Why do some men enjoy future faking?

[ChicanaChick]

I've been lately reading about this a lot. It's about these men that are in a relationship and purposely string along women, promise to form a family one day but it's a lie the whole time.

I understand the girl is at fault too for letting it drag on for too long. But now I want to focus on the man that's lying to them. Why do they enjoy doing that?

Updates

+1 y

If he wanted sex, then how about get it on with girls that are into casual relationships. Why look for serious-commitment type women?

[FilmGuy93]

That's an interesting question. If I had to guess, I would think it's because the man knows he is happy with how things are and doesn't want that to change, and he's hoping that the woman will come around and content herself with what makes him happy.

I'm sure there are men who enjoy being deceptive and wasting women's time, but I think most men are just doing it because their present situation makes them happy, and they want to hold onto that.

[ChicanaChick]

The ending of your first paragraph says it all. It's what makes HIM happy. It's all aobut himself, his needs, his wants... never a thought about her, about the other person.
He knows he has all the time but the woman doesn't.. yet doesn't care. 100% selfishness

[FilmGuy93]

Selfishness definitely plays a part of it. Maybe the guy thinks he can meet her needs without the formal wedding? I'm not sure.

[Anonymous]

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[ChicanaChick]

What does this have to do with my question?

[Opinion Owner]

Wrong question. I believe men fake it with women with no intention of getting serious to either get them into bed or to continue having sex as long as possible because they know if they tell the woman the truth there would be no chance of sex or continuing to have sex.

[ChicanaChick]

pretty much it, which means they're being totally selfish. It's all about them and their own needs, never about considering the other person's feelings and wants.
The thing is there are still girl that want the same thing they want; those are the girls that are into friends with benefits (no strings attached).

[ChicanaChick]

they should be going after those girls

[Opinion Owner]

Very few of those girls around and I know from experience that a woman in a friends with benefits relationship always ends up getting hurt when she catches feelings and he doesn't feel the same or moves on with another in a committed relationship

[Opinion Owner]

But a horny guy will say and do anything for sex.

[kylee2437]

Because most women want future anything and it’s also hard to get sex with those girls that do, so they will future fake her out. It recently happened to me and it sucks but it also taught me that I need to further tighten up my boundaries because if I waited even longer I don’t think he would’ve stayed

[ChicanaChick]

Yet I'm sure there are women (usually the party girls) out there that only want casual sex and friends with benefits (no strings attached).. they should go after those girls and leave the commitment/marriage-minded women alone.

[kylee2437]

Those are too easy for them lol there’s way too many people out here that are addicted to the chase of getting people, and I also think people think that addiction makes them think they want a relationship when in reality they just like the feeling of chasing someone new

[SteveSmith1985]

Does this really happen? I'm not sure where you're reading this, but I've never seen someone do this. Not once. Not ever. Is this something that you've experienced?

Because you're right... this wouldn't make any sense. At all. For any man. Nobody would do this purposely. What would a man possibly have to gain? I don't even understand what his motivations could conceivably be. This... doesn't happen in real life

[ChicanaChick]

Nope it has never happened to me but did to two of my friends.

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm gonna say: This was THEIR interpretation of what happened. Not actually what happened. 🙂

[Sixgunsound]

Not that I support or agree with this tactic, but women who are looking long term tend to play less games and are just generally more pleasant and easier to be around. I agree with your assessment that he is being selfish and only concerned with getting his needs met.

[DoctorSex]

Because women fall in love with what they hear and men fall in love with what they see... Apparently.

So I guess to answer that question you'd have to ask yourself why women wear padded bras, corsets, fake nails, hair, makeup.

And I think the answer is Mating Strategies.

[DoctorSex]

Equally I believe there are times a man genuinely wants to marry her, but after thinking she's got him in the bag (after his commitment and sex), a female drops the good girl act and reveals her true face, which turns the man off.

In response she believes he led her on the whole time, when In truth she led him on. This particular situation I've been in myself.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[ChicanaChick]

In that case, wouldn't the decent thing be for the man to break up, not be stuck in a relationship with a woman he now doesn't sees as marriage material..

