How can I make a man be strong for me?

[Anonymous]

I have a deep sympathy for weaknesses. I find them beautiful, moving, they melt me and make me want to protect and hold the person till the end of my breath. This is iny nature, probably also because of having a mother who always needed to compensate for my father's weaknesses when it came to taking care of us. So I learned to love men who have always been weaker than me.

I need to break this pattern. But the thing is that I already love a man, actually for 4 years, whose shoulder I really need some moments but he crushes down instantly so I understand eternally. And love him even like this. But he expects me to be strong in the areas where I am really weak, and need to be allowed to be one. What can I do to feel more weak with him? How should I work on that? I'm tired, and burned out, so I need to work on this and fix this with him first before I will have to take brutal actions. I think there is a way and I can reinvent my attitudes and the relationship with him by making him understand as well.

[Anonymous]

More than likely you can’t. You as a female cannot instill that in him. That’s something that should have been instilled in him at a younger age. You trying to teach him how to be strong, how to be a man, is like me trying to teach a female how to be a woman. He may understand what you’re saying if you were to talk to him, but it isn’t in his nature. He may attempt to do it but that will only last so long then he will go back to how he is.

[Anonymous]

You have to be specific about what you're talking about. Because as it stands right now I don't even know if what you're asking is even reasonable. A man should be able to handle anything from a woman like a rock. That doesn't mean he always SHOULD handle everything from her. The fact that you tell me you had a weak father makes me question your self respect.

[Billlewis]

Have a constructive discussion with him about this, and see what he thinks.

[DextroShade]

You can't, he has to man up and do that on his own.

[BigDog1989]

So you're saying it's not ok for men to show weakness?

[Anonymous]

Maybe go to couples therapy?

[In_Trance]

be someone he wants to be strong for