My boyfriend replies late on purpose?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 1 year and a half.. the problem is i know he really loves me but he always replies after hours purposely I don’t like to be needy or annoying so i asked him once and gives trivial reasons. He always initiates the calls and whenever we talk on the phone he is really interested laughing and loving.. I can’t understand him he is working abroad but it’s not easy for him to get internet.. whenever i send him something on whatsapp he doesn’t reply but he was only on messenger.. is he cheating on me? by the way he always calls me everyday but whenever i text he doesn’t reply what could be happening? And what to do?

[OfMiceandMen]

Not knowing completely what is going on, and just trying to understand the situation... my first question would be... How many texts do send him in a day, in addition to the daily phone call?

Just wondering if you are inundating him with texts?

If so, like most guys, we tend to get a little tired of conversations over text. So maybe write down some things you want to discuss and do it during the phone call the next day. Especially, if they aren't important.

The other thing I have to ask is, are you bombarding him with texts to keep track of where he is and what he is doing, and what really ticks you off is him not responding quickly. If that is the reason, then perhaps you should discuss this with him and get it out in the open the next call. Get some reassurance from him that he is not screwing around on you abroad.

If he has stepped out on you in the past, then why agree to stay with him while he works abroad, especially if you don't trust him?

[spartan55]

What to do? Stop texting and communicate by phone. You said he calls you EVERY day, and you still need to text on top of that? Why? He calls you every day and you think he might be cheating? Why don't you ever call him? Ever think he may not appreciate that? Or is it all about you?

[Asker]

I don’t call cause he works abroad and his working hours aren’t fixed.. so i text and let him reply or call when it’s convenient for him… is that wrong? It’s my first relationship and I’m a little shy and I don’t know how to handle so i need to know what I’m doing wrong from a guy’s perspective. That’s all.

[spartan55]

He clearly doesn't like texting. Most guys don't. Women can't/won't understand this and expect guys to value texting as much as they do. That ain't happenin. You can call anytime and leave him a voice mail. You are shy and in an LDR? Do you think that is sustainable?
Where are you getting that idea that he is cheating on you?

[Asker]

Well before our relationship turns into LDR everything was natural and not confusing cause he doesn’t hold his phone when he’s with me except if one of his family members calls him. But what makes me feel like he could be cheating (maybe it’s right or not) that since he went abroad in the first month everything was okay he calls 2 or 3 times a day and whenever i text him, he replies in minutes, so i can’t tell that he hates texting because he was texting me a lot then.. now it takes hours for him to reply.. but he still calls and when i call him he answers and talk with me for hours. That’s what makes me confused am i do something wrong or maybe he is just busy or something else.

[spartan55]

Again, read my second reply. He doesn't like texting. Are you going to battle him about it and think that he is cheating and all that nonsense? (which is ridiculous by the way) OR be smart about it and adapt. Rely on phone calls, there's no reason that shouldn't be enough. Texting on top of that is too much.

[spartan55]

He was texting a lot at first because he wasn't tired of it yet. Shit gets old in a hurry though.

[Asker]

Thanks for making this clear to me. I’m gonna do this and see what’s gonna happen. That was really helpful for me.

[spartan55]

I truly hope it works out for you. Good luck!

[Kyr0s]

Some people don't like to talk as much/as often as others.