Is he into me? Am I just assuming?

[Anonymous]

I have a co-worker. He’s new and we did the deed. We’re doing it once a week. When we’re having sex, he’ll hold my hands but he doesn’t kiss me. He so gentle, caring and he always satisfy me first before him. It’s kinda confusing because he is always caressing my hand or hair when we’re having sex. He asked me to run some errands with him and we spent our day off together. He messages me everyday saying have a good day, or asking how was my day. He’s trying to make me jealous my telling me some stories he did but I’m just silent and he never gets any reaction from me. He also wants me to come over at his place to sleep. Just sleep! Is he into me?

[Alli39]

I've been in a kind of similar situation. Did friends with benefits with a guy with some of the stuff you were talking about (hand holding, sleeping - literally - together, dude even got me a toothbrush at his place) who I was kind of emotionally close to, but in my case he was rebounding and I think some of the "emotional" stuff we did was just tied in the sexual relationship for him, even if he said it wasn't. I'm not sure he knew how to separate out the kind of pseudo-romantic elements from just the sex.

But I'd say in your case if this isn't a rebound hook-up and you aren't concerned about a lack of boundaries on his part, then there's a good chance he wants more than just sex with you. Assuming you're also into him I say go ahead and flirt or try to talk to him about it and see what he says. If you're not, it might be a good time to start setting boundaries/being clear about your own stance on y'alls relationship so that, if he's catching feelings he doesn't continue down that path not realizing you don't reciprocate.

Either way, communicate!

[Asker]

Thanks! Appreciate it.

I’m so confused because he’s giving me signals. And also, when we were at the meeting yesterday I saw him staring at me for so many times.

I’m still building my confidence to communicate with him. I’m hiding it from him. He told me last night that we can talk and be honest of how we feel. But he’ll say, I’m not ready for a relationship yet because I need time for myself.

[Alli39]

Ahhhh. Yeah, part of the reason my guy and I were very much not catching feelings was because neither of us actually wanted to start anything together.

Take your time, but try not to psych yourself out. Personally I journal a lot when I have trouble talking about something. It might help to sort out your thoughts/feelings on paper/the computer before you try and speak to him. At least that way you can walk in knowing what you want to say, even if he isn't on the same page.

[Asker]

Thank you! 😊

Journaling helps a lot, I did that before. Thanks for the idea. 😊I guess he’s like this to me because he’s my first.

[Anonymous]

Really?

You can't figure this out by yourself?

[Asker]

I can’t because when we’re at work he’s like not showing anything.

[strateguy632]

he is into you.

[Asker]

I’m kinda shy to confirm it with him. But this morning he was sorry for not responding to me because he fell asleep while sending a response to me. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Yes he like u
And liked sex with u

[Asker]

But he always mentioned about boundaries and seeing other women. Which Idc

[Opinion Owner]

So do he try to make it sexual all the time with u?

[Asker]

Not really.

[In_Trance]

He's not

[Asker]

Why not? I mean, what made you say that?

[In_Trance]

You're posting online about it... as opposed to being with him right now.
Doesn't seem like 2 people that are into each other to me