[DoctorSex]

I hope I don't come across as making this a man Vs woman issue. But a woman once told me that ladies don't jump out of relationships, they look for another boat to sail by and jump ship.
This is how many many women operate so degenerate mindsets aren't exclusive to one gender and I'd argue that women stay in relationships that they know they aren't invested in, far longer than men do.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[Anonymous]

To get pussy. That’s what it all comes down too. Men know women want to hear this type of bs. She’s more likely to get emotionally involved, to let her guard down by hearing all this stuff that she’s willing to give it up. Most women won’t have sex w a man unless she’s involved emotionally.

[ChicanaChick]

It's all about him in the end, his time, his needs, his wants... selfishness to the fullest

[Jamie05rhs]

Because they're selfish. Plain and simple. They will use a woman to get whatever they want from her.

[ChicanaChick]

yeah it's all about them and their needs, all about themselves... lack of consideration for others or what makes others happy

[ChicanaChick]

There are several women that are into friends with benefits (no strings attached), perhaps they can go after them instead of stringing along marriage-minded women

[Jamie05rhs]

@ChicanaChick Yeah, but the problem is those women might not want to stay with those guys long-term. So that would be too much work for the guy because then he has to go out and find someone else.

The point is these guys just want to have their cake and eat it too. They want all of the benefits of a long-term relationship with none of the responsibility.

[ChicanaChick]

yeah they aren't real bfs, they're just friends with benefits men (aka serial daters) disguised under the fake title of ''boyfriend''. If a boyfriend ever asked me to move in with him, my answer would be a big fat NO. I don't fall for that and much less would I be motivated to provide free cooking services for a mere boyfriend, lol.
It's so funny that I'm able to see their BS so fast. It's sad many women fall for that and waste their years on those fake ''bfs''.

[Jamie05rhs]

@ChicanaChick You're a smart woman.

[exitseven]

Maybe they are trying to decide if they really want to spend the rest of their lives with a woman. Maybe the relationship is good but there is something that is just not right about it.

[ChicanaChick]

I guess but if the relationship has been going on for 4+ years, it's unlikely to move forward. If he has to still think about it after several years of being with her, then he should walk away by then. It's not a good sign.

[exitseven]

Sometimes the guy stays in a bad relationship because he thinks she will change.

[spartan55]

@ChicanaChick
Why is it up to him to walk away. You are pretending that the girl can't dump him and move on.

[ChicanaChick]

@spartan55
It's up to either of them to walk away. If the girl won't do it herself, then the decent thing would be for him to do himself and set her free.

[spartan55]

@ChicanaChick
Yeah, I suppose... 🙄

[bean2k21]

All the women I know don't spend their time reading so much anti-male crap articles. Instead, they commit their lives to the gospel of Bean2k21 and the rewards of obedience.

[spartan55]

Why is it necessarily a lie? Sometimes relationships don't work out, regardless of promises.

[ChicanaChick]

I'm referring to those that deliberately promise the girl a future, keep up with it and even gives her a false date. Then when the girl mentions the promised date, they make up excuses and extends the date futher, giving her another false date, another lie.

[spartan55]

That's a pretty specific situation you are talking about.

[spartan55]

Who says they 'enjoy' it?

[ChicanaChick]

A narcissist would enjoy it and not care one bit about wasting the girl's time.

[spartan55]

I suppose, but again you are talking about a very specific person considering 5% of the male population has NPD. So, not really.

[BeyondBirthday]

Usually it is so they can keep the women around, we also don't like to always take risks with hoes so to go for a girl who wants to be serious is sometimes the better option.

[ChicanaChick]

So basically the method is to a selfish, trashy human but hey as long as they're getting their needs met, why not!!!
It's sad more of these trashy people are breeded each year and less kind people with no games.

[BeyondBirthday]

Have more self respect and you wouldn't get used by people like me.

[ChicanaChick]

I already have self respect, live on my own and don't need to move to a man's house (no motivation once we have our own house and a comfortable life).
What's lacking is more parents teaching their kids to respect others, to not grow up users.

