How do I know if I am broken and damaged?

[Anonymous]

I realized I was in a relationship with a person that has NPD. I’ve finally found answers as to why he would act in ways that made me feel like I need to research things.
Every day, many times a day, he will tell me that I am broken and damaged. He would call me broken and damage even when I just simply disagreed with something or confronted him for treating me badly or standing me up. When I would question the way he acted or the things he was doing he would tell me that I’m just broken and damaged. Why would he say that for something so simple?

[SteveSmith1985]

Ok. You are not broken and damaged. That's a lie.

Are you still in this relationship? This is really abusive.

It's one thing to be aware that he has NPD. It surely will help you contextualize a lot of his behavior.

You need to take the next step, and start recognizing his abusive behavior as abusive. Having NPD does not excuse being an abuser.

You are not damaged. You are not broken.

The fact that you worry you might be... is a very-clear sign you're thinking is changing as a result of his abuse. You are starting to believe it when he says things meant to make you feel worthless.

This is classic emotional abuse. Textbook. Please please make that your next research topic. You need to google "emotionally abusive relationship" and start from there.

Whether he has NPD, or he's just a bad person for some undiagnosable reason... makes no real difference. This is an abusive man. You are in an abusive relationship. You need to get out of that relationship. It's already doing you harm (look what you're asking!) and if you stay with him... you may turn into someone you don't recognize. I'll bet you KNEW you weren't damaged or broken before he started telling you that you were these things.

You need to get out of this relationship. Please do turn your research towards looking at emotionally abusive relationship.

Please don't hesitate to shoot me a DM if you'd care to chat. I would love to talk to you. If not, no worries. 🙂

[Heterosketero]

To gaslight you out of a serious conversation. People project, he is damaged and broken.

[riverrat3]

He is damaged, not you

[Anonymous]

He’s sick.