Why many mid age men who are still single dont pursue serious relationships?

[Anonymous]

Also why men in such age group who still are single are also more sexual than some younger men?

Does this has to do with men nature, biology or what?
Most women under the same category think differently than men. I dont know if it has to do with the norm that women are to reproduce and start a family and we are more picky to find good partners for our future so we have to settle with the right ones who can support us and take care of us as in part we may depend on them and we need a man worthy of us.

So if there is a single women who are between 40 and 47yrs still single, no kids and has no boyfriend or even dating, people question their motives cause at her age most humans has a family at least or at least just married and if that women does not have any of that they could as Whats up with her? or they comment, "You are running late to conceive children IF you want to have kids still of course.

But if there is a man also between 40 and 47 who are still single, and ain't dating and does not have kids still, society applaud him wow good for him, " he knows what he wants" or do not question their motives of being still single, no kids no married although some do question that a guy who is not married yet and no kids, and still single and enjoying his freedom are irresponsible because they are just to ave fun with ladies they are acting immature and they won't never settle with any lady they are not worth partner material to any woman.

I also heard this from my aunt who is 65 years old one day. "You have to know that most guy who are still single and have no kids yet and they are between 40 and lets say 47, they are not men who lets say would like to date like teenager date, dont expect that from them, , guys at that age know what they want and it is normal that they want to have sex often even in your first date, as they are not kids anymore" Is it because the sex drive at that age is higher?

Updates

+1 y

So if you see mature couples who are still single and have no kids but going out often, believe me they are having sex already even if they just met.

Updates

+1 y

But also I heard this that the primary reason a man asks one woman to marry regardless of his age and not another lady is that each woman treats him differently.

[Wally48]

Hey, I read your posts three times. I agree with you that childbearing is not a realistic option at your state in life. Not only is it biologically risky, it's energy draining and encumbering in terms your personal freedom, something which you value (and should).

You make it clear that for many reasons you miss the emotional support and companionship that comes from a relationship. I would encourage you to consider dating from your age, and up to older men up to 60 or so. Many of them are sexually potent, good lovers, and will be more attentive and sensitive to your needs. That opens an age range of nearly 15 years of eligible suitors. There are many many men that don't want to die alone and lonely.

Don't forget you have many things going for you. From you avatar photo you appear to be lovely. You've had a successful career, and are financially stable. And, your body has not suffered the ravages of child bearing. Frankly, there are a lot 55yo guys that would consider you a prize. Don't underestimate it.

It's a very good thing that your "needs and desires" are now surfacing, and you should get working on that NOW. You are entitled to sexual satisfaction. It is a core and very primal element of our existence. Developing relationships is a learning exercise. Trial and error. Date as many men as you can. As you progress in these relationships, take some sexual satisfaction from those suitors you really like. You only have one life.

Now a couple of questions for you. In another post, you told me some guy has propositioned you 2 or 3 times, and you have turned him down each time. So what was so wrong with that guy that you turned him down? Especially since you imply you haven't been laid in 30. How about that stud in your Avatar photo? Are you currently in Costa Rica? I've spent time there myself, and there are a lot of well sharp well educated guys down there. Avoid being too picky.

Good luck and Carpe Diem!!

[Asker]

Answering your questions here it goes.

1., Yes there is this particular guy who had indeed had propositioned me to have sex an yes I had turned him down twice and this thing just recently happened last year.

[Asker]

This is lets say the first and only guy who has propositioned me that, because inmy past no other guy had done that. This guy is 44 years old and single but no kids, we are in the same situation (single no married and no kids) he does not want kids I dont want kids, he is reluctant to a serious or steady relationship as he enjoys being single and the freedom that comes with it.

[Asker]

The guy in my Avatar photo iis a relative and he is only 15 years old but he looks older of course. He is the son of my first malel cousin, which makes this boy my second cousin.

[Intraluminal]

We'll, speaking as a single middle-aged male, this is my thinking.

There are basically five reasons to date.

1) Social approbrium.
2) Companionship and support
3) Sex
4) Reproduction
5) attraction to feminine women as separate from sex.

As a middle-aged man, I could give a fuck less about what society wants. That leaves 4 reasons.

Now, although I like women, and I like being around women, that is not enough to get me to date, so #5 is out, that leaves 3 reasons, sex, companionship, and reproduction.

