What should I do if a guy that use to bully me in primary school suddenly starts texting me after so many years?

Question

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Well you have a lot to think about

I had a kid on my bus that was kinda slow. He lived down the street from me.

One day I school I was walking down the hallway I could see kids gathered yelling screaming hit him . And stop hurting him I couldn't really see yo much and as I walked past I could it was JT the kid from down the street. Then as I kept walking I heard his voice.
Yelling in distress stop you're hurting me in that moment I stopped I thought to myself if I let this go on I'm just as guilty as that bully and it pissed me off it pissed me off that I hurt his voice say the things that I heard I turned around and I walked back and I pushed my way through the crowd and I grabbed a hold of that bully and I pushed him up against the wall and I said if you ever touch my f****** friend again I will kick your ass do you understand me and I pushed pulled him towards me and then slammed him against the wall again I said to you understand any kind of like looked at me and he mumbled yes
I seen that kid do this before to other kids and I looked around and I said it goes for anybody here in my voice right now you touch this kid I will beat the f*** out of you everybody kind of started clapping and I push my way back through the crowd JT ran after me Steve Steve thank you oh my god thank you this kid always beat me up every year even in my other school
I said JT just let me know if he touches you again
A couple days past and I see that bully picking on somebody again and I thought it was JT so I went over there
I could hear JT yelling stop hurting my friend stop hurting my friend
JT grab my arm and said I tried to do what you did but I couldn't do it and I walked up to the kid again and I said listen dude and I mean this time I threw him up against the wall I said if I ever see you picking on anybody again I said I'm going to f****** smash you I said knock it f*** off I'm serious dude this is your last time this is your last morning and I wanted to hit him right then and there but just staying the teacher was coming and I had a hold of the guy and the teacher looked at me and I said I don't care I said if he touches another one of these kids I'm going to pound his ass and you're the witness to this and I got up off the guy I started to walk away and I turned around and I looked at him and I said dude I don't know who beat you up and you're pissed off at the world but if you think you need to fight somebody fight somebody that can kick your ass why you picking on kids that you know you they won't even fight back cuz you're a p****.
So from that moment on now all JT's friends were my friends they were just like him kind of slow kind of different but they're still human beings

Just like you you are a human being most bullies only bully people they know they can get away with it from

No I'm not saying that this guy is going to bully you again but why even bring him back into your life if I knew you or if I went to school with you and I seen him picking on you I would smash him up don't get me wrong hitting somebody fighting to somebody is not the right answer but I've seen too many things in my life to let it go and said

If this guy has changed tough s*** you need to show him and tell him just by your actions is stay the f*** away from me you ruined part of my life you made me scared you made me think of things that I shouldn't have to even go through I wouldn't give the guy a time of day especially the odds are him doing it all over again

Now he could have came to his senses he might want to apologize he might also want to manipulate you since he knew he got away with it then than anything he does right now he knows that he's going to get away with it don't give him that opportunity show him who you are now he can f*** off and don't allow him to say one negative word to you about anything you need to stand up for yourself I can guarantee you this I can guarantee you are probably one of the most beautiful girls in the world and I think he knows it

But I also think no matter what reason he's trying to get a hold of you or talk to you it's a manipulation this is the guy that will be nice to you until he doesn't want to be are you piss him off or he's embarrassed about something or whoever beat him up beat him up again then he's going to take it out on you you already went through this in your life don't go through it again be happy don't let anybody ever do you wrong again anybody

Levin · Accepted Answer

Ignore? That's the foundation of am unhealthy relationship. I say it cause I see so often women with a compulsion for dating abusive men.

And you could say, well it was all those years ago.

But a nasty person as a child is probably still a nasty person as an adult. I never had the urge to bully anyone (not claiming I was perfect) as a child. There must be something within one to do such things in the first place.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I would text him right back:

It’s been a long time since we both were in school together. You may not remember me, but I remember you. I remember when you used to make fun of me and bully me in school. It's not something I've forgotten.

Now, after all these years, you suddenly start texting me. I won't stand for it. I don't want you contacting me in any way, so this is my warning to if you don't stop contacting me, and stay out of my life, I will take the necessary steps to ensure that you do.

I have plenty of ways to make sure that you no longer bother me. I can go to the authorities and report your harassment. I can contact your family members or employers and let them know the truth about your past conduct. I can also make sure that everyone knows about the way you used to treat me in school.

