What do I need a guy’s protection for?

[Anonymous]

I was taught to never rely on a guy’s help if I was in a dangerous situation. And I’m glad I was taught that because guys showed they don’t care about my well being. They wouldn’t even lift a finger to help. They would for other women but never for me.
Honestly, that’s why I rather be single because I know my partner would never care.
I’m sorry for how this sounds but that has been my experience. Even from the ones I trusted.

Updates

+1 y

Honestly, men would leave me for dead.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that sounds like you've had some really rough experiences. No one should have to feel unsafe or like they can't count on the people around them for help.

It really sucks that dudes you trusted let you down like that. I can understand why that would make it hard to open up to people going forward. Protecting yourself is super important.

If I was in your shoes, I'd probably feel the same way about not relying on guys. We all mess up sometimes, but failing to look out for someone's safety is just not okay. You deserve to be with people who have your back no matter what.

All I can say is, try not to lose hope completely. There are good dudes out there too who would never stand by if they saw someone was in danger. Maybe just take things slow with new people and trust your gut on who seems trustworthy. And make sure to look out for yourself first till you find people you can really count on. I hope things start looking up for you - no one should have to go through that alone.

[JacobJordan]

seems like you haven't had great guys around you. as for what do you need a guys protection for. theoretically nothing as odds of being attacked are slim. that being said should you find yourself in such a situation where you are being attacked by a man. the physical reality is you either need a man, a gun, a taser or pepper spray. I recently taught my wife some self defense moves because she needed to understand that in a real world setting it is liable to hurt but if you can power through that you increase your chances drastically.

wife response: For me physical protection my husband doesn't really like people anyways and we have had to deal with some less than savory individuals one of which was my drunk uncle who attempted to assault me. then tried murdering my husband with a shovel a few months ago. My husband threw him off our patio one handed and told my uncle if he set foot within 20 feet of us again he would beat him to death with his bare hands. he maintains distance. though since that he has gotten overly drunk once and gotten in my husband face screaming obscenities at me calling me a whore and a bitch among other things. He was thrown through a shed wall and then dragged across the property. after that my husband insisted on teaching me how to break various grabs and what body parts to target given I am very little. he did that with real world force and we have been practicing every morning. it does hurt to break those holds but it is definitely possible even though he is far larger and stronger than I am.

[Anonymous]

Often the same just can only rely on my brother and my hubby!

Also learned self defense so I can take care of myself!

Unlike most women who just whine about not needing protection and just get hurt going into bad areas or bad online dates in dumb ways.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if you think you don't then you don't

I don't feel like I live in a war zone to seek a man's protection either but my hubby does more than just protection

I am not gonna lie, you just had some bad men in your life

[dynamicyandere]

Help should be appreciated, but not expected.

Even if you have a guy with you, what if your attacker is armed with a gun?

Also, if your S/O has other things to attend to, he may not be by your side 24/7. (e. g. What if he’s a work or away visiting relatives?) Attacks may happen at the most inconvenient times.

In that case, it would be best to have a way to defend yourself — like a concealed-carry sidearm.


(Guns also even out the playing field since firearms are effective in the hands of any trained individual, regardless of gender.)


It’s neither good to refuse help or to expect help.


It’s best to default to self-reliance — but to also appreciate it when people do offer help.

[Asker]

I refuse help because I can figure stuff out on my own. Plus, I always get told, “You can do it. Why do need my help?,” and it makes me feel bad for even asking.
As for my SO, I know he’s going to be the same way.

[Asker]

*”Why do you need my help?”

[dynamicyandere]

As an independent person myself, I hardly ever ask for help. I also like being self-sufficient. But, when people offer me help, on their own, I don’t always decline.

There’s dependence (needing to rely on someone else), independence (not needing to rely on anyone), and interdependence (not needing to rely on anyone — but choosing to collaborate with others to reach a goal faster).

There are times when it serves us best to be interdependent. But, of course, it’s good be be able to default to independence during most of our lives.

[HighValue]

As bad as women have treated men in society from what I have seen during my lifetime, there is no good reason for most men to help or care about most women. By a large majority, most women never do anything to help men and often do things that harm men in society so why would men be motivated to help women?

As far as protection goes, a woman can work out a lot, learn martial arts, then get beaten down by an average man. Reality hurts. Many men that sit around often can still beat the women's mma champion.

[sage2021]

@HighValue
If you are just going to sit back and not help another human being that needs your help, then you are a High Value person and I think you should change your username to something like "Worthless". 👎

[Asker]

@HighValue It’s been like that my whole life. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if I wound up dead one day. That’s what men want for me anyway. So maybe you’ll get your wish that I’ll no longer be part of this world.

[sage2021]

@Sasha0426
Please don't pay any attention to these idiot males! They wouldn't even save or help their own grandmother because they are girly boys! They are the one's that need help cause they can't help anyone because they never learned how and they know they'll get their butt's kicked! Creepy guys!

[HighValue]

@sage2021 You are the worthless and pathetic one around here. No reason to help women like you.

[sage2021]

@HighValue
The truth hurts. Are you going to go lick your wounds now you worthless girly boy 😂🤣

[HighValue]

@sage2021 All pathetic people like you do is talk crap and spread lies.
I'm 6' 1/2" tall, 265 with 22" arms from lifting weights. I've lifted almost as much weight as Brock Lesnar from WWE. I know martial arts and ride bikes on 25 mile trips. Plus I have a degree in education and a teaching credential. Good pay, benefits, lots of vacation time, among other benefits.
You are just a common pathetic woman that can't accomplish much in life without men's help and hate men when they don't cater to you and your pathetic existence.

