker]

He was until 3 at bar and then he and another friend called David... who is 28 and my boyfriend is 44
Went to his flet and were smoking pot and talking until 6. am.
How do you like this?
Not sure if he is for real
Or he mocks me

[Opinion Owner]

So he’s at the bar until 3, then up smoking until 6am? No wonder he’s so exhausted the next day. Personally I don’t like it and would be very upset. It’s one thing if he hung out with his friends and drank for a couple hours then went home, but he’s up partying all night pretending he’s 28 and that’s not ok. You’re almost 35, is this the sort of man you want to start a life with? Don’t you want someone in a better position and who treats you like a priority?

[Asker]

Idont k now what to say
I love him
But how can i be priority?

[Asker]

Lol we saw this David at supermarket
They barely talked
I thought the would chat more since he even spent Saturday night with him

[Opinion Owner]

They probably didn’t talk more since they just saw each other, I think girls are more keen to stop and chat longer, men can be pretty short lol and as for how to be a priority, after two years, you shouldn’t have to tell him how to do it, he should just want to. It’s really lame that he doesn’t. But in this case, not getting completely shit faced on Saturday night then staying up and smoking weed until 6 in the morning would be a good start. Then he can actually do something with you on Sunday. That way, you aren’t asking him to sacrifice his guy night, but just consider you for the next day. If he can’t do that then honestly I worry that he’s being dishonest about what he does all night. Seriously there’s no good reason why he can’t either get home at a decent time or just not get so wasted.

[Asker]

He was party animal when younger, drugs involved
Now he is clean and "nearly"changed lifestyle but this old frined moved to live near him... and thisweekends started
We had a huge argument a minth ago. he did the same and cancelled me on Sunday saying he is not good company too many drinks
It was on Sunday, on Tuesday we had free day and met
And talked, i told him how irresponsible and stupid it was
And how he destroys his healths and doesn't care aboyt me
He started to say sorry... to kiss my feet
To say im too smart for him... to say lets go shopping you can buy whatevwr you want ill pay
He agreed about fucking up his health.
He was ok for a month
This satyrday again he met this groups of friends
He even said
They bribe me giving me mon ey for drinks
He always plays the victim, i hate it

[MementoMori777]

Seems like he has it controlled to a certain extend and if it doesn't effect the relationship or his life in general then I guess the decision is his and it's only going to effect him

[Asker]

Couple of times it affected our plans i was pissed

[MementoMori777]

Then you should talk to him about it

[slatyb]

How do you feel about spending every weekend alone?

[Asker]

bad how will i feel?

[Redstang88]

That’s what weekends are for

[Asker]

I dont like that he drinks his health is shit already

[Asker]

Is ut good sign he is open about his weekend plans?
From male point of view... what it tells you about him

[Anonymous]

dump him

[Asker]

Why would i?