Now many middle-aged men are done with women for companionship. They'd rather hunt or fish or watch sports, or do some other "manly" activity, so for many guys, female "companionship" is not a draw.

Likewise, many either have enough kids, or never wanted any, so reproduction is not a draw.

That leaves sex, and whatever residual attraction female companionship and social approbrium has.

That's it for most men.

Is our sex drive higher? No. Not at all. I could barely keep my D down - even into my 30s. Now I can from time to time. Frankly it's nice to be able to walk down the street without having a "tent" in my pants.

Why do we expect sex soon? We'll, if you're looking for a relationship where sex is the major draw, that makes sense. Also, we *presume* that

1) as an adult, you've come to terms with your sexual desires or lack thereof, and
2) Are no longer enslaved by society's expectations and strictures.

Therefore, if you don't want sex, then find someone else who doesn't want sex. If you want some sex, here we are, and if you want constant sex, become a cougar. In the meantime, let's have a demo.

[Intraluminal]

I should add that *unusually* for a guy my age, I DO want more kids, so obviously everyone is different.

[Asker]

I find this intersting article www.today.com/.../reason-why-men-marry-some-women-not-others-t74671

[Asker]

So let me ask you. If a man who is 44 years old still single, unmarried and does nto want to be involved in a serious relationship with a lady, and only wants to have sex with her cause he finds her attractive but also still a virgin but there is a chance he may not wnat to see her after he get his deed done with her, even if they know for lets say 3 years and they are not strangers. Is he a bad man? In terms of useless guy

[Asker]

So in your point of view guys in taht age group sex is the most important part of their lives?

[Intraluminal]

I would tell you to reread the article that you pointed out. It is REALLY spot on. In fact, if he wrote a book, I'd buy it if I were you.

[Asker]

I will rea read the article but I dont know if like i want to be used just as a sex toy even if Im not marrying in my future or want a relationship like to end up marrying but also is not like who I am to feel used either.

[Intraluminal]

I don't blame you for not wanting to be a sex toy. I'm describing the *primary* drive, but men are people too, and they have feelings (most of them) too.

[Asker]

Sure men ahve feelings that I agree but when they hit certain age like I said more tan 40 and still are singel and not dating anyone I doubt they will like to trade their current single life for a committed life so is why they prefer like to have informa relationships or just have sex

[Asker]

but do u believe that guys for instance who are 44 y s old they are still single, they are not currently dating anyone, they dotn want to be tied down in serious relationship but and they want to be single and enjoy that freedom, most likely what they want from a woman is just sex if they find a woman with those same characteristics as him but the only difference the woman do not want to be treated like she is just a toy for him to satisfy.

I Heard some men in their mid ages think like that, they beleive they are the eternal bachelosr and like to h ave fun with girls but just that, but of course also it depends of that particular woman who agree to be treated like that. But my point is that if is true that men when they reach es that age and still contineu to be single with no committed relationship of any kind, is because they like the sex or their sex drive is higher and think of sex more often than before the reason why enjoy being bachelors?

My aunt once said...

[Asker]

She said: "If a man is still 40´s old or he is in his mid 40´s they are still single, they are no dating, like steady, they enjoy being single the moment they meet a woman or starts to date a lady even if it is steady for a while, it won't be like dating a teenager, the guy will expect sex soon rather than later, because they are mature adults who think differently than a teenager, it is not that they will h old back sex beauase they are still inmmature and Young until the woman is ready, no think that what men want at those ages sex is very important and they will expect to get sex even if they had been dating briefly.

[Intraluminal]

Two things.

1) If you have sex, and you get enjoyment out of sex, then you are not being "used." You're only being used if you don't enjoy sex and the guy "uses" your body to have with. The bottom line is that IF you enjoy it, you're not being used. Think of it this way:

If I'm a "friend" and I invite you over to play a game, but when you get over to my house, the game is broken and I insist that you help paint my room -- you've been used.

If a friend, and I ask you to come over with some other friends and we have a painting party, where we paint a room, but we have snacks and music, and a movie at the end -- you HAVEN'T been used.

In both cases you painted a room, but you were nobused in one, and were used in the other.

[Intraluminal]

2) The article CLEARLY spells out who to pursue and who to avoid, as well as how to tell the difference. Buy the book and memorize it.

