Why do men perceive the worst in women and generalize?

[Anonymous]

I have noticed that it's very common for Indian men to justify cheating saying that woman are probably doing the same. Which is just not true. Do you think men and woman are given different concessions to cheating?

Also when a one woman makes a mistake, then all 'females' are gold diggers/hoes but when a man makes a mistake, it's because of his 'manness' and "not all men'.

[DaveJord]

So, I will speak to everything you said based upon my personal experience. I have no experience with Indian men, so I am not speaking to or about Indian men. I am just speaking about my personal experiences.

So, with social media, you can post question like this and get tons of responses that will validate you or not. But I have dated 17 women, in the last three years. After all my accumulated experiences with women, there just things that have kept reoccurring.

So how much is that is because of me, or because of women in general. How much is it because I am 47, and all the woman I have dated in the past three years have basically broken down into three categories.

1. They are victims of abuse or trauma, from previous marriages, relationships and divorces.

2. They are single working mothers with children

3. They never been married and do not have children and do not want children.

So, at 47 years old, all available women out there dating at my age fall into one of these types of categories... like 90% of them do. Thre are always outliers and exceptions to every rule.

So, these three categories have all be pretty consistent... and of course I am the other factor in all these relationships that have been consistent throughout. So, things, like time, availability, vibe, sex, level of attraction are all different types of variables that that play into things. Because it really starts to seem that all the good woman at my age are married, and or otherwise spoken for.

So, is everything I just said up to now a generalization? YES, 100% me making generalizations. I would say I am making assumptions, but I have all this life experience that I cannot just turn my back on and ignore.

Why can I not ignore it, because their specific behaviors and patterns a lot of these women have displayed, I have tried hard, like very hard to ignore these things and try to make it work. But ignoring it does not work. Eventually you have to talk about it and then it gets really messy.

So yes, I do make some generalizations about women... but in the same breath I will make this generalization about myself. Whatever issue I have with women, all comes back to me. Because I am the only consistent factor in ever instant. I would like to say I am not jaded or ruined by women in general. I honestly do not think I am, but I cannot deny the fact that women have done a lot of fucked up shit to me and I honestly do not believe I deserved it. But none the less here I am, a man that is divorced, struggling to find a woman, and these types of women are all I seem to have to choose from.

[Anonymous]

So we're going to just pretend that women don't do the same thing? 😆😆😆

I think what you need to realize is the disparity in dating compared to men and women. Women KNOW they can get a date with most men so they never really worry about whether they can get a date. This allows them to be be as picky as they want. It is said Women are generally only attracted to 10% of men. Men do not have this luxury Women do. Men have to cast a wider net it is said men are attracted to 50 maybe 60% of women. Naturally not all of these women are going to be gems, which guys learn through the process of dating.

In short guys have to get burned by the woman to learn she's toxic. And because men get burned more often than women naturally they're going to get a more negative opinion over time (especially if the guy doesn't learn from his mistakes).

[Jazzy54]

What does race/ethnicity have to do with it? If anything, that’s been your experience. Anyway, some (not all) men do they because they’ve been hurt in the past.

[HelpfulWoman]

Ah, there's your problem.
Indian men are just full on creeps more often then not. Just extra dodgy incels with no boundaries.

[Kaamraj]

Indian man here, so most men in India and Indian men in the west or men in general anywhere do not have a pleasant experience with women when it comes to dating. In today's social media and dating app world the entire power has shifted to women who are interested in only the top 10% of men (verified by swiping patterns). The average man is unattractive to the average woman. It's simply the life experience of most Indian men.

Now coming to cheating, men dont cheat, they exercise options and it's well accepted in India. If I work and study to become a 5% man, it'd be foolish to only experience or commit to one woman. You've worked hard, you have made it now you get to enjoy the perks of success.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Kaamraj. Actually women are pursuing the top 4%. Women might swipe on top 10% but they will only actively chase the top 4%.

[DarkLegacy]

It is funny because that is what women do to men. Assuming that are rapists and perverts and cheaters who are only out of one thing. As for doing something bad because the other gender are doing it, women are always doing that to get their own back on men for things they did in the past.

