Is it a red flag I went on a date he taken me to his house an hour & a half away. And slept with me whilst I was very drunk?

[Anonymous]

[MrOracle]

in my opinion, it's a red flag that you agreed to go that far away on a date (presumably a first date/early date?), and that you didn't set boundaries and expectations, and that you decided to drink. All of those things vastly increased your risks of something happening that you didn't want (even if you consented in the moment).

If you go to a man's house who clearly has romantic/sexual interest in you, and you don't have your own way to leave (i. e., you drove your own car, etc.), you are essentially telling him that you're comfortable with whatever is happening. It's not like he invited you to a BBQ at his house with a bunch of other people there - he brought you there on a date, alone, and presumably at night. Clearly this meant you would be spending the night. And then you drank on top of that. What exactly did you think was going to happen?

The only person who can protect you from putting yourself at huge risk (assuming you don't want to have casual sex) is YOU, and you do that by:

• setting boundaries and expectations from the beginning
• not going further from home than you are comfortable walking, so that you can walk home if need be
• not drinking or using drugs or anything else that would impair your judgement

If you fail to do those things (and others) to protect your own safety, then unwanted things are bound to happen, and should be expected to happen.

I certainly don't want anything unwanted to happen to you, but there's literally nothing I can do to prevent it - I don't even know you, much less the guys you date, or the places you go, etc. The only person who does is YOU, which is why YOU must protect yourself, EVEN if it means not doing certain "fun things" that you really want to do. Your choices are always going to affect your safety, and so you need to make decisions that are likely to protect your safety.

[Shanigal313]

Sounds like you didn’t consent to it so yes. This is a red flag.

[MrOracle]

She may well have consented. We don't know either way.

[Flatmanlewis]

This is not a red flag. This is rape.

[exitseven]

No, it sounds like a match made in heaven.

[jahaims]

Yeah, that is the only way he gets laid

[strawberrybaby3]

Huge red flag