Trans man and toxic masculinity?

[Anonymous]

So my partner is a trans man, and recently I've noticed a change in his behavior and the way he talks to other people. He's started being more aggressive and even rude sometimes, like he ignores if someone tries to say or ask something while he's talking, interrupts people himself, and has stopped moving out of the way when someone needs to walk by, among other things... I've brought it up to him privately, but with just me he's still very sweet and he's even said he feels bad when he does it, but that since people started to see him as a man he feels like being "too sensitive" around them could make him look feminine. Like he has to act extra "manly" and assertive/confident or else he'll be seen as a woman again.

I understand that fear, but I feel like he's just doing the same thing cis men do when they act like jerks bc they don't wanna seem weak/ feminine. I wouldn't tolerate it from another man. I don't think I should from him either, even if his fear may be more justified than some other men's. I know convincing him to drop the facade (especially in public) will be difficult. Kinda looking for any advice for that anyway though. Right now he's still aware, and it's just an act. I really want to pull him out of it before it becomes more serious and starts actually changing how he thinks. Has anyone helped a male partner/relative/friend deconstruct or move out of toxic masculinity before? Any tips or phrases to say (or NOT say) to best get through to them? (To be clear I don't care that he's masculine in a lot of ways. I don't think all men are jerks. I care that he's acting like a jerk because it's seen as manly.)

[ChicoFromThe305]

Sounds psychological, is say the best way to maybe try fixing this is reminding him of the existence of gentlemen, just cause someone is gentle at times doesn't make someone feminine, tell this person not to forget about mannerisms and respect.

[Asker]

Thank you that's a good idea ❤

[Staximus]

That's how insecure men and women who are trying to act like a man behave. Trying to prove how tough they are to everybody, but even more to themselves.

[Asker]

Yes. I want to make him see he doesn't have to prove himself to anybody.

[Staximus]

If you're talking about a woman on male hormones, the male hormones are part of that problem

[Asker]

Nah, his hormones are normal. Unless you're talking about something besides testosterone. I assume that's what u meant by "male hormones" even tho everybody has it lol

[pervertedjester]

This sounds like a per-pubescent boy dealing with testosterone for the first time. Only it's lethal now as it's an adult "male." Testosterone is a lonely hostile creepy reality that takes years to master, if at all. So go enlist in the military or enjoy incarceration to help adjust to the new found reality of it all. And realize the world does not care in the slightest about the plight of a man.

[LazerBean]

The combined mental illness and hormone imbalance is likely to do that

[Asker]

His hormones are normal, and his mental shit makes him MORE polite than he would be otherwise. The problem is like I said: toxic masculinity. If you don't know how or don't care to help with that then keep ur opinion to urself. Ur being rude.