If a 50+ guy is not in a committed relationship, is it because he hasn't found the one, or is there a less romantic reason for that?

[Bethany22]

In other words, should I run for the hills because he obviously has issues that I can't fix, and that he's never going to get married?

[caring__1]

The older we are, the more set in our ways we become. We've discovered what works and doesn't work for us, unlike young people who are still discovering that. Therefore, we tend to be less flexible. That doesn't mean we wouldn't be a quality partner; that's saying we tend to be less receptive to potential partners attempting to change us, so if you're just seeing a person's potential, pass them by.

If you're interested in an older man, ask him what he's learned from his previous relationship experiences. Stick to what he's learned rather than seek out details of what he's done and who he's done it with. Find out what he's looking for in a relationship and what his red flags are. If he's looking for tranquility, and his red flags are yelling and overreacting, don't expect him to stick around if you yell or overreact.

Guys are as eager to be fixed as women are, so don't even tease with this. As far as marriage goes, older men are less likely to seek marriage than women, as they don't see it has anything to offer, and the potential cost is great. Unless they feel insecure and need to prove their value, they're less likely to seek out someone who wants a provider. They no longer feel they need marriage to hold onto a partner, as they have little desire to hold onto someone who doesn't see value in being with them. Kids are usually out of the picture, so that's another marriage reason that doesn't exist. If marriage is important to you, find out the guy's view of marriage before you invest too much.

[OfMiceandMen]

It depends on his circumstances. If he is the result of a bad relationship (s) then I could see him not wanting a committed relationship.

However, I think the main reason most single guys 50+ are not in a committed relationship, is because they believe no one would be interested in him, at that age. So they tends to focus on existing family and not putting any effort into finding someone for a committed relationship.

Undoubtedly, that could all change if the right women comes along.

[OfMiceandMen]

Thanks.🙌

[WindAtMyBack]

I don't think it's a red flag if that's what you are asking. It might mean something is wrong, but it might not. I actually know someone who is almost 69 and may be getting married for the first time soon. He's dated several women and had a couple of girlfriends, but I think he was totally justified in breaking up with them. Bottom line is that he just never found a good match until now. I think for the first time in his life he's really understanding what a good relationship is like.

I think as people get older they are looking for different kind of things in a relationship. I think it's more about companionship and compatibility than youthful emotional love. They want someone to spend their time with and do things with. Both people already have an established life. I don't think things like possessiveness is as common with older people. They know the other person has an established life and let them live it. So I think they generally give each other a lot of room.

That's not saying there is no love involved. It's just that other things increase in importance.

[TalynMere]

Depends on the guy. Some men just don't want a permanent relationship. Especially when they're 50+ and pulling in under 30s.

All the advice given today about relationships seems to just say that ultimately you just shouldn't have one. You should love yourself is what people say.

When you love yourself, you don't need anyone else and are therefore free to act how you like with whoever you like whenever you like.

Also yes he could have issues. People are complex and dropping them at the slightest difficulty is all too common for people claiming to want love and not just sex.

[pupluv45]

I'm going to speak from experience. Most guys in their 50s aren't looking for "the right one" anymore. People this age understand that getting married and having a family is something they should've done when they were young, not something they look to accomplish a few years before retirement. When people at this age date, they are looking to have fun rather than to get married and to build a family. In some uncommon circumstances, they might marry but not nearly as much as the younger folks.

Plus there is a wide variety of reasons why someone might've still ben single in their 50s. The most common one usually is: they never felt the need to get married.

If someone wanted marriage and family bad enough, they would marry. Some folks like remaining all alone by themselves.

[Anonymous]

At that age he's already set in his ways. Some may be looking for a serious relationship while others might just want an occasional companion and sex with no real end game in mind like moving in together or marriage. Unfortunately I've experienced the latter with an older man. He wasted 4 years of my life before he finally admitted that he never wanted to live together or get married. He just wanted someone to spend time with and have sex with sometimes, when he felt like it. If you want a serious relationship, just be upfront about it with an older man to spare yourself potential wasted years.

[Anonymous]

Well if he's 50 he may be a bit old for you. To my mind any 50 year old single guy I know is either divorced or widowed and have been there and done that with marraige and kids and generally have no desire to do it again preferring to date casually and enjoy their life. Don't get me wrong I've dated successful 50 year old guys before and it's fun to tour around with them going on foreign holidays, fancy restaurants and staying in nice hotels as well as thd gifts. The sex isn't that bad if they look after themselves and that magic blue pill means they are always good to go, last 50 year old I was with could teach my boyfriend a thing or two. But there's no future, I mean in two years he'd be 70 and I'd be 40 and I wanted kids, last 50 year old guy I was with had kids older than me.

