Should I marry a guy who drinks every weekend?

[Anonymous]

I've been with this guy for a year and I knew he drinks during some family functions or occasions. But recently he told me that he likes to drink every weekend and out of concern I advised him not to drink. I myself have never touched drinks so I don't like when someone drinks as it doesn't prove to be beneficial in a long run. When asked if he can stop drinking he replied with a straight no in fact he mentioned that he wants to drink heavily some day. On the one hand I'm worried for his health as he already has a tummy bulging out and on the other hand I'm worried about the consequences his drunk state will bring. What should I do now? Should I marry him? Is it possible to get a man who doesn't drink nowadays?

[Oliverlogan263]

Here's what I think:

I definitely wouldn't recommend marrying this guy if he's drinking heavily every weekend and isn't willing to cut back for you. That's a red flag. A few beers here and there is one thing, but getting drunk regularly isn't good.

A few things to consider:

- His drinking will likely get worse over time if he doesn't address it. That could cause lots of health and behavioral problems down the line.

- Marriages are about compromise. If he's not even trying to cut back for your comfort, that's selfish and won't lead to a balanced relationship.

- You don't drink yourself, so you'll constantly be disagreeing on this issue. That builds resentment fast.

- What happens if you have kids someday? Is he gonna be pounding brews while you're parenting alone? Not a good father image.

I'd have a serious talk with him about your concerns. If he brushes them off, that tells you where his priorities are. You deserve a partner who respects your values too. There are definitely dudes out there who don't feel the need to drink heavily on the regular. Don't settle for less than that, sis! You got your whole life ahead, don't hitch yourself to someone who won't even TRY to be what you need. That marriage won't end well, trust me. Stay strong - you'll find someone way better who treats you right!

[Staximus]

The fact that you have never spent the weekend with him (especially while he drinks) means you don't know shit about him really. Maybe you should get to know somebody better before you think about marrying them. It sounds like you are thinking about marrying a guy you don't really know and that's really stupid.

[Explorer91]

Well I have always lived in major cities. This is common amongst city people. Drinking on weekends in 20s and 30s is common. Most people I know drink most weekends.

If it is a problem for you, then you might have to go to a couples counselling session. He probably likes alcohol but also uses it as a coping mechanism for his problems. So there are two things at play here.

[Anonymous]

If i were you , I won't marry him. You can't guess the state he'd be in after getting heavily drunk and in future, what if his addiction grows more worse so u should make sure that you won't regret it later. Also You can't be sure about the person u marry if he drinks or not unless untill he tells u the truth himself before.

[IslaTheWitch]

I think you have already answered your question. All your concerns are valid.

Now you have to make a decision, and with this, we can't, unfortunately, help you.

[Darklydarkened]

Stay away from him, not because he's bad or anything, you'd be nothing but a bore around him.

Jesus christ, what bubble you've been living in?

[Jmmmfi4]

I DON'T KNOW... IF HE'S NOT AN ALCOHOLIC YET HE CAN BECOME ONE