When a man tells you to be patient what is he really telling you?

[Anonymous]

He's not interested?

Please be kind to me.

[FilmGuy93]

Why is it that questions like this never have any context in the details section? The events and details surrounding that comment are critically important.

[Christoff92]

Depending on what you're trying to do with him. Does it involve sexual pleasure 🤔

[Asker]

I have no idea what I want.
Does it matter though?
If it's romantic and he's telling me to be patient? If it's sex he's telling me to be patient?

[Christoff92]

Ok. Well, he doesn't want to rush with you. Assuming you might want to back down a little if he moves forward. He wants to make sure that you're getting into the mode without you trying hesitant 😊

[Asker]

I no longer want to rush anything.
Matter of fact the brakes need to be pumped a bit if it gets there. Anyway thanks for your help

[Christoff92]

No problem. He's just concerned about you. By not really trying to get nervous and hesitant.

[Asker]

I highly doubt that Chris this man can have any girl. There's no way I'd make him nervous. My heart feels warm when I think of him and I can no longer go on his page because last time I cried.💔 I'm hoping. Hoping I can move on quick and just go away and be okay thanks for your help

[Christoff92]

You're welcome. He's not ready for a relationship with you, then just move on.

[Asker]

People say that like it's easy lol
Crazy

[Christoff92]

Oh, just wait to see if he'll come around.

[Asker]

You encouraging me gives me hope. But if you look at the anon on here he's telling me to leave him be. It hurts but it's for the best (I'm in denial right now too) but I have to be strong

[Anonymous]

What’s the context of this response? Why is he telling you to be patient?

[Asker]

You know I'm going to be honest.
He may not even been speaking to me. It was a group text.
I'm just super confused on why he never told me in person or was always hidden about his feelings for me. Because it seems to me that he's been planting some seeds. And I finally caught on. Mostly clouded. Things hadn't bloomed yet because there was tons of rain for many planted seeds. Lol go figure

[Asker]

But again I'm most likely delusional
And I don't even really know him that well. It would be amazing to. But he's not ready to come out per say

[Asker]

To me and let me know :(

[Opinion Owner]

So why not ask him out?

[Asker]

Because he may not feel the same way. Like yes attraction may be there but I need to know how he feels, thinks too. Like he's a beautiful person inside and out. But I just need to get over this because I'm mostly being delusional

[Asker]

I'm getting player vibes

[Asker]

Not sure. How do you see it?

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so if these are the vibes you’re getting why you even entertaining this question?

[Asker]

You're right
All men are players I can't.

[Asker]

Thanks for your help
😭

[Asker]

Why not just come to me. That's what I don't understand. But yea

[Opinion Owner]

All men aren’t players. You’re just picking the wrong ones.

[Opinion Owner]

You sound a little pushy so that may be what’s turning him away too.

[Asker]

That's fine.
And yes all guys are players.
At least the guys I was into and vice versa they really like me but have to play some type of mind game. I'm not into that. At all. I run away fast

[Asker]

He's got millions of other women so fine.

[Opinion Owner]

So than sounds as though part of the problem is you since you keep attracting men like that.

[Asker]

How I'm a good girl. It's not my fault.
What is a woman's fault is what she accepts. I don't want to continue whatever he's doing so I will continue to leave it alone

[Opinion Owner]

Doesn’t matter I’d you’re a good girl or not. You’re saying you feel vibes of a player which can be sensed just like men can sense things off of women. Maybe not consciously but consciously both feel that vibe. No one goes out looking for a bad relationship, just happens to find you. Besides if I may ask why are you single at this age? Were you in a long term marriage or something?

[Asker]

That's harsh. I can only hate myself for the things I've accepted. I'm just confused why someone doesn't approach me if he liked me. I say player vibes cause it's 5+ years of the bantering. No marriage... yet. and don't go in on well I'm old and hit the wall bs. That doesn't and will never stop me from still being happy and doing what I want. Just FYI because guys on here do that.

[Asker]

You have no idea about my relationships etc past and present and future I just wanted to know why he did this.

[Opinion Owner]

Then he’s not interested in you the way you’re interested in him if it’s been 5 years. I ask because your past may have something to do w why you meet men like this. But you have it all figured out

[Asker]

I don't and I totally agree with you. He deserves a woman he wants. I don't want half ass anything. My past... we all have a past. I guess it's all my fault I was hurt by the ones I loved. Bet. Thanks

[Opinion Owner]

It’s not w to rely your fault but have you looked into why you may attract men like this? Maybe your father was like this I don’t know.

[Asker]

My dad being a player? He loved only one woman. My mom. Those two. I'm not going to get into. A lot of good looking men get women... rich or poor. Rich and poor they both have options.
I've seen it. Lived it. Got broken by it. I no longer care about money. You can have it all and be empty af. I just need him.
No I dont.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so why does it seem like you talk to yourself a lot? Like you have some serious issues? I just making that statement based on your responses. It’s like you know he’s bad for you but you keep going after it.

[Asker]

I'm mad I didn't see it before lol that's all but yes I do. have serious issues at times and he'd be way better without me.

[Opinion Owner]

Issues from past relationships in regards to men or issues from trauma growing up or something?