[Asker]

But why many say that guysy when thei hit a certain adult ages, they like stop to want a steady relationship and rahter be single? and if a lady also in her 40´s dates a guy in taht same age group sex it smore important than other things and teh sooner the better.

Another question who do you know if you will enjoy sex with that particular person if in this case the woman lacks of experience with men so she does nto know if she will enjoy it or not so she wotn feel she had been used? Ok you will answer what I amm thinking already "you dotn know until you try and experience that? But are there like hints you can foreseen at least?

[Asker]

So like some prostitutes that they do their Jobs for a living and sometimes they are not enjhoying it of coruse in taht case they are been used. just for pleasure

[ImagineSketchy]

If they are single in their 40s and older, it's probably because they may have been in a previous relationship, it ended for whatever reason and he just hasn't sought out another partner. It isn't easy finding a good woman, because most are already taken or just not interested in dating you or at the given time. I think sex drive deteriorates as a man gets older as testosterone isn't produced in quantities as high as when he was younger. Some men's libido never goes away though.
Some men never seek a romantic relationship. To each their own.
This is Just a simplified response.

Also, women can't have children whenever they want, but a man can. Sperm doesn't stop getting produced but the eggs fall out, and eventually the body runs out of them.

[Asker]

I jsut read this on the internet and I found it interesting
-
After age 38, the chances they will ever marry drop dramatically.
The chances that a man will marry for the first time diminish even more once he reaches 42 or 43. At this point, many men become confirmed bachelors.

Once men reach age 47 to 50 without marrying, the chances they will marry do not disappear, but they drop dramatically

[ImagineSketchy]

I bet. I would be one of those guys

[Wally48]

@kitty71 You wrote a really good question and touched on some different subjects. I will write an opinion later today. I've been married for 36 years and both wife and I agree we would not remarry. As for me, I have a high sex drive and a really like having female companionship, so I'm quite certain I would date actively and perhaps have a committed relationship (not marry).
Question for you: Are you unhappy with the single men you have met? What do you want right now from a man in a relationship. You imply you don't have kids and never been married correct? Back later.

[Asker]

@Wally48 You are correct I m not married never been married before in my life and I dont have kids either. 1. At this age biologically It is risky to be pregnatn and I dotn want to go through that im not mentally or financially ready to be a mom now. Life is too complicated so I rahter be mom free. I mean kids seem nice and they are all cute but I think at my age that is not for me. 2. I dont mind being in a relationship even if I dont have kids, even if being in a relatiosnhip comes with struggles and hassles, probably it is just a bit less complicated to bare them if you dont have kids. 3. Im not in a current relationshp now I dont have a boyfriend or seeing someone or even dating. either but that is because I never been ina steady relationship before or even had bf´s or dated casually either in my past the reason why I had always been single since I have memory (lol!!) 4. When I was younger I had very bad luck like inthe love department I never experienced what is like to being a girlfriend to..

[Asker]

@Wally48 a guy or even or even casually dated like Young people do even with no intend of future marriage, just go through what normal mortal goes through as a part of life. I never experienced any of that before. So as the time passes by and life gotten more complicated in so many fields, lets say my wish to be married in a future decreased even more by the fact that I was getting older and still I was no dating or have a partner or even a boyfriend so my interest for really get married decreased even more but I was not ruling out the possibility to at least go through the dating phase to someone or casually dating something that MOST humans do, it had never applied in my case.
I was never very very social in my high school years or worklife years, I was kind of shy and I never was like bold to ask guys out myself I always wanted a guy ask me out or pursue me, that never ever happened either not until this date. If lets say in my 20 or 30´s I dated at least or had a boyfriend probably my view of

[Asker]

@Wally48 forming a family and getting married could had be part of my goals but since I never had any of that and age went by, for the factors of age, having kids at a risk age, life is complicated more than before and I dont think now Im ready for any of all of those things, if I marry someone now when in my current life financially or metnally im ready now and being single had always had its perks.

But now one thing had changed my view now of whether to remain celibate my whole remaining life or take the plunge now regardless of if I be in a steady relationship with someone or not or just date informally but at my age like I pointe in this artcile guys and girls view relationshps differently, and they focus more in the "fun" committment free part of life for the ones who want to live like that cause now life is too complicated and people around my age who still are single and never married or dont have kids do not want to get tied down.

Why I say for me now one thing changed?

