What are the subtle signs that a guy is abusive or controlling?

[Anonymous]

When you're first getting to know him.

Updates

+1 y

Bump..

[jennifer_bloom]

I think a lot of abusive people do not know they are abusive - they believe their unpleasant behaviour is justifiable and well deserved towards their victim. If somebody is proud of their bad behaviour and believes it's morally correct, then you can detect it by micro aggressions that are out of place and morally unpleasant when they are angry or annoyed. If they know they are abusive and know its wrong - then finding bad instincts is harder. I find nearly all abusive people have low class habits that make them easy to detect. Examples include gossip, swearing, getting toxic and angry for performance failures such as imperfect cleaning or imperfect stain removal, or not apologizing when they are caught in bad actions that everybody knows is bad and acting like the bad action is not their fault.

[serious_miss419]

Trust your gut!!!

[Asker]

My gut tells me he. is

[BagoH]

He uses various forms of gaslighting. Such as making you seem dumb all the time , making you doubt your ideas/ decisions. Not respecting your choices or at least trying to understand your reasons but quickly jumping to criticizing you for having personal decisions.

[Sunssong]

Look at his past or repetition

Habits repeat

[Guy13]

Tells you what to do. Manipulative. It’s not subtle

[Anonymous]

I guess if they are bossy and trying to always control the conversation

[RodTodger1]

Puts you down and is never able to laugh.