I say this has a lot to do with the fact the dumper has invested SO MUCH of themselves that despite how upset and angry they feel. They truly loved you as a person and equally made mistakes along with the one being dumped. Its more so on a spiritual concept than a physical one. Its not easy to make hard decisions wither for the right or wrong reasons. Sometimes the person doesn't know how good they got it until its gone. Or the person who you had to dump was not worth it in your life. That's like a person you was in a relationship was was a murderer and you had to divorce from that person because they can be a danger to you or your family. Doesn't mean that you just wanted to.
good point. has to be a tough decision thats if you really loved the person. probably easy if you didn't really like the person.
My ex called me a week after she broke it off and we had a good conversation. I called two weeks later and she sent me to vm and still has not acknowledged my call. Why act that way?
@Asker
Once an ex, always an ex is how I looked at it. After the break up. You should have NEVER called her back, or texted her. You should have just moved on. removed everything she gave you and you gave her, deleted social media accounts, digital media, and block and deleted her number. It was over. Never call back an ex. You'll be setting yourself up for more heartbreak. If she though that you were weak, forget her. Somebody else can have you. Weaknesses and all.
did you mean weak or week? I said she called me a week after she broke it off.
i agree. guess i gave her benefit of the doubt being that she was friendly when she called. I figured she reached so let me try and she sends me to vm acting as if she didn't ever call me. Weird.
agreed!
Just because you dumped someone doesn't mean you wanted to. Some times the heart and the brain disagree and you have to pick one... when you decide to listen to your brain you can break your own heart... doesn't mean it's not your smartest option... sometimes things just suck. You can love someone and know that it's not going to work regardless of how much you want to.
I thought it was a lot simpler, but coming from a female, this makes a lot of sense. My ex called me a week after she broke it off and we had a good conversation. I called two weeks later and she sent me to vm and still has not acknowledged my call. Why act that way?
she may be dealing with conflict between her heart and head. She may want to talk to you but not trust herself too. Sorry that you are going through this.
what do you mean trust herself to? don't be sorry, it's life.
Still sucks.
Her heart may still have a lot of fight in it and isn't listening to reason and her mind still may be unwilling to cave to her heart. Do guys really not deal with this stuff too?
yup we do, but maybe differently i guess.
No i would not. It's very manipulative. I stay away from toxic people like that
weird as you would think that the dumper would feel relieved not be bitter when theyve just dumped someone.
It has something to do with control. Maybe they wanted a reaction. Or they are mad you acceptes the breakup, as they wanted to see you beg.
Wow you're insightful... i felt as though she didn't get the reaction that she was expecting. i was very understanding of her reasons for breaking up and i stayed calm feeling that she wanted me to blow. and no begging. how can you see this so clearly?
Awesome, proud of you. Stay away from her. There is so many people with narcissistic and borderline tendencies.
If she admits she misses you instead of her childess manipulative tactics, i would give her a chance.
give me your feedback on one last thing:
My ex called me a week after she broke it off and we had a good conversation. I called two weeks later and she sent me to vm and still has not acknowledged my call. Why act that way? how were you able to see so differently than the others who responded?
Because her behavious is inconsistent. Some very "dark and deep" people feel they have to test you in order to calm their insecurities and feel in control.
Besides, i feel that ignoring someone is very disrespectful.
I don't know her, but most probably she is what i call "crazy".
She ignored your call, to puzzle you and make you wonder... and it's exactly what you are doing lol
Just forget about her or just watch how she will change tactics once you fully move on :-)
yes you're right it's exactly what im doing, wondering. you realize its stupid and manipulative but you still fall for it knowing they did it on purpose.
Hey Kristina, you really saw this in a real way. Need your insight once more as another person saw her actions totally different and I'm confused. I don't see it like this at all. what do you think?
Here's what they wrote: She isn't playing games, she tried the relationship then realized it wasn't for her so she let you know and ended it. She might be perfectly comfortable talking to you after because that's mature and you didn't have a falling-out, just an adult break-up. She isn't getting back to you because she doesn't prioritize doing that anymore because you aren't dating. It's that straightforward. If you don't want to talk to her you don't have to.
I've never really been dumped and I've never acted shitty towards someone I dumped, because I understood I hurt them. Only time I acted like the one being the victim is if months after the fact they started doing things to get back at me. Like starting rumors. Lying to my friends about me. Actively trying to make me jealous or just hurt me emotionally. More often it just made me angry lol
for info sake, why do you think someone would act shitty towards someone they dumped?
Depends why they dumped you. If you cheated on them or did things that lead them to saying they've had enough and dump you, because of it. Then it's not surprising they would act like you are the bad guy.
