Why would a dumper get upset that the dumpee moved on?

So my ex dumped me, and I was upset about it. I tried to get her back at the time and she said no. She said she never loved me or felt that much chemistry for after almost a year of dating.

I went NC for over 2 months. However, I then saw her at a function as we are in the same circle/community. The encounter was brief, awkward, but cordial enough.

I then saw her a second time and it was friendly enough. However, some dude was hitting on her. My ex seemed to enjoy the attention and I was upset about. But, what could I do? She was my ex. So, I took the high road and was nice to both them.

So then I started dating around (nothing serious) and my ex found out about it.

The next time I saw the ex, I approached her in a friendly manner, asked about her and her family, and she responded very rudely and cold towards me.

I am confused: she dumped me, she said we could remain friends.

What gives?

If I knew that staying away from other women would have given me a shot back with my ex, then I would have acted accordingly.

But don't y'all think that it was up to my ex to either contact me or give me some sort of signal that she was interested in reconciliation? I can't read minds, and I did not believe that being cordial was enough to signify the desire for a reconciliation.

And if she was not interested in a reconciliation and was ok with remaining friends, then why the heck get upset that I moved on?

Could it be all ego and the fact that I apparently moved on before her?

Either way, the whole thing makes me sad because I would have loved to have gotten back together with her. Short of that, it would have been ok to at least remained civil and friendly with her.

What did I do/not do that I should have/should not have?


So, how should I act around her now? Risk being rude and ignore her, or continue to say hi with a smile, like I have been doing. I feel kind of silly doing that though, but maybe killing with kindness is best?


Most Helpful Girl

  • She expected to move on first and be the smug one in a new relationship leaving her past behind, she doesn't like that you moved on from her first and are leaving her in the past instead of moping about upset wishing for her back so she could use you as her fall back in the future. You dodged a bullet even if you don't see it now, she told you she never loved you and wanted you to remain single as her back up, move on and don't bother with her you can do a lot better

    • Thanks. I really thought she was more mature than that. Disappointing, to say the least.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • You don't know what you've go til it's really gone.

    Also, things seem more appealing when other people want or have them.

    Don't get back with her, solely because of the way she treated you when she broke up with you and thought she could have you still. Says a lot about her character.

    • Thanks...it's an odd quirk in human nature to want what cannot have. Perhaps even I became even more into when she dumped me.

  • um i dumped my bf cuz i wanted him to fight for me and make me be his. it didn't happen so i acted like she did.

  • Only emotionally immature women play games. She's probably just playing a game. Don't play it with her, you deserve better than to be toyed with.

  • I have seen and heard a lot of girls do this and I personally don't understand why. Most of the time girls will act as if they have moved on but they really haven't so once as you get a girlfriend those fellings are there and she acts angrily because she as all those feeling she's been hiding, this is what I would assume.


What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!