[Asker]

@Wally48 Beause I believe that my women needs or desires just waken up very late in my life when I entered my mid age years so I have to see things differently and I can't apply them the same way as If i was in my late 20 or early 30´s. Dating in your 30´s is not the same as dating in your mid 40´s. Even if I knwo there are women in my age who still believe in committment and the marriage institution and good for them but I dont know if that is for me now that I clsoeo to turn 47. I have a friend who alreayd has teenage kids but she is divorced and she is 40 and she looks Young and she is not dating but she does not work she just live off from the alimony her ex gives her, , she was verbally abused with her ex but she still believe in finding a steady partner in her life to be beside her. But she tells me that only Young guys appear to her and she is not into Young men, guys in theri 30´s and for her 30 is too Young for her and the older guys she meets is only for sex and she is not

[ImagineSketchy]

I feel like it would have been nice if this wasn't on my opinion. Lol. I'm not even in this conversation.

[Asker]

@Wally48 she is not into ohave a partner only to satisfy his needs beause th ey are in theri mid 40s and guys at that age according to her only wants that, they dont want to committ.
That is this the case of this friend who is 40´s who still wants to settle to someone but so far she has not found one to start dating with the same goals as her.

My case is different beause until 3 years ago I met a guy who for my first time ever had made me have real butterflies in my stomach im very attracted to him he knows it, he is jsut 3 years younger than me he is 44 im 46 now but he is not a committed guy like I said he is over 40 and guys over 40 still single and no married they see life differently the dont want to settle they enjoy being single and free of complicated serious relationships that is why most guys over 40 are today and unfortunately that is the one I found I end up being attracted with

[Asker]

@Wally48 This guy is the very first guy who had wake up my desires as a woman, something thta probably were asleep my whole life cause I never had boyfriend dates ever inmy life at all to exprience that phase of dating.. Why at this time of my age? I dont know But like my aunt says remember that at your age guys in yoru same age group who are still single and not even dating seriously , sex is liek the most important part due probably thei age sex drive who knows. so dont expect that going out with guys like this are liek dating a teenager or 20´s over people who waits for a couple of dates before being intimate or not being intimate at all. and everything is like a fairy tale they know what they want and if that means having sex even in theh first date or second date because at that age is normal for those who are not into committed relationship.

[Asker]

givge ur opinión go ahead

[ImagineSketchy]

@kitty71 I was saying @Wally48 never posted an actual opinion. All of this is under my posted opinion. I'm being notified of a conversation I'm not involved in.

[Asker]

I had responded to Wally all along, , imaginesketchy.. he has not responded me yet though

[slatyb]

If they pursued serious relationships, they wouldn't be single. Why? Some possibilities:
1) They don't initiate relationships for fear of rejection
2) They are avidly pursuing some activity that is more interesting to them than being in a relationship
3) They are out of the mainstream in some way and haven't met a sympathetic woman. I had a very religious uncle who didn't date until he was around 40. He met a woman at church of a similar age who was still living at home and they have been very happy together.

[AynonOMouse]

I'm single with no kids. I want to find someone to have a family with. I want a younger girl that has no kids and has similar morals as I do.
I would not want someone that is of an age that isn't good to produce kids and create a family together.
I don't do ONS/hook ups.
I won't get married again though because I have learned my lesson from past experience. I'm not going to rush into having kids until I feel I can trust the person more. People can be messed up and have bad motives in my experience.

[Asker]

Well good for you that u do want kids until the right lady comes along but becauase you do want to start a family even if it marriage is not involved. you know your goals and you know that u want to develop some kind of relationship with the woman you choose to start a family with,

[LovinLife1969]

Yeah. Just hard to find

[WalterRadio]

It is incredibly expensive to be married (even more expensive to get divorced) and I am not interested in being constrained to having sex with only one woman.

The other problem is that if I settled for just one woman forever, she would get older. My way is that even though I get older, the women I am sleeping with do not.

It isn't that I don't have serious relationships, I do, but they are limited in scope.

[Asker]

I mean that is your personal case that u think like that But it means hat for u sex is more important tan anything else right? For me sex is important but not my top priority there are things more important that just physical sex in a relationship with a man.

I mean sex is top priority in prostitutes because that is their life and that is what they do to earn a living and I bet most of them are single and not in a steady relationship with guys.

