Is my friend with benefits saying he doesn't want to see me again?

Question

I've been friends with benefits with a guy for a year he's busy working a lot now. So, we don't get to see each other as much as we used to. Sometimes we go months without seeing each other. I saw him yesterday and we talked. He told me not to limit myself and that it was okay for me to date. Because I deserve to be happy and if dating other people makes me happy then it's ok (I told him I was dating someone). He said I deserve to be happy. And to be involved with someone who can give me more of their time etc. I get what he's saying but I told him that it wasn't an issue for me. And that I like spending time with him because I feel safe. I almost broke down telling him how I've always been treated. And not being comfortable with other people. I told him I was verbally abused. And he said he was both verbally and physically.

I asked him if he was saying that he didn't want to see me again and he said no that's not what he was saying.

I like dating but I don't want to rush into being in a relationship. I'm also worried about my career, and I think that's more important than being in a relationship.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You don't deserve to be dumped by him. He deserves to be dumped by you. Dump him and don't dare trash men like him and don't settle for friends with benefits when you are actually looking for a relationship. I know it's hard for you to move on from him once you developed some strong feelings for him and the guys like him never understand that. They way he replied you says a lot about him and not about you. He's basically treating you like a slut, whether you like it or not. Why do you want to stay with such a trash fellow? You deserve someone who makes you feel secured. He's a trash guy who doesn't know the value of feelings, relationships, security, safety. Don't be with him or he will make your life worse. He is a worst guy. Stay away from that worst guy and get yourself a good guy

_Maya_ · Accepted Answer

No he isn't saying that and even told you he wasn't suggesting that. I think what is going on is he is getting more and more busy and has less and less time for you and feels bad. He wants to let you know that he doesn't care if because of the lack of time he can give you that you can go out and date. I think he is feeling guilty that he used to be able to give you more attention and just can't anymore. It is really the selfless thing to do on his end. I don't take it to mean he won't see you again.

taurus10j · Accepted Answer

If he's a genuine guy then take it at face value. He wants you to do whatever you want to do because that's what he's going to do. Men don't usually close the door on a possibility of sex in the future. He's fine hooking up. He's neutral and if you're going to go along with that then cool but if not that's cool too. Either way.

On the other hand if he's not a genuine guy then he's done what was fun for him with you including sex whenever and thats all it was and couldn't careless so he said do whatever. If you follow whatever he wants that's up to you and what your enjoyment is with the situation.

Jbear27 · Accepted Answer

I have a friend that has casual sex with certain women. He only uses them for sex but the transaction is mutual. They sometimes tell him about other guys asking them on dates and it’s probably in an attempt to get him jealous because they are starting to develop feeling and want more so he tells them exactly that that guy told you.
He isn’t saying he doesn’t want to see you anymore, it’s guilt free, no strings attached sex, but he is re-establishing the arrangement and telling you to move on if you want more.

RavVid · Answer

The primary question is whether this friends with benefits association has any legs in it.

You partially have the answer in seeing your career as of higher importance or a relationship as being antithetic to your career.

As you have been seeing other people it may be difficult to transition to an exclusive relationship so you have to judge that. friends with benefits is low investment and presumably no jealousy/hurt feelings.

I suspect because you are worried he doesn't want to see you again it means you are twixt and between. I don't how your dating relationship is founded but if you have an undeclared friends with benefits than you possibly need to sort that out too.

Anonymous · Answer

It sounds like your friend with benefits is expressing concern for your happiness and well-being. He's acknowledging that he may not be able to provide the time and emotional support you need due to his busy schedule. However, his statement that he doesn't want to see you again doesn't seem to be his intent, as he explicitly said that's not what he was saying.

It's important to have an open and honest conversation with him about your feelings and what you both want from this arrangement. If you value the connection you have and feel safe with him, you can continue while also exploring your own dating options. Just make sure you're both on the same page regarding expectations and boundaries. And it's entirely valid to prioritize your career and take your time in deciding if a relationship is right for you.

Naruse · Answer

Sounds like he's being selfless more than anything. It seems from how you describe it like he really values you as a person and wants you to be happy even if it was to the detriment of his own happiness. The fact that instead of making what is probably a legitimate excuse he thought of how it would effect you does say a lot about him. I would have just made the excuse personally and accepted no responsibility.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

"I like dating but I don't want to rush into being in a relationship. I'm also worried about my career, and I think that's more important than being in a relationship."

See that's what's why a lot of people get hurt and are lonely.. Too much wanting to have their cake and to eat it too.. This guy was an friends with benefits and yet you want him to be more, but don't wanna get into more.. Sounds like confused behavior.

boggboss · Answer

Why do u need to ask us yet he already answered your question

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I didn't interpret his comments as saying he didn't want to see you again, but he's definitely aware that he can't give you anything more than what he's giving you.

Anonymous · Answer

That's the thing about friends with benefits, you don't have any rules, you start and stop when you want to, no stings, no attachments. Everyone here talks about them as if they're regular boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.

serious_miss419 · Answer

Sounds like ur both testing each others waters without seeming desperate or curious about the other.  Talk it out, screw it out, or walk out.

Christina1227 · Answer

I don't necessarily think that he doesn't want to be friends with benefits anymore I just think that now this is my personal opinion I think that he is starting to get attached and he is trying to back away a little bit because he's worried that you wouldn't want him and that if he gets too attached he'll end up getting hurt that is my personal opinion

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You would rather be in a relationship with the friends with benefits, right?

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

Take the man at his word. He was pretty straight about what he said.

WhitneySnow · Answer

It sounds like you like him better than the guy you are dating

fuddly · Answer

It's tough for you because you're making yourself available to him, you're happy with him, but he's rejecting you.

You're looking for emotional support but he's not the person to give you that. Look to counseling. Reach out to support services. Take a step back from this guy.

I agree... Focus on your work.

RHK36 · Answer

You're getting attached to your friends with benefits and we as men don't believe that you understand how that works which is why he reiterated the situation. He's reminding you to not linger because it's not a real relationship.

DreamLife7 · Answer

You've posted this several times. Get a life and a clue. You're not good enough (not pretty enough, not smart enough, not fit enough, not wife material) for him to want anything more from you. No he does not like you he found his dream girl.

MaxUsefull · Answer

You should get married.. and trust that you future husband will be a good guy

Staximus · Answer

It sounds like you have commitment issues and are denial of the fact you actually like this guy for more than just friends with benefits.

In_Trance · Answer

you need to ask him directly

Anonymous · Answer

How does someone acquire a friends with benefits?

jimmy2 · Answer

You sound like a beautiful person

boobliker · Answer

ask him to find out not us here

SUMAIREBRAHIM · Answer

Yes ur in sex zones..

riverrat3 · Answer

His loss

Is my friend with benefits saying he doesn't want to see me again?

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