[AviatorTom]

Speaking from experience...

When a guy is in his 20s, he's looking for a long-term relationship to raise a family.

When a guy is in his 50s, the thought of raising a family is gone. He may just be looking for a partner for sex. If he is looking for something long-term, it's about doing things together, not creating babies.

[Pegases]

What do you like about him? And to answer your question, a lot of people place their career over romance. It could really be any number of reasons why he's single, so I would just ask. If he gets frazzled by that question, then that may be a sign to run for the hills, but even then its worth inquiring further to know for sure.

[lightbulb27]

I got married 50+, it took some work. I hadn't dated much and had prior train wrecks... I had issues.

I know another gal slightly older than you that just started dating a 60+.

In general, I'd say there are issues with the guy. Are they issues you both can overcome is the question.

[FunkyMonkee]

I found the one in my early 30's, she started cheating on me 10 years later. Hasn't been anyone since. The only one's even interested since then were a girl in Michigan who turned out to be 12 years old and another girl in Bulgaria who I haven't heard from since she left her hubby 12 years ago.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm not 50 , but I'll answer anyway. In my case, it's because I take marriage VERY seriously, so I have high standards for a woman to meet to qualify to be my wife.
(And the women that I'm actually interested in have high standards, too. And sometimes I don't meet them lol.)

[noohair]

If you learn only one thing, let this be the one. You can't fix other people. The only person you have any chance of fixing is yourself. That is the tragic mistake that women make, trying to fix guys instead of accepting the whole person with all the flaws.

[nawtee_me]

well I can only speak for me. I am divorced for more than 20 years. I raised my sons as a single father thinking that was what I needed to do before getting back into a relationship. Little did I know how much things would change by the time my kids got out of high school. Since then dating had changed so much and so has the times. I am not sure if I will find the right girl or even where to look sometimes...

[BeMuse]

Figure it out on your own. Panicking just because someone before you panicked is sheep behavior.

[Owen009]

It's less important to have companionship when you're older. Other things become more important like health and eliminating stress, and relationships are stressful. I have a woman right now that's interested in me but I just don't know that I want those headaches at the moment.

[Lliam]

It's impossible to say. There are dozens of possible reasons why he isn't currently in a committed relationship and not all would be red flags.

[SteveSmith1985]

I agree with this. There are so many different reasons. Judge the individual. It would be ridiculous to assume there's a problem based on him being single at his age. You don't know his story. Find out before you make assumptions.

[Quackthulu2]

When the milk passes its expiration date is it just waiting for the right person to drink it? or is it just time to throw it out?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Sometimes we are older and at times have a lower sex drive, but we still want that younger woman, and sometimes we are very shy, so these are multiple things that can happen.

[Avicenna]

It could be any number of things. The thing that would be most concerning is if he's never been in a long-term relationship.

[Clarkkk]

Might very well be Sigma. Don’t take my word for the definition, look it up. Very interesting.

[Bricealan]

Probably a 'less romantic reason" for it. Not my place to second guess someone, but he may like being alone. Who knows?

[Iron_Man]

You’re just guessing how do you know it’s he not stressing about life or he just hasn’t found the right one, what makes you think it’s sexual problems things can be fixed nowadays

[Iron_Man]

Give it your best shot

[LiamJHayden]

If he has never been in one that might be an issue if you want a long term relationship. If he has been in LTR's and maybe married and divorced or widowed, that would be different.

[Jerre]

I was engaged 20+ years ago, she was killed in an auto accident 2 weeks before our wedding. Haven’t found the right girl again, but do a lot of dating.

[Guardian45]

If you love a 50 guy who is not in a committed relationship, then it could be because he hasn't found the one, or a less romantic reason. It's up to to figure that out!

[Anonymous]

He might not have had the chance before and now he's looking to settle down with a good woman.

[cth96190]

In most cases, he would have been hurt so badly that he did not want to go there again.

[AimeeKyle]

Not really enough information to make a worthwhile evaluation/response. Was he married or in a long term relationship before?

[MysteriousDarkness]

He could be divorced for many different reasons or a widower.

[PointTaken]

He hasn't found the right one. It just depends on the guy.

[Greenbins]

No not at all.. maybe he hasn't found the right women and he didn't want to settle..

[Bklynbadboy12]

Do you like older men and no just means he probably hasn't found the right one

[loveslongnails]

Is he a widower?

[Mansearching]

Either that or divorced.

[David4358]

is he divorced? or never got married?

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I haven't made it that far in life.

[fonduegirl]

Need more context.

[DJB72]

She might be dead...

[Anonymous]

Why date your dad

[EaterPeter]

Run.

[Inquisitive98]

Why?