[Welshman2]

I'm 47 and have been single for the past five years and will probably remain so for the rest of my life. Not because I want to be but because, in my experience, women are money grabbing, cheating liars. Might be a few out there that are not but I have yet to meet one!

[Asker]

What can you say of those single guys still at theri mid age who are struggling wiwth the mid life crisis and instead they like the girls they met to pay for them so the money grabbing intis case are the men not the women.

[Welshman2]

I have never had a woman pay for anything but you are right, there are some male leeches too

[Asker]

I know ther are men leeches specially when they asume the lady HAS money to pay so they tak advanage of that even if they work too. What can you say to those men who are like that?

[Welshman2]

They are leeches just like the women that get gullible men to buy them drinks all night in the pub!

[madgoat]

I would guess that a single man in his 40s, generally speaking, is through divorce. Having been through that pain, wants to have fun.
Women, generally speaking, want to have kids. It's a biological urge and society expects them to do so which is why a young woman is so attractive - they have that potential.
An older woman with no kids seems unusual to me. Maybe she can't for medical reasons. A few don't want to which is fine. They'll have a nice life style.

[eatadic]

Kinda like what your aunt says. At let's say 25 - you've been dating for at most 10 years. Any given relationship takes work to get to the point of sex.

As you hit your 30s, single women in their 30s can't be as picky as they were in their 20s. So the likelyhood of sex goes up.

As you hit your 40s you've been having "easy" sex with women for a good 10-20 years. No way would you go back to a girl who acts like she's in her 20s and is saving it for the "right time".

[WalterRadio]

You must not be dating any women about 20. I find it easier to get a 20 year old college girl into bed than someone my age, even if I wanted to (I don't).

[Asker]

@WalterRadio Why u think it is better to get a 20yrd old girl into bed thana women int heir 40´s or more? Difficult to convince, we get pickier and you get desesperate? HAHA!!

[Asker]

@WalterRadio Why u dont hit womnen in ur same age group?

[WalterRadio]

@kitty71
"thana women int heir 40´s"
Available women over 30 are overweight, sagging, bitchy, demanding and carry baggage. There are some very nice, attractive women over 30, but they are ALWAYS happily married. The women that are available are someone else's rejects.

Meanwhile, there are plenty of available women about 20 who are sweet, smart, funny, super attractive. They are going to be the ones that are not available later.

[Asker]

@WalterRadio Im thinking you are just focusing on theh looks rather tan personality which holds more a relationship tan anything else. Looks are not that important in a relationship what it matters the most are attitude personality and looks can't cover that

[Asker]

@WalterRadio You said "There are some very nice, attractive women over 30, but they are ALWAYS happily married.
The women that are available are someone else's rejects"
Not true!! and do not generalize

I know women over 35 who are still single never married and very attractive and they are not someoens rejects.

[Asker]

@WalterRadio You want to meet an example of the women I just described? HAHA!! Me:. Im 46 I dotn have a boyfriend currently or even Im dating, I ad never been married, I dont have kids, I had been single my whole life. and I dont fool around.

[WalterRadio]

@kitty71
"Me"
No, you look sagging.

I might consider dating one of your nieces, though.

[Asker]

@WalterRadio Yes coming from a guy who does not ahve a pictures on this site. Are you taht good looking? then? I dont have nieces or nephews. No wonder why you can't find a girl and you would never tolared being with someone even if itis not serious. You are looking for the pefect woman in the look department. who please you and keep quiet and shut up when you give orders.

[Asker]

@WalterRadio or ladies who had plastic surgeries to try to look perfect with perfect b oobies perfect but and perfect bodies even if they are all FAKE AND PLASTIC with with 0 of intelligence.

[Asker]

@WalterRadio For your information not all (foucs on not ALL) women over 30 are overweight if tthey are active and do practice some sports. I can't send you potos fo women who are over 30 and they are as fit as they could be and they are married and have kids or they are over 30 single and still fit.

[Asker]

@WalterRadio I meant I can send you potos of women over 30 even in their 40´s who are fit and you wotn beleive they are 40 or more and soem of them even are married and have children.

[WalterRadio]

@@kitty71
"No wonder why you can't find a girl"
I have not been without a girl since I graduated college, and usually I have two or three going at a time, but only one at the moment and I am not actively looking for another. Somewhere between a dozen and a score of them would have married me if I asked them, including my current.