[SotiCoto]

You don't. Obviously. But it is curious that you felt the need to ask. As though you're feeling pressured to believe that you ought to need it.

Still, if you're having trouble getting anyone to invest themselves in helping you, there are things you need to consider. For instance, are you communicating correctly that you need help, or simply expecting guys to know when you need it? Do you give anyone good reason to want to help you, or do you just believe you're owed help for existing?

[Asker]

I only ask if I’m in desperate need and I know I can’t do it alone.

[SotiCoto]

Hard times. And are you only asking here because you couldn't get any help from your friends? I mean... we're strangers. We can't do anything but offer advice, most of which is probably unhelpful because we don't know you personally.

[Asker]

Whether it be friends or family, I don’t ask for help when I know I’ll be rejected.
I’ve learnt that lesson a long time ago.

[SotiCoto]

Offering trades works better.
I mean rather than "could you help me with X", maybe try "If you help me with X, I'll do Y for you".

[sage2021]

@SotiCoto
You're creepy and should reconsider your value yourself, because you seem pretty useless to me.

[NathanDavis]

different experiences for different people...

I've put myself in danger at least... four different times (twice in great danger) to protect some girls before (once a child) both known to me and strangers as well

risked injuries, death, jail and worse... I don't even want to think of what I could possibly do if they went after a partner of mine, definitely don't want to find out... (KnockingOnWoodATrillionTimes)

[virtue2332]

Well guys that don't care aren't worth caring about because they don't matter. Women are plenty capable of protecting themselves if they understand that men are physically stronger and unless you are highly trained and strong you have to be ready to use other means to stack the odds in your favor.

[normalice]

It is odd how some men want men in general to get credit for protecting women but fail to consider the fact that what women usually need protection from is other men.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You don't. Just get yourself a gun and protect yourself.

You are the 1st line of your defense. There's no super hero coming flying through the sky to rescue you.

[Asker]

Yeah, I learnt that a long time ago. I’m on my own.

[Asker]

*learned

[sage2021]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy
Wow, your answer was a surprise to me. I thought you were more of the humanitarian type of person, but I guess not. Don't forget to give the women in your family a gun and tell them to go protect themselves.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@sage2021: I will protect women in my family if I was there.

The reality is your family members aren't going to be near you most of the time especially out in public and most people in public don't like to get involved in other people's matters, so best to look out for yourself like a said because Hollywood TV shows heros that come to the resuce only stay in the fictional world of Hollywood shows and movies.

[Asker]

You’re right! I mean, a couple years back, or thereabouts, there was a woman who was being raped by a man on a subway and people just watched and recorded the incident. I don’t know if y’all remember that.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I remember. It was in Philadelphia back in 2022 I think.

[Asker]

And literally no one did a damn thing about it.

[Unit1]

I trust a loaded firearm more than I trust the police to come to the rescue to fight off the home invaders and rapists.

[dynamicyandere]

100%

While the police take half an hour to arrive, you’re on your own. Armed with what? If you’re unarmed, it’s going to be pretty tough holding your attackers off for half an hour (or longer) while your attackers are actively trying to harm you and your family.

That’s why I’ll always be pro gun-ownership — at least until law enforcement is reliable enough to prevent and stop crime in a timely manner.

[Unit1]

@dynamicyandere Too bad we don't have this right in Germany. We are cucked for self defense.

[dynamicyandere]

@Unit1 Oof. That sucks. I suppose there’s the melee option at least, maybe? How’s the crime rate though? Are things generally pretty under control or are there a lot of people who just end up as sitting ducks because of high enough crime but not enough self-defense options?

[Unit1]

@dynamicyandere That's an interesting point. We don't have nearly as many shootings in Germany as in the USA. I know of no one, who even has a gun permit.
Crime rates are under control where I live. Break ins are happening seldom and our home doors are fairly sturdy. They can withstand at least over 10 sledgehammer hits from any muscled mutant. German quality things are not a joke.
When in doubt, one can always have a Katana or something like that at home. Won't help much for girls tho swinging a big blade, let alone bringing one outdoors. Even pepper spray is banned here or carrying any blades outdoors. Like I said. We are totally cucked here. If a violent conflict happens, then your body is all you have. Police ain't gonna be fast enough to arrive on the scene.

[dynamicyandere]

@Unit1 Okay, got it. I suppose the government there is playing statistics. Statistically, a break-in or armed assault is very unlikely. But… In those rare instances where it does happen, you’re pretty much cucked. 😅

[Unit1]

@dynamicyandere Yes, You got it.

[RedInnocent68]

You don’t. But it’s nice to have friends who care and are willing to help from time-to-time. 🤗🤗

[MissBoogus]

Sorry you’ve had bad experiences. I love a guys protection.

[Anonymous]

So guys are just like security officers according to women?

[Asker]

I don’t know how to answer this. What would you want me to say?

[Opinion Owner]

It's ok.. It's ok

[jestergent]

Good question to ask, nails the thread.

[Anonymous]

Men will die to protect their women. Random women, not as likely, unless they are one of those slaves type of guy.

[Sunnybeach123]

Guys need women's protection a lot.

[Iron_Man]

Attackers, moral support everything else

[sage2021]

@Iron Man
I'm glad to know there are still some guys are willing to help people - guys need help as well. Not just women.
Not all woman have treated men bad like the other user was inferring. It's about humanity - helping one another get through life; because honestly, life can be really hard sometimes. We do need help. Even those that think they don't. They say that now while they are young and strong, but one day when they are old, they will need help from other people.
🏆Yeah Iron Man!

[Iron_Man]

@sage2021 you’re welcome

[TiaNour]

Get yourself some pepper spray lol