Guys do you think its fair to get girls in love with you then you dissappear?

[Anonymous]

Please no response " girls do it too"

I genuinely need to see I wasn't shit to him! I'm just hurt

[PhenomenalQueen]

I’ve been in this exact situation… move on, they don’t care.. maybe he does, but he doesn’t care enough to actually move forward and change things. I waited for over 4 years for a guy like this who had “commitment issues” “trust issues” etc… the excuses just kept flowing. He liked how things were but I had already fallen for him.. I watched as he went on “dates” with all of these other women.. he never let me forget how much he “liked me” and “appreciated me”. Why am I saying all of this? It was all bs.. if he cared, he would’ve been right beside me, no matter what the excuse was. Please love yourself more than him right now and don’t waste your good years. He could be a great guy, but it sounds like he didn’t choose you. I’m sorry if it sounds harsh. I just wish someone would’ve told me that.

[Asker]

I'm confused why he fought for my attention tho. I know he's on a healing journey like I am. I'm just missing him cause of the empty space between us. I'll move forward with out him I'm just stuck like damn...

[PhenomenalQueen]

Because he knew it would eventually pay off to where he could keep milking you and you would think you guys had something special.. that’s how he kept coming back and taking from you. It meant something to you, but not to him. That’s the sick game that they play.. they prey on women like us. If I were you, I would ask myself.. why do I feel like he deserves my love, attention, etc.. why does he deserve to be missed? He’s not worth it if he has me feeling this way.. he should be here making me feel complete, not like I’m less than worth it.. (that’s what I would tell myself)

[PhenomenalQueen]

The right person will never leave you feeling this way, only the wrong people do this to us.

[Asker]

Girl I wasn't paying him no mind. Just here and there I'm like damn he's fine. He's been trying to get my attention the whole time and going harder and harder. Maybe he gave up and moved on. It's whatever tho. I appreciate your help because you are right it's just I wasn't paying him no mind for like 10 years because he's very popular and has thousands of other bitches & other reasons why I never chased after him. It's totally cool tho cause It's nothing emotional as of now so I'm just horny lmao

[Asker]

I fuck with him too but it is what it is. I'll be aight

[PhenomenalQueen]

That’s how it was for me too girl… I wasn’t interested in him and he played his cards right to get what he wanted…

[Asker]

Did you guys have sex? If so I take things for how they are and move on but I don't appreciate the playing feelings and emotions. I do want something real etc. But I don't think I will with him. He's back and forth.
He's go be with other men to you love me for me etc bs. He's confused

[Asker]

It's still all love I don't hate the guy but yes he needs to get things figured out

[PhenomenalQueen]

Yeah you’re literally in the same situation that I was in… We went a long break without having sex.. it was over a year, there was no contact… then he messaged me out of the blue.. ghosted me and then we met up a few months later when I came back in town.. we talked and that’s when he told me that he ghosts take when things feel “too real”.. and a few more months later we had sex for the first time in after more than a year and a half later.. but ultimately, it was all the same thing girl.. he did what he had to do to fuck me. That was it.. that’s the only purpose. He said a bunch of things to make me feel like he cared, but I’ve finally snapped out of it.. he doesn’t care.. he will never change.. I’m not the one he chose and that’s okay.. he said some things that he thought I wanted to hear which was, the appreciated me, he cared about me.. he realizes that I care about him more than he thought, etc… but it was all to make sure I would still be there… I told him last month, if he ghosted me again, he lost me for good… he called my bluff, or maybe that was his way of showing me to my face that he didn’t give a damn.. but that’s his loss girl. He lost someone who was really in his corner.. I stayed loyal for 4 years.. I’m done now.. I hope he finds someone who loves him the way I did and I hope she’s as gentle and patient as I was.. he told me that I was very kind to him and that’s why he kept coming back.. so it’s like, if any of that was real, why would he walk away from that? You know? Eventually I told myself I’m done guessing… I need someone who’s sure about me and picks me the first time.. I hope some of what I told you can help give you some light.