[Asker]

They go hand in hand. I was only reckless because I was hurt. And hurt people hurt people. Not saying it is okay but that's what I did. Half the time I didn't know I was actually hurting people? Most to me just wanted my attention. I needed a void to fill. I needed a therapist. I finally got one years ago and have been working on myself since. Men are weird. The men to me were players yet confused I didn't gravel to their feet. I danced with the devil in college. He was the worst of the fucking worst. So the games most of the guys were playing I already saw through them. But one guy (guy in question) would always interfere... when I wasn't even thinking about him. My mind was on someone else maybe. It's confusing but he was telling me I'm not his type. Okay? Go be with the broad then lol 8 years later I made a comment saying I'd smash or something horrible lol and poor baby I didn't realize what he was even going through but he still replied. It's always been years of passing with comments and such. But everything is hitting me like bricks. And he must be my lesson. I acted a damn fool. Lol and I'm pretty sure I lost him.💔 I'll get over it. But damn

[Opinion Owner]

Well I’m sorry to hear that. Sounds like you went through a lot. A lot of women, men as well don’t realize how good things were or could have been had they picked that person that was interested in them. I don’t think all men are players as you say. I mean you said your dad wasn’t so that’s one there. My step dad wasn’t, he’s still w my mom after 40 something years. So have you ever had a serious relationship? What kind of things did you work on in therapy if you don’t mind me asking?

[Asker]

I'd love to tell you my whole life story but I've learned with an anon guy here just likes to use my pain as ammo. I'm no longer like that. I no longer want to fight. Don't have it in me to care for fighting much anymore. 40 years huh? Cheers to another 40. I love love. It's a blessing to actually see it, experience watching it. Being around it.. I never really did. I saw fighting. With almost everyone. My mom and dad are still married but separated. Not sure why lol I know they still love eachother low key. As much as they "hate" eachother. Therapy... self love. Self respect. I deserve kindness and that I matter. It made me love others too. Have kindness show kindness. I've realized I was being blessed with people I've passed by in life. Even if we beefed they all taught me many things. I think they are all beautiful inside. Even the ones hurt, show pain.. sometimes madness.. We all have been in pain and it's not cool to use that against eachother or against that person. When I think about it I think of how we can turn our pain into stories. Beautiful and or sad stories.. funny ones. Life is funny. How short it is. That's why I no longer want to take it for granted. Legit wanna be engulfed in love Even if it's friendship.

[Opinion Owner]

Is there a way for me find you so I don’t have to be anon?

[Asker]

Yes
Nolivehere456

[Opinion Owner]

I “followed” you but can’t send a message so if you’d like to send me one first

[Asker]

I followed you back can you pm me? I can't send you anything

[Sparkie460]

I think it means he wants to take it slow.

[spartan55]

"this man could have any girl"
No he can't, you are seriously biased.

[Asker]

@spartan55 yes he can

[spartan55]

Yeah, no he can't. But keep telling yourself that.

[Asker]

@spartan55 what makes you think he can't?

[spartan55]

Because any time a woman says this it's because they are completely infatuated with the guy. Women naturally think everyone thinks and feels the same. Not so much.
It doesn't even seem like this guy is interested. Five years huh? Yeah keep waitin, and be patient..

[Asker]

@spartan55 he's hot I won't lie. But he has not anyone but at least 1 million lol
I don't even care anymore anyway. It's all good. Thanks for your opinion

[spartan55]

He hasn't made a move because he's not interested. How is it taking you so long to figure this out?

[Asker]

@spartan55 I get it.

[spartan55]

He means wait until light turns green.

[Asker]

Too bad I blew it lol

[Summeroflove]

Depends on what it is

[Asker]

Help me make sense of this.
I'm telling a guy I'm impatient because he's not making any moves. He then tells me to be patient. Player vibe Right?

[Summeroflove]

Well. If you show interest and he shows none back. Maybe it’s best to move on. Did you tell him you liked him? Asked him out? Etc.

[Asker]

I never told him I liked him. I never asked him out. I was just mad lol

[Asker]

I can't even say nothing I was being dumb. And feel even dumber. I'm just trying to figure it out but I will go away now. Thanks

[Summeroflove]

Well. If you said you like him and he has not given a clear answer. It’s maybe one or a few things

One is he’s playing games, two is he’s not interested in you, three is he likes you but for some reason or another he isn’t ready or doesn’t want to be with you.

You did your part by expressing feelings and if he likes you. The ball is in his court. If you feel like you’re starting to move on. Then…. You shot your shot and well. It’s probably not meant to be

[Asker]

Very true indeed
I never told him I liked him
Mostly flirting. But I need to take a loss as a loss. I gotta go mend this broken heart lol goodness I can't take it

[Asker]

He flirted back but that's just what it is is how I'm seeing things. I gotta take my own advice and take what he's showing me. Which is nothing I guess.

[Summeroflove]

Well you said you told him you liked him. If you haven’t told him you liked him or asked him out. Well…. Maybe there is a chance.

But if you expressed feelings and he isn’t being direct or flat rejected you. Well. It’s time to move on

[Asker]

Thank you deaf

[Asker]

Dear** omg I'm sorry

[Asker]

I type. wayyy too fast

[Summeroflove]

Your welcome it's okay happens to me too

[JustBeingReal727]

Could be testing the waters.

[Anonymous]

Be patient.