"ladies who had plastic surgeries"
By dating younger women, I don't have to experience that. Let me tell you about one of my former gf's. She is a semi-famous actress who is on some of those "most beautiful women in the world" lists that are out there. We might still be together if we were not afraid of being in the tabloids. She is a perfect 10 and I am a tough grader.

I have dated a couple of other minor actresses and several models. But also medical students, law students, PhD students, nurses, etc.

My current girlfriend is in college, and scored in the top few percentile on her SAT's, almost as high as me, and aiming for law school.

[Asker]

@WalterRadio My point exactly you are looking for women who for you looks and sex are more important than anything else that is why for you having a steady girl is not in your goals. Cause why you settle with one chick who is ugly when you can have a lot just to please y ou and they are good looking beause you are surrounded by that environment of plastic life. Cuase that is what Hollywood is, plastic appearance fake life and polluted one. There are exceptions of celebs but I can count them with my hand,

[WalterRadio]

@kitty71
You are doing a very fine job of illustrating why I and many others refuse to date women over the hill like you are.

It is first that you are bitchy. You are also jealous of other (younger) women. And then we talked about your sagging looks. None of the young women I date have any of those problems.

And were does this "plastic" thought come from? The women I date do not have plastic surgery, they don't need it because they are like 20 years old. It is middle aged women that do that.

[Asker]

@WalterRadio Im not jealous of younger women at all. Many of them are immature I dont have plastic susrgery and I will never look to ahve one. The thing is it seems that for u older women do not value as much jsut because they are not physically good looking or something like that.

[eatadic]

@WalterRadio @kitty71 - y’all either get a room or take this to PM, lol. My phone is blowing up.

[Asker]

To eatadic you said guys in his 40 wo t like to get back to women who acts like girls saving ut and prude in other words a virgin or a girl who respects her self so much that she wot have sex just with anybody she meets and ran into her life. For me that is honorable and responsible she ain't easy to convince j she is giving herself her place with men ust because society dictates a woman has to have sex and stop being a virgin at a certain age does not mean she is less of a woman.

[eatadic]

I didn't say she was less of a woman, What I'm saying is that I've been sexually active for 30 years and I'm used to a level of sexual activity. I'm not going to go into a relationship where that sexual activity is put on the back burner or becomes something I have to "work" for.

[Outside_LookingIn]

I think it's a combination of all the things you mentioned.
You know yourself, as you get older, you get more particular about what you want.
Plus life gets busy; it's time consuming dealing with many women that don't match up well just to find one.

[Outside_LookingIn]

I think as people get older, they tend to play less games. Men and Women both.
So if they both want sex, they cut the chase and get to it. Why waste time?

[Asker]

You are talking from a men perspective obviously but what about a woman int he same exact situation? We are more judged than men in the same exact position.

[Outside_LookingIn]

Perhaps you're correct on that point.
Let's be honest here: judgements of the masses really don't account for anything. It's just white noise. People are always going to be judged; some more than others. In the end, individuals need to do what's right for them

[Asker]

Interesting artcile

www.today.com/.../reason-why-men-marry-some-women-not-others-t74671

[Outside_LookingIn]

Very good article.

I think a lot of it has to do with life experience. For men and women. For example, was there an example of a healthy relationship when that individual was a child? Was there Abuse? Were they and only child? Have they been through a bad relationship themselves?
Lots of factors involved and they're going to look a little different for everyone with the same outcome... which leads to your question

[Asker]

I know a case of a man who is 44 years old. He is currently single, he has siblings (all male) who are married, I beleive he is the only one who is not. One guy sibling went through separationn with a mean lady but then he went back to her, something he does nto understand maybe beaus eof the only kid they have. I believe he was married many years go but never had kids and was married 4 years after that he stopped dating and now he does nto believe in serious relationship he does not want to live a complicated life being tied down to a serious relationship even if it does not lead to marriage, just the fact of going steady for him is something not for him, he only wants to be single enjoy his freedom and maybe int he course of that having fun with women. So what do uu think of this particular guy over 40 and still single with no future for a committed relationship now. Who knows if later in his future as more he ages he wants something moreo serious but I doubt it.

[Outside_LookingIn]

My guess is that he had a bad example or no example of what a good relationship should be like when he was growing up. Secondly, he probably lacks a good friend to talk about his dating stories with. not bedroom stories; stories of dates that went well and not so well. Someone to coach him to get better.
For those reasons, he's probably feeling boxed in, depressed and like there is no hope.

