How common is it that the dumper asks their good friend to keep tabs on the dumpee?

[Anonymous]

I suspect like my dumper is doing that. I don’t understand why would he do that though.

[Cynicaldreamer]

The last guy I dated did that crap! That is a HUGE red flag: he wants to keep check on you to see: have you moved on, who are you dating, do you miss him...

Even though he left you, he still feels like keeping check on you. Not because he necessarily wants you back; I want to emphasize that (I thought that as well, but no, not always). It's as if even though they're happy and moved on, they don't want YOU to move on and forget about them.

With that being said, if his friend really is "keeping check" on you? I'd call said friend out on it. Or pretend like you're living your best life! Make sure the friend knows you're happy and do NOT miss said ex, even if you do. I know it sounds weird, but you don't want the friend reporting back to the ex how much you miss him: that's what he wants to hear. But if your ex thinks you're over him and don't miss him? It will annoy the hell out of him, lol.

[Asker]

I caught the friend viewing my instagram highlights. He clearly didn’t want to get caught. I then followed him and he followed him back. I then noticed that couple days earlier he had followed my bestfriend. He views most of my stories right away like within 10 minutes

[Guy13]

That’s creepy and what a pussy. Zero man-up credentials. Slimy. I would not trust him on anything from here forward. Working a new one snd unable to do it directly because new girl woukd freak out. Stay far away from him‼️

[Asker]

Is that the only reason (because he has a new girlfriend) ?

[spartan55]

He's NOT. How many times do I have to say it? Dudes don't ask their friends to spy on exes... why would he spy on you anyway?