[PhenomenalQueen]

But I feel the exact same way you did… I wanna know why he played with me if he knew I was real.. I really love that man.. i don’t hate him.. but, like I said girl, he just didn’t chose me… he wasn’t ready for me.. he wasn’t ready for the type of love I bring and he wasn’t ready to change and be the man who I needed him to be… maybe that’s what’s going on with you.. that’s what it sounds like.

[Asker]

Me and him never had sex..
It's mostly just us flirting for 10 years lol

[Asker]

But if shit ain't progress yet imma just keep it moving its cool

[PhenomenalQueen]

Yeah, I would still keep moving.. that’s a long time to be waiting around for something to happen… but maybe you’re one of the lucky girls.. I feel like good relationships happen when you’re friends first.. but you also have to be careful not to be the one he’s settling for.

[misogynistic_pig]

Men should live their lives without being emotionally dependent on women, so there is no consensus as to whether or not it is fair for women to fall for them and then disappear.

However, you may see falling in love and disappearing as a sign of human nature and the individual freedom of women to make decisions about their feelings and relationships.

It's important to remember that they seek to focus on themselves and their own happiness, so if a woman decides to disappear after falling in love with them, it shouldn't affect them on their path to emotional self-sufficiency.

In general, it promotes the personal empowerment of men, and the idea that they don't need the approval of women to be happy.

Therefore, some individuals may not see the disappearance of a woman as unfair, but simply as a fact of life that should not affect their own happiness and emotional well-being.

[Asker]

I'm just upset I didn't get to tell him my feelings or anything. Of the sort.

[Shamalien]

No…you should at least offer to talk on the phone or meetup and give them some closure. Same thing happened to me, genders reversed. This girl was working overtime to get me in love with her. I was aloof. When she finally got to me, and I reciprocated, the indecisive push and pull began. I am left more fucked up than ever. Won’t even have a phone call with me to give me closure, plays victim on me now because I called her out for being cold (no name calling, just matter of fact stating I’m saddened she didn’t show me the respect I showed her)

it can happen to anyone…if someone shows signs of mental or emotional instability, move really, really slowly and cautiously…

[IAmAzzurra]

Insecure guys do this. They need it for their ego.

A relationship between the two of you would never have lasted because he’s too emotionally immature.

[Asker]

Why would he be insecure?
He has everything a man could want.

[KrakenAttackin]

@IAmAzzurra. He's not insecure, he has lots of options.

[IAmAzzurra]

@KrakenAttackin Guys with lots of options keep them open and keep going. I’m all for it. Why not?

This question is about guys who deliberately lead a girl on for the sake of his own ego. That belongs to the deeply insecure.

A secure man doesn’t need anyone else to boost his self esteem.

[KrakenAttackin]

This guy wants to fuck, and women throw themselves at him... so he fucks.

[IAmAzzurra]

@KrakenAttackin There are two different types of those guys. There are the ones who have the charisma to get those girls, but it’s sex. He doesn’t care if that girl actually likes him or not. She’s a number.

There is the other guy ( and some girls do this too) who places his value in how many people are into him. Anyone who sets someone up just to hurt them has their own issues.

[Beatrix7]

its not a nice feeling hunni ure wirth better fk him he's a idiot doesn't deserve you

[Beatrix7]

i wouldn't cheat its to much heartache i would rather help than hurt its not fair hurting another because av been hurt i would rather love and care u are much better than sleeeze balls like him doll fk him he's a scum bag

[Asker]

I appreciate the support. It's okay hopefully I get over it

[Beatrix7]

iam saying this to u hunni cause i kniw how you feel right now am still in stress with what my ex done to me and still talking to him like a daft bitch and am going to face to face therapy to help me just get him out of my mind be able to stop talking and visiting him a just dont want you or anyone hurt because its such a hard depressing thing to get over i understand you

[Asker]

Dang girl I hope you feel better love
Take it one day at a time

[Asker]

Thank you for the support

[Beatrix7]

i hope you get better to thank you for yor support if u knew what this prick did to me you would call me daft aswe my family have told me am out of my mind for doing it for even still loving him talking to him and visiting him

[Haha456]

thats not a good person. decent people don't do that kind of stuff. you doged a bullet. A guy like that who enjoys hurting or using people is not a good person. Be glad he left.

