boyfriend has this ex that I'm feeling leery about. He told me that she was abusive, unstable, bipolar, combative, hid him from her family, didn't want to be seen with him in public, etc. They don't have kids together, don't work together, and have no common friends together. From what his family have said, they didn't like her at all and was relieved when she was out of the picture. They only dated for 4 months. He said that he only keeps in contact with her because she is suicidal, attempted suicide while they were dating, and has no friends. Ok, but if she's really like that then she needs professional help, not him. He's not a therapist. I don't understand why he keeps in contact with her. I asked if he would like it if I kept in contact with an ex like that and of course the answer was no. I straight up asked him if he still has feelings for her and he said no but I'm finding that hard to believe. I don't understand why he won't just block her and move on. He said that he loves me and wants to marry me this year but I don't want to continue dealing with his ex calling him with her suicidal baloney or to ask him to file her taxes for her or to ask basic life skill questions like how to pay a bill. This is enough.
Could he still have feelings for his ex?
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1Opinion
It's possible that your boyfriend still has some feelings for his ex, especially if he's still in contact with her despite her abusive and unstable behavior. However, it's also possible that he's simply trying to help her out of concern for her health and well-being.
It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your concerns and to set clear boundaries around his communication with his ex. It's understandable that you don't want to continue dealing with her calls or requests for help, and it's important to let your boyfriend know how this is affecting you and your relationship.
It may be worth suggesting that your boyfriend encourage his ex to seek professional help, and to take a step back from their communication to focus on your relationship and your future together. If he's not willing to respect your boundaries or make changes to his behavior, it may be worth reconsidering whether this relationship is meeting your needs and whether it's worth continuing.