[Nikki1989]

Men are clueless about women, scroll down for evidence.

[BigDog1989]

Why do girls complain when a guy is horny, but, when a girl is horny, she gets mad he won't fuck her? ↗

People will complain about the dumbest things

[inhua]

men don't perceive the worst in women

when a woman engages in bad behavior, society comes to her protection and defends her bad behavior because it's "misogynistic" to call out her bad behavior apparently

[Apple1996]

I've noticed that too. It's super annoying. Men just not wanting to take accountability for when they are bad so they claim to be in the not all men category of everything. They also just like to blame women for their own problems

[KrakenAttackin]

Because women have all of the power in dating when they are young, tend to be very shallow and promiscuous, and hypergamous.

It is quite appropriate for men not to trust younger, modern women.

[Noether]

Women cheat less than men statistically, so all of this talk about modern women and hypergamy is overblown. All hypergamy means is that women tend to end up with men whose status is greater than their own in some way, not that they require or only want someone of the highest status or are always attracted to the guy with the highest status (in fact, being an underdog is often more attractive and endearing than being the best, as long as you’re still relatively good at what you do, because there’s an evolutionary drive for women to be attracted to men who are dominant and aggressive enough to likely be healthy and be able to protect his partner and children, but not so aggressive that he’s a danger to his family, since that would defeat the whole purpose. That’s why gentleness and a degree of vulnerability come across as romantic and attractive to women), it’s a relative thing based in the same drive that makes her want someone taller, stronger and ideally ~3-4 years older than she is, because he’s more dominant that way and most women like to be dominated, and it’s not a modern phenomenon. The trend of women marrying someone of a higher status than their own has existed throughout history and is rooted in biology.

[DarkLegacy]

Take no notice of her, she keeps on banging that drum. Women cheat more then men.

[DarkLegacy]

For womens shitty behaviour she will just say it is to do with biology.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Noether You lost me after "women cheat less statistically". Women are master cheaters, much better than men. Also women have far more opportunities to cheat than almost any man.

[Noether]

@KrakenAtrackin
You’re begging the question when you say that ‘women are master cheaters’. If women cheat less statistically (and they do), then they’re not actually master cheaters, and everyone knows that women have more opportunities on Tinder as well, and at the same time men are much more likely than women to use Tinder (the app has a male to female ratio of 3 to 1). Just because they have more opportunities/potential to find someone willing to participate doesn’t mean that they’re more likely to go down that route at the end of the day, like with Tinder use. There are more factors involved, like sexual differences in libido, conscientiousness, fear of social reprisal and other things.

[Noether]

@DarkLegacy
Men use the same excuse to excuse the shitty behavior of f**kboys and men who cheat on the women they’re with.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Noether Fuck boys make up about 4% of tbe population and they can fuck at will. About 70% of women can fuck at will. You do the math.

[Noether]

@KrakenAttack
You completely made that 4% figure up, but anyway, even though women have better odds of finding a guy who wants to sleep with them, that just goes to show how horny men are and that they’ll say yes to pretty much anyone. It’s only easy for women and they only get to be so selective because men make it easy and that gives them a much larger pool to choose from.

You even see this phenomenon on dating apps. Men outnumber women on Tinder for instance by 3 to 1, since fewer women are interested in hookup apps like that, which increases the success rate for the women that do use the app and makes the chances of men matching with a woman much necessarily lower, which just goes to show that just because women can fuck at will doesn’t mean that they actually do.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Noether The 4% number came from collective research from Tinder, Match, and a couple other dating sites. It's a good number, it's just shocking.

[Noether]

@Noether
42% of Tinder users aren’t even single, and most of these people in relationships using the app are men. So whatever research you used must be using a very narrow definition for the term ‘fuckboy’.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Noether No, it has to do with how attractive men are deemed to be vs the number of swipes by females they get. The top 4% of men get swiped on by the top 70% of women.