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women wear fake eyelashes, makeup, get fake tits, fake asses, fake lips, eyebrows, wear compression everything, lie about their weight, job, body count, etc…

People lie to get what they want.

[ChicanaChick]

It's a sad world indeed. It would be good if everyone was straight to the point. I can be brutal when it comes to honestly, that's my only flaw, be straight forward. For instance if I'm not interested at something, I'll just say not interested period, no sugarcoating nor misleading, not interested.

[Jackblue]

The women into short term stuff without the promise of something bigger later on are often hard to find.

[ChicanaChick]

Yes they're harder to find but they exist. It's still terrible lying to people just to get sex.

[LiamJHayden]

They probably want the girls as long as possible, just not with a legal entanglement.

[ChicanaChick]

which is still selfish... they need to find their female equivalent, a girl that just wants to date

[Anonymous]

For the same reason that women like to string men along, wait till he makes a move then reject him. You women have your games unfortunately and unfortunately we have ours.

[barn_stormer]

they probably do it because they don't want a family but want the woman to stay with them

[ChicanaChick]

Wouldn't it be easier if they find a woman that doesn't want marriage nor kids? Or simply continue having sex with women that are interested in casual relationships.

[ChicanaChick]

They should stop seeking commitment/marriage-minded women, leave them alone.

[barn_stormer]

no, it's easiest with the girl they already have

[ChicanaChick]

yet all he's thinking of is himself and his needs. It's all about him. He has all the time but the girl doesn't.

[barn_stormer]

pretty much. that's probably why leonardo dicaprio only dates younger than 25. let's teh older chicks go off and get married

[ChicanaChick]

It's a disappointment in society. More liars, more narcissists, more users, more ruined women because of them and less good people out there.

[barn_stormer]

it's not that bad. it's just a response to the high rate of divorce rape that happens to men these days.

[ChicanaChick]

So innocent people that never did you any wrong, deserved it too because of the rotten apples? How about just being upset with the specific individual that wronged you but don't put everyone in one bag?

[ChicanaChick]

If one man wrongs me, that doesn't mean I get to take actions against all men.

[barn_stormer]

it's like 50% rotten apples. that's literally half of all women.

[ChicanaChick]

that still leaves with 50% good apples. Why should the good apples pay the price of the bad ones?

[barn_stormer]

nobody said life was fair

[ChicanaChick]

So you're ok with innocent (good apples) people getting lied and used?

[barn_stormer]

I don't get worked up about it. worse stuff happens in the world.

[Guffrus]

@ChicanaChick The long and the short of it is that you want to make other people responsible for your actions.

You frame yourself as a victim of evil lying men when the reality is that you are not taking responsibility for your own life and your own situation.

If things are not moving forwards at a pace that you are happy with it is 100% your fault for sticking around, it is no good blaming someone else.

[ChicanaChick]

@Guffrus
Actually I'm not the one in that position and never was but I've had 2 friends that fell for that trap. I recalled advicing them to ditch the loser and they still stayed for another year until eventually dumping him.

[Guffrus]

Well actually it doesn't alter the fact that you are a complete cunt because look at the language you are using.
These guys are fucking losers according to you.
What part of they are not fucking responsible for making choices for your friends dont you get?

[ChicanaChick]

@Guffrus
Well I learned one of my friends has been giving her boyfriend money. Asking/relying on people for money makes anyone a loser.

[Guffrus]

Just keep digging.

There is no hole so deep that you will escape the point.

[ChicanaChick]

@Guffrus
Digging for what? I have a comfortable life, I'm financially stable and have my own assets. I don't even need to be a live-in girlfriend; have little to no motivation to even cook for bfs and yes I can cook good. Usually the girls that move in with him don't have their own house. Otherwise why would we need to move in to the man's house?
That would make me better than golddiggers don't you think? So now, I have a point to judge. If I was a girl that had no job, nothing else to offer at all, no skills, doesn't even cook then ok you can call me out on it.

[Summeroflove]

Because they’re liars.

[LazerBean]

Because they want to, they can, and it's easy.

[Revvl6pro]

The best of both worlds?

[LimitedBenefits101]

Because they can