If you didn't have a whole lot of issues an didn't do anything to piss them off, then it could be they want the sympathy of your mutual friends so they act like you're the bad guy. Or maybe to go through with actually breaking up she had to convince herself that you are a bad guy. So she sort of hypnotized herself into believing it. That happens too.
Some girls just can't justify to themselves dumping another person, without a powerful emotional reason behind it. You might just be experiencing a girl who convinced herself you're a bad guy, because she didn't know how to justify dumping a good guy.
I really can't tell you why. But there are a few reasons this can happen. Maybe she just wants to be viewed as a victim for appearances sake.
good analysis bro!!
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this is a great question.. but I'd say is because the may the dumper never actually wanted it to go that way maybe they wanted things to work out.. Anthony it's unfortunate it couldn't
I can see that. it can be a very tough decision. do you try to make it work?
thinking about a guy named anthony!! lol!
depends.. yes, if it's workable and our feelings are still there. but in these kind of circumstances and at our age maybe it's best that we don't. especially if there's no compromise. it's hard when you are in love with someone and they can't or won't compromise on the issues.. it's hard to walk away.. u get angry cause they won't listen to reason and or let up on the situation and force ur hand.. it's a hard and hurtful decision but u know it's best.. yes u get mad and bitter and everything else in between
ok good point. but do you give things time before you walk?
ummm I wanna say yes, maybe... but I notice with me that once I'm hurt or disappointed although I will stay because I love you.. it becomes hard to open up and allow you to show me you changed.. but I have to see something, because the trust has been broken one way or another.. and I have a continuous pattern of building walls so I don't get hurt by you again.. but I do hold on for a little longer in hopes things will change.. or at least when I do finally walk away I need to have no regrets.. I've tried really really hard.. really hard. but sometimes we face a very sad and lonelier reality. I wouldn't be able to play the fool forever.. so there would have to be change
My ex called me a week after she broke it off and we had a good conversation. I called two weeks later and she sent me to vm and still has not acknowledged my call. Why act that way?
because.. she missed you maybe wanted to hear from you and talk maybe... I don't think she's intentionally doing that to make you call her.. maybe she was busy at the moment u called and maybe for whatever reason she doesn't want to seem anxious to fall back in the same pattern you guys were in so she's creating the space that happens. or just maybe she realizes she wasn't ready for what ever reason she wasn't ready for the phone call even the one that she did
i was busy when she called but i acknowledged her, i know it can hurt to be ignored. I just feel that she did that on purpose. True she couldve been busy but at least let me know you got my call. that sends a bad nonverbal message to me.
well it's because if how things are between you two now... maybe she didn't get the call things and glitches happens all the time.. if or better yet when things were great between you two and in your eyes at one point she was perfect for you.
you would of never assumed she would ignore you or not return ur call on purpose. so why now? why not start seeing her differently and trusting again?
truth is since you guys are not together she doesn't owe u that and vice a versa. but besides that it's possible she's didn't get it for whatever reason... or trying to heal and get her head together without feeling entitled to ur attention and affection. we do this sometimes. she's not ready to be friends yet maybe she still loves you
great feedback. I know she got the call though and sent it to vm, but you're right she doesn't owe me anything. i thought more of her not to ignore her call, i saw no purpose in doing that. she was pretty mean to me prior to breaking up with me, so i would expect the same afterwards. i try to be nice to her, but nothing i can do now can change whatever she feels towards me. I can deal with the fact that we're not together but i hate the fact that she may hate me.
it's a process and the stages she has to go through could be intense. but when you are alone with your thoughts you know what genuinely took place in your relationship with her and really only you would know her true intent behind things she doing.. only u really know why? so what ever the case may be do u feel she needs the time.. honestly. I mean hate is a strong word but is it valid in this case? what do you think?
her being hurt and forcing herself to move forward and going without contact.. honestly do you think she has a valid point to do so.. very honest?
i think she has the right to do as she pleases and i dont believe its hate. its just when she reached out to me i thought we would maintain at least a cordial interaction and she even agreed to that. I guess she changed her mind after we talked.
it's possible... or it could be she reacted to soon.. maybe she want to give some time first.. since you agreed with the split I believe she might want to give u a chance to miss her or miss you'll. and remember what you had and what made you guys happy and hopefully it'll bring that thing back.. maybe.
only you really knows.. right? do u know or have an idea?
being honest, i think that's it. it's up to her now, if she's decided that's it then we'll go our ways.
you were painting the picture of a healthy emotional woman, hers an example of how manipulative this girl was:
- She stops initiating communication with me (no texts, no phone calls)
- I mirror and do the same
- She calls my mother
- My mother tells me she called... so I call her
- She acts cold and uninterested as if she didn't call my mother to get me to call her
- I'm confused
- Her mom calls me to see what's going on with me and her daughter
- Finally she breaks up with me
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