[kakaling]

I don't know your whole story.

If the guy is always attracted to you for years without any girlfriend, he definitely loves you like hell, but he has some personal problem inside him unsolved. You could probably help him to open up.

If it is just a really quick and short duration sudden fall in love, forget about it and move on, you fall in love too easily. Some guys are just born love magnet.

[Asker]

He's had a girlfriend. She was extremely pretty. But it seems he always kept his eyes on me. I am his friend and I care for him. Always. Even if we don't link up I care for him. He's been through A LOT of shit. So have I. We are both on a healing journey and I want my friend to know how proud I am of him. But unfortunately I think I may have fell for him. But I'm being a brat. I don't like this. He's disappeared but I don't know why I know he's working on himself. But no notice? Ah... it hurts💔

[kakaling]

So, he is single now? He probably not over with his Ex, and she was extremely pretty.
He need time, probably a lot, years maybe.
This kind of guy is extremely attractive, it will be very hard to wait for him, if he can't get over with his Ex.
I was like this for many years, unable to get over from a girl I loved.
Missed many girls that is interested in me along the years.
Do not wait for him, he need time to get over it.
If you found another one just moves on. None of you is wrong.

[Asker]

Him and his last girl dated like 6+ years ago lol I know for sure he's over her as he's reacted to my sexual advances. Iran that doesn't always necessarily mean he's over her but it's been a very long time AND he's been in another short lived relationship after that. I mean he's cute he ain't all that extremely attractive lol his personality is sexy af and shit and his vibe. I can't help myself but to dream and shit and I want him

[kakaling]

Ask him to open up with you with his problems. He has to confronted it. I had the same issue. Sometimes time doesn't solve the problem, he needs confrontation, to be able to finally love again.
Many guys suppress their emotion issue, and is unable to open up to anyone, I am one.

[Whatisthatname]

That depends on what you mean with "get girls in love with you". It really depends on what they did. Did they deceive you to get you interested to gain something? Then it's shitty.

Did they show interest and you didn't reciprocate it in a while? Then I guess they it's not totally on them for losing interest and walking away.

[Gingerbread_GB]

I think you know the answer is obviously no, it's not fair. You met a bad guy, and try to think positive. At least he's out of your life, he's no longer messing up your life.

[RavVid]

I think it is wrong to waste peoples time. If he has marked you down as a girl to have fun with I could see an exit stage left r right would be what he might do.

[Anemone978]

It's an asshole move but I guess it does feel good to have people chase you for your affection..

[LiamJHayden]

Not fair, but part of reality. People are often not on the same page in relationships. There is usually one who is more committed, and sometimes people use each other.

[Anonymous]

It would be unfair to ask this guy to stay with you if he doesn't want you.

[Anonymous]

No. But it's not fair for women to do it to men. And women doing this is FAR MORE PREVALENT. The best think you can do is learn to control your feelings so this doesn't happen more than it needs to.

[KrakenAttackin]

It's not about fair, Chad's balls gotta get drained.

[YourExLover69]

Forget about him move on babes

[OddBeMe]

No that’s sadistic. But not unheard of.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes it’s fair

[Asker]

How so

[BarryLiverstone]

Because he wasn’t in love so he left. It’s unfair if he faked love and stayed

[Asker]

I'm not in love I don't think
More in last. But I care about him and his wellbeing. I guess him doing this was showing he could give a rats ass about me. That's fair

[BarryLiverstone]

Glad we agree it’s fair. Your feelings of hurt certainly are valid. But wouldn’t you want to move on and fall in love with someone new next year anyway?

[Asker]

It's weird when me & him have history. Like 10 years.
I wish I could forget him. I should forget him.

[BarryLiverstone]

You can’t forget him quickly after 10 years. Even when you start to date someone else you will remember him

[Asker]

I hate my life bro

[BarryLiverstone]

#yolo.. get busy livin or get busy ______