Why does he flirt with me in private but bullies and ridicules me in front of other people?

Question

So I (F20) used to take this Spanish course and the professor (26M) seems to love to humiliate me and make the other course students laugh at my expense and is pretty impatient when i make a mistake or when I’m a bit slow when learning a new language, but he wouldn’t DARE do this to anyone else that was with me in the course, but he also seems to love making heavy eye contact with me and flirts when we’re alone…
I didn’t wanna take any of his bullshit no more so I dropped the course but I’m just so confused, so guys what was the reason for him treating me this way?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because he is a selfish person that only cares about himself , you are best to leave his ass period and don’t look back , unless you want to continue being with someone that doesn’t value you the same way you value them When someone can disrespect you and belittle you and make fun of you they don’t value you , they value themselves , they just like the convenience of you, but they truly don’t love you , When someone loves you they want to bring happiness into your life and they wantto see you smile , they don’t bring misery into your life , when someone constantly brings misery into you life and puts you down and makes fun of you they are a piece of shit person that only cares about themselves , you are best to walk away and realize they do not deserve you period. Love only grows when 2 people choose each other and support each other over and prioritizes each other over everyone else , you both want to see each other smile not the other way around , By him hurting your feelings shows his true character of who he really is , A Selfish person that only cares about himself , Do yourself a favor and dump his ass and find someone that wants to see you smile that wants to bring positiveness and happiness into your life , don’t waste your time with someone that can easily put you down and make fun of you. Because the truth is if you choose to walk away from him and dump his ass , The joke is on him for being a piece of shit person , Do not give yourself to someone like that , you will only be hurting yourself for tolerating that kind of behavior.

Meropatrick · Accepted Answer

Because he feels weak about u and inferior. He has to establish his manliness and not appear like a simp in public. He is fighting his own demons and insecuriy at ur expense. Please stay away from men like that. U owe him nothing. Not most importantly ur happiness. He would stop at nothing to destroy u mentally. I remember i was watching a programm about primates and how males bully some females to increase his chances of mating with the female after causing her a lot of stress and issues. And becoming stronger at her expense. I think humans act like primates a lot

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

Hmmm seems like you were his punching bag. Some teachers/instructors are like that they enjoy humiliating the underdog who will never talk back in front of everyone because it makes them feel superior. Disregard the fact that he flirts with you he only does it because he knows he can do it not because he's interested in you he feels like he's in a dominant position and can get away with anything. Quitting the course was a good decision but you should've also complained about him to the higher management. I'm pretty sure he'll keep doing the same to other students until someone speaks up.

DubiousIntentions · Accepted Answer

He flirts with you because he wants sex, and ridicules you because he doesn't regard you highly in any sense of the word. When you are highly regarded someone will treat you with dignity and respect. I vote in this guy as part of the Losers Club. If I was you I would cancel my membership with this guy. Losers can be contagious. You hang with them too long and you will be seen as one too, just by association.

loveslongnails · Answer

It's his way of showing that he's "superior", or thinks he's superior, by belittling someone else to bolster himself. That's very typical behavior of anyone who's insecure. I agree with YC's assessment - if he was flirting with you privately, he was likely attracted to you, which is probably somewhat taboo for any number of reasons. By insulting you in public, he thought to dispel any sense about his real urges, in case others were picking up on it.

(PS> ignore BB's ignorant "analysis" of what you presented. It's not only hurtful but it's beyond assumptive and without any basis.)

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not a mind reader, but it's possible that the professor's behavior towards you was unprofessional and inappropriate. It's important to remember that a teacher's role is to create a positive and respectful learning environment for all students. If you felt singled out or uncomfortable, it was a valid reason to drop the course. It's hard to determine the exact reasons for his behavior, but his actions were not acceptable. If you believe it was harassment, consider discussing the situation with a school authority or reporting it to the appropriate channels. Your well-being and comfort in the learning environment should be a top priority.

YesterdaysChild · Answer

Maybe he liked you but didn't want the other students to think he did so he plays an act to throw off anyone else's suspicions. But... since you dropped the course you no longer need to worry nights about it. Just move on and look ahead, not back as we don't need to dwell on the past - water under the bridge and all that.

molonski2 · Answer

He just wants to bang you , and its how he shows his superiority over you , its to enforce the status , he is the professor , he wants to put you in your place.

" I didn't wish to take any of his bullshit any more " - So I dropped out. Its you who paid the price , not so clever.

Elliegirl · Answer

He’s being stupid and immature. If he flirts with you in private, he possibly likes you. It sounds like maybe was trying too hard to give the impression he’s not into you in front of the other students because he doesn’t want them to know he has interest in you and get into trouble. You’re not in his class anymore, so you don’t have to interact with him.

Constatine · Answer

As a professor he is not allowed to bully you in front of the class...

But as a professor he has no right to flirt with you.. that is not allowed... { in a lot of countries a student teacher love relation is against the law. }

Flirting with you is sexual intimidation / harassment .. you can report that. I think. you should report it. ..

Lycirian · Answer

This guy obviously wants you but doesn't want that other know about that. So there is one or more reasons.

The most reason for guys is that he thinks you are beautiful or a nice girl but is worried about that his friends or the people who knows him will think that what he sees in you that he likes you. He is worried about how people sees him after he is with you.

