Guy keeps telling me how nice he is and describes himself as a "nice guy." Red flag?

[Anonymous]

Is it a red flag if someone keeps telling you how nice they are? Do nice people usually have to proclaim they're nice? This guy I'm talking to keeps describing himself as a "nice guy" in our text conversations. He tells me he may not be the best looking (even though he is very good looking) but he's "got a heart of gold". He tells me he's the kindest person, and that he's got such a good heart even when it's not relevant to the conversation.

Is this a bit weird or odd, or am I overthinking it?

[VKN724]

Stop looking at a man for what they say and instead look at what they do.

In discussions with women when I was younger I would call myself a "nice guy" simply because it was my way of saying I wasn't interested in stupid beefing with people. I solved things with words and not fists. It was my way of expressing I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover. I grew up from that and learned to use my fists when I absolutely had to out of self-defense, but I don't regret calling myself a nice guy growing up.

I see the controversy online of nice guys ending up revealing themselves to be not-so-nice guys and typically just hiding in the shadows waiting for their chance to pounce on a sexual opportunity without going out with her on a mutually agreed upon romantic date first. That I understand. Again, my conviction is to look at his actions. Even just cut to the chase and tell him what you want him to do as an ultimatum to force his hand. If you want a date, tell him it's either the date or you walk away, you aren't some cheap hook-up. Doesn't mean it has to be a date that costs money, but it has to be a date that involves you two actually spending time together non-sexually. Girls, you have to realize guys in this day and age a lot of the time don't want to go on dates because it puts pressure on them to get into a monogamous relationship. Pressure him into it, it's good for him to develop into a marriage-material man whether or not you end up with him in the end.

Ending philosophy question: What would you think if a girl called herself "a nice girl"? Would you be suspicious of her? Could she actually be a nice girl and just be acknowledging it?

[Asker]

Most of the time, if a girl said "I'm a nice girl" I'd raise an eyebrow and wonder if she's trying to prove something she doesn't quite believe. Most nice people don't need to say that they're nice. A lion doesn't need to tell you he's a lion, you can see it for yourself that he's a lion.

[slatyb]

Feels like a red flag to me. Nice people just are nice. Smart people just are smart. They don't have to tell you about it. Anyway it sounds like you aren't interested in dating him, so don't.

[_Maya_]

That is definitely weird to do. Saying it subtly or hinting at it is one thing. Being arrogant is another. To me that comes off as cocky. I don't know that I could date someone like that. It is great when you have confidence but there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. I think he has definitely crossed that line building himself up constantly. Especially when it isn't relevant to the conversation like he just can't wait to say what a person he is. Gross lol.

[_Maya_]

Thank you for most helpful opinion!

[LazerBean]

A huge red flag. Good men do not go around bragging about how good and kind and nice they are.

[aceleon]

No he is not a nice guy he is an average Joe with a bitterness towards the whole nice guy finishes last thing he tries to kinda guilt trip you he acts the marthyr, the victim

[Arik_jade]

First of all, those person who upfront call them as Nice then definitely they are not 'Nice'.
Original nice person does not requires to show off himself / herself... He/She will automatically be recognized by surrounding peoples.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes that’s odd. If he’s actually genuine and nice he’s not going to boast about it

[BarryLiverstone]

How long have you known him?

[Asker]

A month!

[BarryLiverstone]

So you have met him and seen him interact with other people. How does he treat them?

[Asker]

He seems okay, I can't really get an idea of what he's like after a few interactions

[BarryLiverstone]

You wouldn’t. That’s why it takes time to see character

[Alex-Snow]

Way weird... he is either insecure or someone to watch out for who just wants sex.

[Anonymous]

About as much of a red flag as a woman who keeps telling you how "sweet" she is.

[glennos89]

Actions speak louder the words🤷‍♂️

[sage2021]

Kind of like Biden when he was running for President. He used to look in the camera's and say "Come on, you know me, I'm Joe".

[glennos89]

Pervert Joe Biden. That guys makes me puke 🤮