I'm sure you wouldn't want any of that to happen, so please keep your distance from now on. Don't think that just because you haven't seen me for a long time, that I have forgotten what you did to me. I'm watching you and if you come too close again, I'll be ready to do whatever it takes to keep you away from me.

Alli39 · Accepted Answer

Lowkey it depends. If the experience was traumatic, don't engage too much, if at all. It might be helpful to find closure or process latent emotions, but there's no need to stir up old negative emotions if you don't want to.

But if the experience wasn't traumatic and just like, annoying or unpleasant... does he seem like someone you'd bother with if you'd never met him before? People change a lot from elementary school to adulthood. If you're comfortable with it, then feel free to consider him as someone you've never met before. I know one person that I managed to meet for the first time three different times in my life, simply because there was so much time in between that I had no idea who he was the next time I saw him years later. If the guy seems interesting and isn't behaving like an elementary school kid, respond if you want to. First sign of a red flag? Dip and don't look back.

Anjoomkabir · Answer

You mentioned he said he liked you back then.

Its possible. A lot of primary school boys don't know how to appeal to girls they like so they tease and/or bully them. Not saying its right. But if his bullying really affected you, i guess you can get some closure by discussing that with him

Simslover92 · Answer

It really depends on if you want anything from him after all that time and after what he did. I mean if I were you, I wouldn't pursue anything. He bullied you in school. But everyone is different and if you feel like there could be something there, then go for it.

BasedBaeBecca · Answer

First off, I would want to know what he is texting you about. Sometimes people can change a lot after they leave school (I certainly did). If he seems like a different person, then it could be cool to catch up with him. But if he seems like the same old school bully, then I’d ignore him. Life is too short to spend time with bullies.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Some guy did that to me. He would make fun of me as his way of “flirting”.
He tried reconnecting with me, I gave him a piece of my mind then blocked him.

He tried apologizing, but I wasn’t having it.

Do what you think is best for you.

OfDeath · Answer

How bad was the bullying? In some cases and this especially applies to juveniles, bullying is a way of getting the attention of someone they are actually very fond of.

Perhaps he has always loved you and if it's quite alright, needs you to warm these lonely nights if you catch my fish.

Anemone978 · Answer

Well what is he texting you about? I would be very careful with him, I might not even text him back to be honest..
But guys who bully in elementary either really liked you are really hated you, its hard to know.. lol

inhua · Answer

be part of the statistics where bullies have more dating success than their victims

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

It would be kinda hot though right? Getting fucked by your bully "Oh yeah daddy, bully that pussy. I'm such a nerdy little slut"

Anonymous · Answer

absolutely not. he has a toxic mindset, those never leave. i would ask him a buttload of questions on why he was so rude and didn't know how to communicate his feelings clearly.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

You have same phone number as when you were 4 or 5? You had a phone back then? How would he have your number?

Jazzy54 · Answer

He has probably grown up. It happens. Some people who were idiots in school often mature when they become adults.

slatyb · Answer

How do you feel? You don't have any obligation to respond.

Reem12345reem · Answer

He most likely never changed so stay away from him bc he might be toxic

AngryCarl2 · Answer

I don't understand. Boys don't bully girls. Boys bully other boys. Girls bully girls. Boys might tease girls.

Raaj4you · Answer

If you hate him then just talk to him and tell that I am not interested. Block him on the the app.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

If you are traumatized by him, now is your chance to face it. He might have changed and would like to start over.

Christoff92 · Answer

He probably modified and want to apologize. So just see what he has to say.

kosxue · Answer

find out what his intentions are. that's the first thing i'd do

Anonymous · Answer

Ignore it. At least I would. You do not owe him a response. And why would you want to respond.

OddBeMe · Answer

If you think letting him flirt and then break his heart will ease your childhood pain, go for it.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn’t put any attention to people like this something similar happened to me a few years ago that didn’t go so well

boggboss · Answer

Depends what u want from the situation

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Block his ass!

MementoMori777 · Answer

whatever you wanna do i guess

sheikalana · Answer

Nothing. Ignore him.

Anonymous · Answer

Send him this in the message: 🖕🖕🖕

Anonymous · Answer

You dont waste a second talking to him, duh

BLP11520 · Answer

Is he trying to make amends?

justabuddy · Answer

Proceed with caution.

arwennn · Answer

people can change. but I wouldn't accept

WhitneySnow · Answer

Block him

Brady · Answer

ignore his texts

Anonymous · Answer

That's sick

BlkD4U · Answer

Ignore him

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