ManOnFire · Answer

Sounds like your classic case of him being one of those guys who 'teases you because he likes you.' He uses bullying/poking at you actually as a cover for the fact that he's into you, so that you and no one else can detect that until he starts flirting like you said he did. I do not think he ever disliked you at all from the beginning, I think he used that behavior as a disguise for the fact that he likes you.

BlackBeauty90 · Answer

You sound desperate for attention 🙄 - what when you elsewhere you were only alone maybe once to drop paperwork.

And you probably made it painfully obvious that you had the hots for him.

Reason why he's behaving as was is to make it obvious he's not interested

Anonymous · Answer

I used to know a guy who did this to me too.

Basically he has a crush on you. He doesn’t want everyone to know he does. He wants to keep his status and fame with his peers. But he also has a crush on you.

It’s a very childish and immature guy. Hasn’t grown much in the last 5 years. I’d keep my distance.

TalkWithoutSpeaking · Answer

Because he's an asshole. He somehow thinks that the image other people have of you and him being together is threatening. Which is absolutely mean.

Anonymous · Answer

first of all msquack its proper English to say you dont want to any of his bullshit anymore. Not no more.

Now sit up straight little missy and pay attention.
You will dump the professor today. and call me sir.
i shall be taking over your education.
Now bend over and make yourself useful.
i dont want to hear a peep from you until im done

lightbulb27 · Answer

don't know, I'd report him in case others experienced. If you feel singled out and abused, notify higher authority.

strateguy632 · Answer

he is pretending to be rough, like the old film grease.

Adaeva · Answer

It is not possible to know the reason since there are too many possible reasons.

RingOfFire · Answer

Sounds like he's got some kind of fetish about humiliating you in public. Gives him some kind of thrill.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

The bullying and ridiculing is a flirt. It’s just not landing well, and he’s getting carried away because, other people.

DJB72 · Answer

Because he's your professor and probably doesn't have tenure at 26 so he can still be fired for inappropriate behaviour with a student.

WhitneySnow · Answer

He’s a sexist asshole. You should report him.

In_Trance · Answer

If he bullies and ridicules you in public why are you flirting with him in private?

Anonymous · Answer

no that's actually crossing the asshole line. that's not flirting... report him to the school.

collie22 · Answer

He's lacking confidence and needs approval from his friends. Find someone else and ignore this guy.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Haha. That guy is a tool. He’d pull your hair and run, but he’s too scared to do even that.

AVirgoMan · Answer

Sanırım sizi insanların önünde küçük düşürmeye çalışıyor. Bire bir konuşurken size seks için iyi davranır.

Paul09 · Answer

He sounds like a child. Hasn't matured! And he's a teacher! Oh boy. I'd report his ass. Or warn him.

Strong_Warrior · Answer

Maybe you are bullshitting and being sensitive against him. You shouldn't be a butthurt feminist who hate men. That makes you pathetic!!

Smartman5 · Answer

It's best to stay away from him. It's hard to understand some people's behavior. I want to tell you about a girl. Can you help me?

DollarBillcheapman · Answer

He might be in love with you, or at the very least insanely attracted to you. And is scared shitless others will find out. I need more details on the flirting to diagnose.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because he's an asshole. by the way, you should report him.

Joker_ · Answer

classic manipulation tactic lol, @Worst is very experienced in this area

OddBeMe · Answer

He’s an ass who can’t impress his friends any other way than at your expense. Dump him.

boobliker · Answer

HE'S in love and has no idea how to show it! shame

Masterodd · Answer

He's stupid... and wants to look big and bad in front of people.

Tomisworthless · Answer

probably to throw off the sexual scent between you two in public

Anonymous · Answer

It’s what bullies do, he probably likes the attention from others and sees that you’re submissive

BLP11520 · Answer

He is a jerk for sure. Why he is acting like that? beats me

Blacksnake285 · Answer

Because you’re a beta male who’s easy to manipulate

Ameer99 · Answer

He likes you but doesn't want to show it to everyone

spartan55 · Answer

When were you alone with him?

DermalPunch · Answer

He is an 🍑 ⭕️.

Avicenna · Answer

He's a bad person

Jpisme · Answer

Because he's an insecure turd

Fireguy17 · Answer

he is an idiot, time to move on.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Because he's an unprofessional imbecile.

Radiate143 · Answer

He's got issues. Cancel your subscription.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

He full of shit. Call him out in that shit

MysticDevice · Answer

Pretty sure that's an Avril Lavigne song.

Anonymous · Answer

He only wants to use you for sex.

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

Because he is young, stupid and immature

Guido · Answer

Showing off for his friends.

SUMAIREBRAHIM · Answer

His expression of love or love language maybe

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Your professor want you

azgınteke · Answer

a loser who thinks he's something

Anonymous · Answer

Did you ask him already?

Anonymous · Answer

had the exact same siotuation, ditch him

Anonymous · Answer

You're 20 asking us this? Grow up

Anonymous · Answer

Can I do thta too? I love humiliation

Danny_dan92 · Answer

He’s a child

krin_m · Answer

He is a jerk.

Anonymous · Answer

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Why does he flirt with me in private but bullies and ridicules me in front of other people?

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