Why it looks like that some guys are scared of love?

[Anonymous]

[SteveSmith1985]

What a simple... yet deeply profound and complicated question you've asked here.

I don't know if you realize quite how huge a question this really is.

First of all, I'm not one of those dudes who is scared of love. So I'm not speaking first-hand here. But I am... pretty good at observing people, and "read" guys and guy-related situations for girls all the time. But, this isn't insight from a guy who feels this way. It's important to remember that.

There are SO many different reasons different guys might be scared of love. SO MANY different reasons. Everything from never having been properly loved themselves growing up; to having some messed-up attitudes about what "being a man" is all about, or ideas about what women "really actually want" in a man; to a fucked-up dynamic between his own mother and father and on and on and on. There are way too many different reasons to possibly give any accurate picture of. It's going to be very different reasons for different guys. There is really no answer to this that's shorter than like... a college course.

BUT

Do you want to know something? MOST guys are NOT afraid of love. They really aren't. Even a lot of the guys who pretend to be that way... are absolutely not really afraid of love. They want nothing more than to find the right person and fall in love (even if they'd rather die than admit it).

There is a certain pressure to be "free from all that feminine shit, like feelings" for a lot of guys. Especially guys who aren't the top-tier popular guys. The ones who feel more pressure to "fit-in". Guys DO often act like idiots when they're around other guys. There's a lot of putting on an act involved. Pretending to be more one-dimentional than you really are.

Now, don't get me wrong... SOME guys are genuinely "afraid of love". I'm not trying to discount that. That is definitely "a thing." It's just... not as prevelent as it might seem to be to you. I bet you would be shocked if you knew how a lot of the guys you know actually feel. If you could see what some of these hard, tough guys turn into when they're alone with their girlfriends. You'd understand that... a lot of the guys you THINK are this way. Aren't really.

Often you just need to break through their emotional guard and get them to trust you enough to show you a bit of vulnerability. Feelings are vulnerabilities many guys are taught (or feel social pressure to) to hide. But there still there most of the time. That includes how a guy really feels about love. 🙂

[Finchie40]

They hear and read about all of the horror stories about relationships and have a hard time trusting it , Social media played a big part on destroying people’s minds and how people look at things , every time I go on Tik Tok. There is some stupid meme that if your partner is doing this to you they are cheating on you as an example so most people assume the worst case scenario when really it’s garbage , not everyone is a cheater not everyone is a backstabber , but one thing that most people have inside themselves well we all have inside ourselves is selfishness , if you can’t remove selfishness from yourself for your partner , they aren’t going to be able to remove it for you so most guys don’t want to get into a relationship with girls these days because they feel a girl is selfish and only cares about herself , and most girls assume Guy’s are selfish and only care about themselves , so it’s harder for people to trust each other now a days

[es20490446e]

The most common fears for me are the ones that I find more frequent:

- Her personality to be actually quite bad. Usually that she has narcissistic traits.

- Her being defensive for reasons not related with me. For example not embracing the simple fact that people like sex.

My choice is to always act as if the other person didn't have those.

[Anonymous]

Because they are. They probably aren't very experienced. Although they may want a relationship, there own insecurities stand in there path.

[Anonymous]

Because that's what you'd like to believe. So even if it doesn't exist, that's what your mind creates.

[Anonymous]

Not scared of love, scared of modern women and relationships with them.

[Zabuza]

Could be because of commitment issues.

[dean53AU]

Maybe been in a bad relationship or two?

[Anonymous]

Mostly guys only desire sex.