My best friend likes to call me a simp and make fun of me for liking him. Even though I don't. Why?

[Anonymous]

He likes to say that I like him- or play fully make fun of me. Or tell me that it's obvious. I sort of like him, but not really anymore, and I don't express it much or at all. He does almost the same things I do, but if I call him out he says it's just "hormones". He does other weird things like constantly saying that he doesn't like me, when no one asked. He also says he doesn't like my personality but won't leave me alone. Ever.

He's my best friend despite all this, and he only acts this way when he has a girlfriend.

Anyways, why does he act so rude for no reason?

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm not going to lie. This is not behavior I recognize. Not even from when I was in high school. I still feel like I can give you a decent read on it though.

This is basically really immature, bad flirting. It's the slightly (but only slightly) more mature version of the little boy who pulls on the little girls pigtails, or pushes her down in the mud when she's wearing a nice dress... in a really backward attempt to flirt. That's what this is. That's what this very clearly is. He does not know AT ALL how to handle his feelings or how to express them... so he ends up calling you a "simp," says he hates your personality and is going out of his way to let you know he doesn't like you (even though nobody asked). You are being pushed in the mud. By an immature boy. Because he likes you (or has some feelings in that direction towards you, to say the least).

BUT... you threw me RIGHT OFF when you said he only acts this way when he has a girlfriend. I mean... I can explain it, but I wasn't expecting that when I read it. It makes me so curious how a guy who flirts this obnoxiously... is acting when he does't have a girlfriend? He turns into a "normal" guy? That's crazy!

Here's my explanation on that part: He has feelings for you. He feels guilty about that when he has a girlfriend. So it's still definitely flirting in exactly the way I described... but maybe the reason it takes such an overtly obnoxious tone... is simply to try and convince HIMSELF that he doesn't really like your personality, and blah blah blah. But I'll admit... that part is really weird.

I don't know how old you are... but I'm not quite sure what to tell you about when your friend's gonna grow up a little. I sure hope you're on the younger side of "under 18."

[Asker]

He is almost 18 is the worst part. When he is single he openly has a crush on me and treats me wonderfully. This only ever happens when he's with one specific girl. His current girlfriend doesn't want him to talk to me, bc last time he cheated. He is going behind her back to talk to me. He's never once been unloyal to me, as he tells me everything as soon as it happens screenshots included.

There is so much to this I could right a novel. But yeah, he does kind of seem like he's deflecting. It's half funny and half admittedly hurtful.

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh... I bet you could write a novel. And there's more that's messed-up about this situation that you probably even realize. But jesus fucking christ. He's almost 18? Are you kidding?

I'll just say, the problem here, the overall one I mean. The root problem is that he shouldn't be having an "open crush" on you while treating you wonderfully when he's "single." He should be dating you since you like each other at that point. If you hadn't fucked around with that (I'm sure you have your reasons. But still) none of this stupid shit would be happening.

But seriously, even aside from that. You really do have to take a hard long look at how ridiculous it is for any 17 year old to be acting this way with any girl for any reason in any situation whatsoever. it says something about the dude. Just something to consider.

[Asker]

thanks, I let a lot of it slide because he is bipolar, and doesn't get a lot of help in that area. It's long distance, so I also exuse him for that, because he stressed out over not being able to see me. Though once again more problems on that. It's a lot. But thank you very insightful I'm glad I came on here

[SteveSmith1985]

Well, I hope that things work out well for you, and for him. You're welcome, and take care. 🙂

[MementoMori777]

Teenagers can act in many different ways and his ego seems to be boosted when he's taken, there's always a chance he is treating you how he would treat a male friend tho

[melanieeeB]

Stupid shit. I would tell him to stop and take some distance.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

That’s like Platinum calling out Hurricane for simping for Gawr Gura but with a budget decrease. He probably just wishes he were a US President.

[slatyb]

Why is he your best friend?

[Anonymous]

Teenage nonsense. Ignore it.

[Anonymous]

🎣🎣🎣