Why do men decide they want you once you stop caring about them?

[Anonymous]

I was madly in love with a guy who was lukewarm about me and made excuses not to kiss or sleep with me or pursue a romantic relationship, that he wanted to but had sensory issues. I respected that and moved on over time. Now I’m no longer interested several years later and he won’t leave me alone. I’m genuinely bewildered. Is it because we’re being ourselves once we stop caring, not trying so hard or being so clingy, or are they desperate?

[Anonymous]

It could be an attention thing. Maybe he really wasn’t into you, he just liked the attention. Once you stopped he didn’t like it. It could also be that he realized that you were a much better option than whoever he was seeing at the time.

[Asker]

He had excuses not to be with me, first fear of intimacy and being a virgin. I showered him with attention and love. The next excuse was with mutual friends, where he said I’m a gold digger and he didn’t believe i wasn’t or that I’d do anything nice or good just for the sake of it. He was handsome and had an excellent body, whereas I was pretty but chubby. Moon faced. Then he started showing interest when I supported a mutual friend through a tough time where he was sick in hospital and no one else showed up, including the guy. I told him his issues aren’t my problem and I won’t be settled for, even though I loved him and to go away. He refused. I ignored him. He’s been trying so hard to make me his girlfriend and trying to show me he’s changed that I had to close Facebook.

[Asker]

He’s got snobbish attitudes, whereas I’m down to earth.

[Opinion Owner]

Sound alike he a POS.

[Asker]

He’s got issues I think.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe

[ProbablyClueless]

Immature, clueless people are gon' be immature and clueless people.

[DerekC321]

They don't realize what they had, until it's gone.