What would you do or would you feel comfortable?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has videos on his phone of him having sex with other women... mind you these were taken before we got together.

I asked him why he still has them and he said because he does 😐

I asked him if he'd delete them and he said no.. my thing is if you're trying to start a life with me etc why you still got those videos.

Now I'm wondering if he does go back and look at them from time to time.

[Anonymous]

Of course he still looks at them. Bet you if you had one of you w an ex he wouldn’t approve. You need to have some self respect. Stand your ground. He’s keeping them because I sense some doubt, like ok if I delete them then we breakup now or later down the road, I lost those videos. Don’t beg him, you asked, he said no. So now either walk or live w it. You’re always going to be insecure about those videos as long as he has them. Even if he said he deleted them, would you believe him?

[Asker]

yeah I believe he does... ofcourse he would not approve and I already told him how I felt about it so hmm. if he says that he deleted them I would not believe him unless he shows me that he did.

[Opinion Owner]

I think you’re better off finding someone else. Nowadays it’s easy to hide videos, pics, etc. So you’d just have to take his word for it that he did delete them.

[Sunnybeach123]

I would assume he still looks at them, or else he would agree to delete them.

[Sunnybeach123]

I would definitely not be comfortable!

[Asker]

Same here

[Asker]

I'm not comfortable with the whole thing

[Sunnybeach123]

It's a betrayal. It's like he's being totally unfaithful with you. I'm sorry. You could maybe let him know that if he doesn't delete those videos it's a deal breaker.

[Asker]

yes I'll let him know.

[Sunnybeach123]

🙂🤞

[NeedaMaxiPad]

because he still likes to watch them. be careful if you allow him to video you as well because he probably won’t delete your videos.

[Asker]

I already told him he's not allowed to take any videos of me.

[ethansf]

Not husband material. I'm a believer in monogamy, which includes sexual satisfaction from who you're with only.

[Asker]

Sad but True because if we were to get married why would you even have those videos and I'm wondering if those woman knows that he still has them... in my opinion he needs to grow up tbvh.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes he goes back to watch them

[Asker]

Smh I clearly expressed that I don't like that he has them.

[BarryLiverstone]

I’m sure there are things about you that he doesn’t like either. Have you shared how you feel when he’s got them? Like do you compare yourself to those girls in the vids?

[Asker]

all I did was ask why he still has them and he was like "they're just there in his google photos smh. no I don't because I haven't seen any of the videos and he won't show me he said i'll get upset.

[BarryLiverstone]

Right. And from his perspective he doesn’t see why he should get rid of them. You haven’t communicated a valid reason yet

[Asker]

Me telling him that I don't like that fact that he has those videos because it makes me uncomfortable is not a valid reason as to why he should delete the videos?

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s right. Because you said they make you feel uncomfortable. You didn’t open up and add details as to why they make you feel that way and how him keeping the vids prevents you from trusting him.

You could tell him if he speeds in the car when he’s driving that you feel uncomfortable and he will still speed. You can say if he goes out drinking with buddies at night you feel uncomfortable yet he will still go out.

You said you are his girlfriend, how long has the relationship been?

[kareka]

He will take video for u too

[Asker]

Yeah no that's not happening ever.

[kareka]

He won't delete it
I dont delete it too