My boyfriend always gives me what he thinks I want and not what I would ask him directly (simple as to talk). And he would call me ungrateful, Am I?

Question

Alli39 · Accepted Answer

It's unfortunately complicated. On one hand, if he's ignoring explicit requests in favor of doing whatever he wants then he's really not respecting you very well. It's possible he just doesn't know how to do it well, but that doesn't change the fact that he's ignoring/failing to trust you. That's honestly a red flag and if you haven't talked to him about this, you probably should.

On the other hand, he is trying to be mindful of you from the sound of it. You don't have to accept what he does as a replacement for the things you're actually asking for, but ideally you would be at least appreciative of his effort, even if his actions aren't ideal. Kind of "it's the thought that counts" mentality. Just don't let this go to far.

But generally speaking, if you've told him one thing and he does another without there being any reason he couldn't or shouldn't do what you asked, then that's a problem with him and you don't have to feel bad.

KarinMcDonald · Accepted Answer

He sounds controlling to me. He's suggesting that "this" is what you should want. I don't care what you really want because I don't think that you should have it or need it. Do what I say.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

let me give you a little story. I made the woman i love of almost 6 years childhood dreams come true not once but twice. first was when i helped with advice and helped her get a major interview with a football news anchor i knew which in turn allowed her sing the national anthem at the superbowl. the second time was recently when I got her a dream collab with her childhood singer she looked up to and still does as an adult. in order for me to get the woman i love that gig i had to practically beg the singer she liked and her team (when she was on tiktok live and instagram live) to either let my girl on her talk show or to do a collab with her. Neither time did the woman i love thank me or show the slightest bit appreciation. 6 years i known her for and twice got her gigs that she wanted to do since she was a child and neither time did she ever once thank me for either

slatyb · Accepted Answer

Sounds like a match made in hell. He does what he wants and expects you to like it. This is just abusive. End this and and meet someone capable of giving love.

WhitneySnow · Answer

You’re not ungrateful but you need to explain to him that he needs to ask you what you want and not assume he knows best.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Have you ever explained that his guesses at what pleases you are wrong?

DerekC321 · Answer

No, you're fine. He should listen to you more.

My boyfriend always gives me what he thinks I want and not what I would ask him directly (simple as to talk). And he would call me ungrateful, Am I?

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Is my boyfriend selfish or am too demanding of him?

My boyfriend always gives me what he thinks I want and not what I would ask him directly (simple as to talk). And he would call me ungrateful, Am I?

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Is my boyfriend selfish or am too demanding of him?

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