Boyfriend keeps making the same mistakes, do I dump him?

[Anonymous]

So we’ve had countless i would say hundreds of fights about this. He’s just so thoughtless and says idiotic things and it’s started so many fights I’m at my wits end. He doesn’t think before he speaks. He asks stupid questions.

An example, he came into the sitting room and saw I was watching tv and he says “oh you’re watching tv”. Stating the complete obvious! Like yes I am , why even say that. That started a fight. I’ve even had to take over cutting pizza because he never does it right. I have explained how these things piss me off so many times and he still does them.

[SnowedIn]

Dump him.

But don't for his sake, poor guy.

You are not the victim, you are the problem.

None of that matters. Pizza cutting for goodness sake.

"Doing it right" refers to not putting diesel in a gasoline car not to pizza.

Grow up.

Dump him -- you aren't ready to be in a relationship.

@mandyfire98
@_Maya_

[_Maya_]

100% agree with this. You are the problem asker. You are too touchy and worried about stupid stuff. Poor guy.

[Asker]

How am I the problem?

[_Maya_]

Just read what you f-ing wrote. You snap at the stupidest shit.

[Asker]

@_Maya_ if he knows something annoys me and him being or acting stupid is one of them shouldn’t he stop doing the things I find annoying? I’m not asking a lot

[_Maya_]

You seem to be the only one with that view which is not surprising. Little miss perfect that never does anything annoying... is the way you come off. Read the other opinions and I rest my case.

[jeffend888]

If you have other girls telling you you're the problem, you are unequivocally the problem.

[Asker]

@jeffend888 no one seems to understand my point of view. If someone you’re with knows what annoys you and they keep doing it, aren’t they the problem? It’s not like I haven’t told him. He knows how to stop but just hasn’t bothered so it almost seems like he’s doing it on purpose to piss me off.

[SnowedIn]

@Asker... no, actually. Just because I like something/want something doesn't mean that another person is obligated to do that. Even if it annoys you. Particularly things that are preferences (like the pizza cutting).

Here's the thing: you don't have to change your preferences. None of us are saying that. BUT you can't /shouldn't force anyone to change. Therefore, in this case, you two shouldn't be together.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You sound obnoxious.

I don't start fights over trivial shit like that with people I don't like, let alone with someone I love...

I don't think you are ready to have a relationship.

[Asker]

It’s not just that one fight I described in the question, it’s constant things like that he does or says. I’m not obnoxious, if it bothers me its not hard to stop doing them he seems to like pissing me off cause he keeps doing it

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yeah I gathered that there was more, but if they are all trivial things like what you described, then you're definitely obnoxious. No one wants someone dictating how they should do every little thing or what they can and can't say.

The problem isn't that he doesn't listen, its that you demand that he obeys you like a trained dog. That is not how relationships work.

[Asker]

no one seems to understand my point of view. If someone you’re with knows what annoys you and they keep doing it, aren’t they the problem? It’s not like I haven’t told him. He knows how to stop but just hasn’t bothered so it almost seems like he’s doing it on purpose to piss me off. I’m not asking him to be like a trained dog. I’m asking him not to annoy me doing things he knows annoys me!

[TheSpaceGnome]

The reason your point of view is ignored is because it's hypocritical.

If we look at this from his point of view. You're being an annoying nag over trivial things, and that bothers him. You know he doesn't like it, and wants to be himself, yet you do it anyway, as if on purpose just to piss him off.

See the problem yet?

People have to be likeminded to be compatible. You two obviously aren't, and you are both annoying eachother as a result.

And instead of being logical and simply ending it, you are being controlling, and thats whats obnoxious.

No one likes a control freak, and to make matters worse, the things that bother you are inconsequential (nothing bad will happen if pizza is cut differently or he mentions what you're doing, for example, so whining about those things is dumb), so it's going to be pretty much impossible for anyone to meet your standards because you complain about things that simply do not matter.

I have a long list of requirements for dating, must be an atheist, must like and be good at video games and making art, must like anime, etc etc. but these things are meant to be constructive, to ensure compatibility and love, not feed some sort of ocd.

[mandyfire98]

So him asking one simple question set you off? Him nit cutting a pizza to your specific liking made you really mad?

Do you think you have controlling tendencies at all?

Do you have an anger issue?

[Asker]

No I’m controlling or have anger issues. He’s the only one that pisses me off to this extent. It’s not just one question it’s the fact he always says stupid things like this it has built up. And I’ve spoke to him and asked him to stop so many times

[mandyfire98]

It seems like everything sets you off. Like everything he says or does. I'd say end the relationship. You're not a fit.

[Asker]

It’s not everything. When he doesn’t say stupid stuff we’re fine. All he has to do is think before he speaks and don’t annoy me

[mandyfire98]

So why are you together? If he pusses you off constantly? Do you just like staying together so you can bitch and moan?

End the relationship

[SnowedIn]

Sage wisdom.

[jeffend888]

Yeah, there's something wrong with you. You're the problem.

[Asker]

How am I the problem? People saying that in the answers but no one can back it up

[jeffend888]

Because you are extraordinarily petty and immature if you are getting wound up about pizza cutting and him just simply trying to start a conversation with you. And the fact that you don't or can't see that as a problem further proves my point.

God help the next guy who dates you.

[Asker]

He is quite a bad cook and can’t cut pizza or takes too long so I do it. And that was the worst conversation starter in the world. I explained to him if he wants to start a conversation don’t say something retarted, if he is gonna say something stupid then don’t bother at all. He doesn’t seem to get it.

[jeffend888]

You have to be trolling. Nobody is this self-unaware.

[Asker]

I am self aware. I know what annoys me and I’ve communicated and explained this to him. That’s me being very direct and giving him the chance to change before we break up. We’ve been together 3.5 years and he still does this every week to the point he starts fights every week. And I’m sick of fighting

[jeffend888]

I'll say it again. God help the next guy who dates you.

[Dkc123]

Stupid reasons. Clearly you're finding reasons to break it off..

Just say you don't have feelings for him anymore

[Asker]

I love him that’s the thing. He does say stupid things more than the average person and if he knows it annoys me wouldn’t he stop? It’s not just what I put in the question, this happens all the time and we fight every week because of it

[Dkc123]

It doesn't make sense.. these things are so stupid to fight on it on a regular basis.. send like you have controlling issues..
Doses the wet bathroom/toilet surface bothers you?

[Asker]

No I don’t get mad over normal stuff. It’s him saying stupid things that anyone would find stupid or annoying

[Dkc123]

So what he's a stupid guy. And your said you love that fellow..
If you really love him his stupidity should not affect you.. and over this you want to break up! That's not love.

Just break up the fling between you two is over..

[Asker]

It’s not a fling. We’ve been together 3.5 years and live together. It’s not easy to just break up like that. But he can’t keep annoying me doing stupid stuff

[Dkc123]

That long and u still haven't accepted him as he is 🤷‍♂️

What u want me to say.. he's doing this on purpose so he could destroy this relationship.

[Asker]

Well it seems like he is doing it on purpose. Even though he protests he’s not, he has to be if I’ve told him the same things over and over not to do and he does

[Dkc123]

Do that poor guy a favour and just break up 😑

[Anonymous]

Yes, get rid of him, its obvious their is no compatibility between you and him.