[Noether]

@KrakenAttackin
It is a fact that there are 3 times as many men as women on Tinder, and it’s not 4% of men that get most of the likes on Tinder, it’s around 20% (Tinder follows the 80-20 rule). Do the math: If there are 3 men to every 1 woman, and each woman chooses 1 man, then even if all the women are choosing different men only 1/3 men are going to get attention from women, who have to choose between them all. But that would still mean around 33% of men should’ve getting likes, not just 20%, but then you have to remember that 80% of men on Tinder are only competing for the bottom 22% of women. Factoring that in, the top 20% of men are competing for 78% of the women, giving them many options like the women have, and the other 80% of the men lower their chances from around 1/3 to 1/4 by not even trying with the vast majority of women, it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Only a small percentage of the difference, the part that isn’t a mathematical certainty based on the user ratio and male swiping patterns result just from some women liking the same guys.

[Noether]

@KrackenAttack
And there are fewer female users on Tinder because men, as a result of having a higher libido than women on average are more likely to be interested in casual sex than women are, and Tinder is notorious for being a hookup app. The other dating apps like Hinge, Bumble etc. have a more even gender ratio than Tinder, and whaddya know, the guys that use those apps have a higher success rate than male Tinder users. There’s still a slightly skewed gender ratio in terms of users, but it’s under 2:1 and this part of the difference is explained by safety factors and online harassment, which make many women wary about online dating in general, and the final factor is that women are statistically more likely to not be looking for any kind of relationship or dating whether casual or serious than men are– 27% of women are celibate compared to 15% of men, and the men are more likely to want to be looking to date or have a relationship than the women in this demographic.

[Anonymous]

Because men feel extremely insecure than women, it's because there are no laws exist for women, which might create a imaginary confidence to all women, while comes to the matter, the reported case against the women will be lower & those cases will eventually hides. So therefore women needs to be more loyal to be trust. Because we do feel insecure

But at the end it's actually not right to judge anybody , But however the word "laws" playing a crutial role here.

[ProbablyClueless]

A lot of men have life experience with women who behave like that.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You're just as bad as the very few men doing that if you're stereotyping all men or all men of a race or class etc.

[jshm2]

Those are just arseholes projecting onto others, to justify their own poor behaviour.

[Ironic_Method]

... isn't that what you're doing with your post, though? Making a generalization about Indian men perceiving the worst in them?

[LiamJHayden]

Those who do so find it easier to generalize than to treat each person as a unique individual. The reasons can vary.

[Sasha0426]

Your question was about men in general but you changed it to Indian men. I’m confused 😐

[Asker]

Oh I meant both parts for Indian men, I don't know how men from other cultures generally behave so I don't want to assume.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why women perceive the worst in men in generalize.

The way you asked this question is actually ironic.

[justabuddy]

I find that with most things that involve gender these days, it goes both ways. We just tend to see the problems that effect our gender and ignore those of the other gender.

[AmeerX]

I am not Indian but I have met a lot more gold diggers in disguise then you can imagine

[Anonymous]

You mean men from India? They are the worst kind I've ever seen ngl

[Rush_hour]

What you just did was a generalization as well.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I've seen women do that a lot more than men. But well generalization is a pretty common issue in general.

[ᴅᴀʀᴋ_ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ_]

It's really not nice to generalize between people.

[Anonymous]

I think men cheating is worse. As a man, you're literally worthless if you're untrustworthy.

[Opinion Owner]

But sure, perhaps women get generalized more over things like cheating/sleeping around... but men are blamed for literally every single thing that is wrong in the world.

[Opinion Owner]

I'd rather be lumped in with cheaters than be associated with murderers, rapist, pedos...

[DarkLegacy]

The worst people that we can have is white knights, no wonder you are too embarrassed to go public.

[Opinion Owner]

Relax buddy lol I never said it was ok for women to cheat.

[Opinion Owner]

And I get called a white knight/simp just as much as I get called a misogynist on here. You guys are boring lol the words have lost all meaning these days

[Anonymous]

At least American women are known for Cheating that's why we have a lot of Single mothers.

[Aphrodite801]

Indian men are saying that? 😂😂

[jimmy2]

Wow you need clear communication

[MikeInHawaii]

Experience

[SolitarySolace]

Ask a lesbian