[Asker]

Probably you are right that he is hopeless and he is closed that he does not want to be in a relationship not even if it is not even serious not even want to have female Friends at all

[Outside_LookingIn]

Well at this stage of our lives, people are more reluctant to change, even if for the better. We're creatures of habit. not always good habits mind you, but habits.
May I ask, is this someone you are/were interested in pursuing?

[Asker]

Yes it is something Im pursuing

[Asker]

I can PM if u want

[Outside_LookingIn]

Sure, that's fine with me

[HereIbe]

It's simple: Men of that age who are truly interested in such a relationship have no problem getting one--unless they are severely damaged goods. The remainder just aren't interested, but they're no more common at that age than any other. The difference is that the younger ones have a harder time getting with someone.

[Kiran04]

Because we don't have to. Younger women are willing to put out for free, so what exactly is in it for us getting into a serious relationship? Divorce, financial ruin, and kids we're not allowed to see? Hahahahahaahahahahahahahaahah! Pass.

[Asker]

Not all women are like that I hate when men generalize and sterotype all women are like that, not all. It is like us sayinbg all me are the same Cheaters and unfaithful some are sure butu not all I bet.

[Asker]

You mention younger women who put out for free, what about women in the same age group category as thsoe mid age single never married men. Single women who are not married either and they are not even dating or have boyfriend either.

[Asker]

Is it wrong then fo ru to date women in ur sama ge group category beause it is more difficult if your intentionns are only sex though?

[Kiran04]

Women DO say all men are cheaters and unfaithful, that men are responsible for all their problems, that we're all rapists and murderers, and that we're literally Hitler, so I'll generalize all I want. And women in the same age category are past their prime. And my intentions change as conditions change. For now, they are just sex.

[jessture]

Because men know how to be happy independently. Women need a man to blow all their emotional baggage on. Men don't need that.

[Asker]

But dont deny that men need women also for some things (imnot talking about just sex)

[jessture]

What do I need women for in my life? I'm perfectly capable of having a job, paying my bills, cooking my own food and cleaning my own place. What single thing do I need to complete my life?

And on the topic of sex? A man in his 30s has just as many options as a woman in her 20s. I don't need to try to have sex anymore, it will just happen.

[Asker]

You were born from a woman!! LOL!!!

[jessture]

No shit! Way to change the topic.

What, do I, a man in my 30s, need from women that i can't already provide myself?

[Asker]

Just sex if you want kids LOL!!

[Anonymous]

I am quite disgusted by women, so I will become that kind of man lol. Cuddles, sex, friendship all ok, but I will never want to tie myself to a woman..

[Asker]

Dont generalize that all women re the same, probably the ones you met and were involved with were the ones who treated you badly. Just saying do not generalize

[WalterRadio]

@kitty71
"Just saying do not generalize"
But that is what you are doing, although even worse, because generalizations are based on common traits, and you are presuming traits against use middle aged men and our younger girlfriends that aren't even true.

[LovinLife1969]

I’m 48. And have a huge sex drive. Crave it as much as a teenager. Faithful and serious. Is hard to find.

[Asker]

you mean faithful and serious women are hard to find? WHy u think it happens like that?

[LovinLife1969]

I honestly don’t know. Bad people ruin good people. And good people get to the point where they don’t want a relationship from being hurt in the past. So good people suffer from it.

[Asker]

Well I can say the same thing about men in our age groupp who are like that

[LovinLife1969]

This is true

[Asker]

But u do have a point bad people ruin good people and at the end that good person does not want a relationship as they dont want to get through the same shit all over again even if there are good women out there and for us looking for good men become scarce for the irresponsability of others who made men to change h is way of thinking in regards of relationbship: bad past relationships, bad example of relationships maybe fromtheir parents, life is too difficult now for something serious so no complications, they could handle it before but now they dont want to handle and deal with it. so they close their minds to the possibility that not all people are the same butu also that does not mean a woman want ssomething serious just a company maybe.

[LovinLife1969]

Very true.

[LovinLife1969]

Nice pic too by the way

[Frank44]

Some have been burned, secretly gay, they don't have a sex drive, and they don't want to be controlled

[Asker]

But not all have lo sex drive right?

[Asker]

or they do but a bit higher at that age?

