Why did he say this, does he want more than to be friends?

[Anonymous]

I really need advice with this pls- so this guy and I have been friends for years now and when we first met he told his friends I was hot and he thought I’d make a great girlfriend etc. He knew I liked him but he denied feeling anything and he moved away so now we are friends again…he is happy to talk to me/reply to my messages and I said to him it’s hard to be just friends- so he said ‘I’m happy to do whatever works best for you xx’.
Im still in the friendzone or maybe not? Any help would be good…especially given he sent kisses knowing how I feel about him?

[WaterIsland]

Well first of all, sounds like you need to work out the long distance piece of this. It sounds like long distance is a dealbreaker, so that needs to be worked out first.


But here’s how I view it. You told him how you feel and what you’re thinking. He responded with a super generic message, basically putting the ball back in your court without serving it back. He didn’t tell you how he’s feeling. He didn’t even really acknowledge what you said. He gave you absolutely no substance or information. Finally, he’s wrong about doing whatever you want. In a relationship, both people need to be dedicated or it won’t work. It can’t be one sided. Which is what his message feels like.


I’d view his response as a red flag because of everything I just said. That being said, it’s plausible he is just really bad at feelings and communication. So if you want, you could give him another chance. But in order to do that while protecting yourself, you have to hold his feet to the fire a bit. He has to at least match what you’re putting into the situation. He didn’t do that here. You could start by telling him that you told him how you feel, but he didn’t tell you how he feels. If he doesn’t say then that he likes you or is attracted to you, I’d cut my losses and move on. He clearly isn’t matching your effort. And what happens long term when something major happens where you both need each other? Are you gonna be dealing with the entire issue yourself without him meeting you half way? I know personally I wouldn’t want a relationship like that.

[Asker]

Thanks for the answer, I’ll just see how it goes maybe I won’t contact him for a bit and see

[spartan55]

He has no clue how you feel about him. Let him know.

[Asker]

But I told him previously and that’s why I said it’s hard to be just friends this time so I’m sure he knows

[In_Trance]

guys never want to be friends