If a man's home is dirty/messy, is this a red flag?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy on Hinge on August 7th; during this time, we were in different cities as I was 3 hours away due to work.
We chatted for a few days, and he hinted at wanting my phone number, so I gave it to him on August 12th, and we then transitioned to texting.
I told him I would be in town for Labour Day weekend and that we could see one another, so he said no problem and a few days before Labour Day, he texted me, checking in to see if I would still be in town. I said yes, so we texted for a few days prior. He said he was unsure of what activity we could do together, so I suggested we brainstorm ideas, and on the day off, we could decide.
So we eventually agreed on an arcade night;* He picked me up* and paid for most of the evening except for one drink I bought and shared his food with me. And we had a good night, got to know each other a bit and had fun. He then asked me if I wanted to come to his place and watch a documentary, so I agreed as I could see our chemistry; he also mentioned that he had a cat and that his house was a mess on our drive there.

So, with that being said, I kept an open mind, packed up my things and headed to his home. I was a bit shocked; his one-bedroom apartment was quite old, and it was DIRTY, and I mean cat feces on the ground, the kitchen was dirty and run down ( It was quite an old apartment building) , and his couch was filled with cat hair. The blanket was dirty, the centre table was messy, his bathroom was old and had a bunch of brown stains on the sink,/his bedroom had clothes on the ground, and he was vaping nicotine in the apartment. With summer weather and no fan or air conditioning, it was hard to breathe as the airflow was restricted.
He kept asking me if I was comfortable, and I was a bit worried I wouldn't be, but honestly, I felt out of place, lol, but I didn't want him feeling bad.

Updates

+1 y

I'm not the cleanest individual in the world, but I was shocked as, on hinge, he presented himself as quite a clean and well-kept man.

Anyhow, is this a red flag? He is 31, and I'm 26

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh bro, that sounds nasty AF. Like I get wanting to smash and all, but damn, that place was straight up filthy. I wouldn't wanna get any diseases breathing that air or touching anything in there.

I feel you wanting to be polite though, sucks turning a dude down like that. But you gotta value yourself more, ya feel? No pussy is worth getting sick over. Next time maybe just suggest going back to your spot or finding somewhere else to chill that ain't a health hazard.

Was it a red flag he ain't cleaning up though? For sure, that shows he don't care much about his living space. I'd be worried what else he's neglecting if he thinks that's normal. Like you wanna smash, but you also want a dude who's got his shit together, you know?

At least now you know to steer clear of that place! Maybe feel him out more before going over next time. But no judgment if you ain't trying for round two, I wouldn't blame you! Your health comes first.

[Skull_Anon]

Having a messy house doesn't necessarily mean he is a fan of Soviet Union to have a red flag💀

[Anonymous]

I live with hoarders and I understand how uncomfortable it is. He may have a mental health condition or is just lazy. Some men are just awful at cleaning up.

But you gotta say to him about the house and to clean. Do u like him?

[Opinion Owner]

I did a quick Google search with this "first date and guy has dirty apartment" and lots of helpful stuff came up from Reddit, quora etc.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the mho! Any progress yet?

[exitseven]

It might be, especially if there are other things like body odor and bad teeth.