[Frank44]

No it's all down hill from there without a real desire or some type of help it seems

[Asker]

Why woukd a guy of 44 years old single no kids no datig live on his own enjoy his freedom will like to have sex so much and is turn much ro a 46 yrd old single never married before lady? If u think he is going down hill in his sex drive. I mean the guy has urges with this lady per se

[Asker]

And it seems he desires her

[Decentguy]

maybe because of bad past experiences, or they have trust issues, which are not much of a different thing

[Nice222]

Marriage is expensive and risky. And divorce rates are too high. Marriage just is not worth it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is a sham. It isn't as sacred as it's made out to be... I'm only 21 and I can see that...

[D_Bone_Steak]

The chances of being redpilled go up with age.

[Asker]

red pilled?

[D_Bone_Steak]

Damn... how would I explain red pills? Don't get me wrong but I'm coming from a position that figures you don't know what it means at all. Remember that movie where Neo has to chose between a red or blue pill... one is the harsh truth which is not enjoyable and the other is simple ignorance is bliss fundifull stuff.

When it comes to woman and being a man... there is an education process. At the beginning many men have nothing more than cartoons feeding them the 'nice guy syndrome' scenario as and effective measure to get laid. I don't think I need to go deep into why it's an unsuccessful practice. They're friend zoned and get to watch so called 'assholes' fuck the girl of their dreams.

Then there's those dude that get fucked over by women because nobody ever taught them the pitfalls many women will offer them. If you have empathy at all, like I do for raped chicks, you'll feel sorry for them.

'Red pilled' is the knowledge of all this horrible shit.

[MrOracle]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE7PKRjrid4

[genericname85]

Cause the cost outweighs the benefits.

[Asker]

So u think women are just a burden in men life? That sounds abit of sexist and unfair. We do give birth for you we are the ones carrying the kids not you and suffer the symptoms of bad pregnacies, where is the burden you carry? You are the ones who neglect the kids (not all parents of course) and women stick being single mothers., so the heavy burden we carry, you just leave and contineu to have fun.

[genericname85]

Well we just wanna have fun in our lives. Life is serious enough as is and living up to all the expectations women have is more of a chore than anything.

[genericname85]

There is just not enough in it for us

[WalterRadio]

@kitty71
"women stick being single mothers"
If I got a girl pregnant and she gave birth, it would cost me nearly $10,000 a month for the next 18 years.

Women who get pregnant without being married are usually stupid. But there are rare cases where they are being smart.

[Asker]

@WalterRadio there are women who get pregnant without married but her relationship with the guy could last a lot of years, theare couples who have more tan 10yrs married and still are together as if they were married.

[genericname85]

marriage isn't for everybody. it's expensive as fuck and it bears no benefits whatsoever. so that's why guys that age probably stop thinking about this alltogether.

it just doesn't hold enough value for them.

[Asker]

How do you know when being married is not just for you but they are for others? You can't foreseen that

[genericname85]

i didn't get that. however i don't need to be a fortune teller to know that marriages are just a huge waste of money xD

even investing most of your time not even being married may not be worth it, cause for some it's too much of a hassle for what little you get out of it.

[Asker]

and what is the Little a man can get out of? If you say only sex plizzzz dont go there. Why everything has to be related to sex in a relationship ause is not just sex

[Asker]

If you say that even if a person is not married but is dating steady is also a waste of money, so why then couples live together first before married if they have the same mentality, otherwise they would not even move in together inthe first place.

[genericname85]

well sex is the reason you get into it. i mean sure there are some minor things like companionship and emotional support but really you can get that from anyone. you don't need a partner for that.

being in a relationship is really just a western romantic phantasy. if you analyze it objectively, it doesn't make so much sense

now of course there are lots of guys that are still into it even at that age but you gotta find those.

[genericname85]

some just enjoy never settling. that's how it is. settling isn't for everyone.

[Asker]

I won't get into a relationship just for sex, there are other fulfilling things in a relationship that sex cannot cover and thereare couples who can proof that. Maybe indeed something serious is not for y ou cause you focus more on other things and other people focus on other more important things for them and proabbly sex is not one of them and they are happy.

[genericname85]

of course. i'm not saying you should get into that if you don't want to. i was just reasoning for why those guys decide that way. if you don't want it, don't go with it.

[Bachnalian]

He's old enough to know better.