My boyfriend has been so busy with school he can’t barely text me for the past days. Yet today he told me he went out with a friend. Why did he say?

[Anonymous]

That?

[SueShe]

How much time does "hi how are you doing?" take to text? On my 1995 Nokia 9510 cell phone (not smartphone), it would take me 2 minutes to type. On a more modern smartphone, perhaps 20 seconds, right? He cannot find the time to spend 20 seconds a day for you? Are you sure you want to keep this kind of boyfriend?

A person that pretends to be too busy with anything he/she does and cannot in find 20 seconds time in a day with 86,400 seconds is doing something totally wrong in life.

To add insult to injury, he will spend about 10,800 seconds of his precious time to be with someone that he is supposed to care a little less than with his girlfriend. To me, it simply indicates that you have a very small priority in his life.

You can draw the conclusion yourself...

[Asker]

He says hi and asks what I’m doing pretty much everyday

And I don't know why he bothered telling me he was with a friend because it’s rude to neglect me for days and then say ‘oh yeah I’m hanging with my friend now!’ It seems so tone deaf.

[SueShe]

Unfortunately, you just realized that you have less priority in his life than his friends. I feel sorry for you.

[Asker]

Well I’m just wondering why he told me that though. He didn’t have to. I asked him what he did today and he didn’t tell me what he DID he instead told me what he was doing that moment. Which was weird cause I never asked.
So it’s like he wanted me to know that.

[SueShe]

I believe that he found it easier to tell you in advance rather than you finding out afterwards.

[Asker]

I wouldn’t have found that out though unless he told me. I don’t know anyone he knows.

[SueShe]

he could have told you by mistake in another conversation.

[Asker]

True. If he doesn’t want me he can just say it, dragging this “relationship” on is so pointless.

[sage2021]

@SueShe
I guess that's the reason he stopped using a cellphone. So I could call, text, or email him. And we were living together at the time.
If he doesn't have a cellphone to call him on, that also meant I was not allowed to call, text, or email him either.
What an A-hole he was.😞

[SueShe]

@sage2021 yes, some people are really toxic and controlling.

[Nikki1989]

So you have his number but can't talk to him? Is this what the world has come to?

Try talking. You might like it.

[Asker]

Lol. You think that would actually give a different outcome? Maybe I’m warped but I don’t see a difference.

[bededazzle]

i hate to say it but that sounds like an excuse. might not be a disaster—maybe he just wants a little space, but there’s no such thing s as being too busy to chat for a few minutes.

[Asker]

I get it but why bother saying he went out with a friend? He literally texted me asking what I did all day. I responded. Then he told me he was out with a friend. Like ok? Why tell me that?

[bededazzle]

i would have kept that a secret if i didn’t want to see you anymore. but like i said maybe he just needs some space or I don't know. so yeah it’s good he’s honest. i’d say just give him space and do your own thing. if he senses distance from you, and he doesn’t want to lose you, then he’ll be in contact better

[Asker]

I’m still nice and reply when he sends his texts but that doesn’t mean he can just drop me like he has and then come back like I’m a doll on the shelf and expect me to be interested.

[bededazzle]

then distance yourself from him. if he doesn’t want to lose you, he will definitely act b if he doesn’t then you have a different answer

[Asker]

How do I distance?

[bededazzle]

well, at least don’t do any more than he is doing. don’t initiate texts

[bededazzle]

also just focus more on your own life

[Asker]

Okay. Thanks 👍👍👍🌹❤️ you actually gave me advice I can follow and that was helpful unlike most people

[bededazzle]

ideally you could just talk to each other about it, but that’s tough in this case. just let go of control of the situation and you’ll know what’s up soon enough

[Asker]

It would be hurtful if he just moved on and left me tbh because it’s like such a waste of energy that I gave this man a chance. So I’m just imagining that he comes back but he’s gonna have to work for my attention again cause I’m
Not gonna be treated like a doll on a shelf.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

You aren't important to him. Apparently he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about him.

[BarryLiverstone]

Because he went out with a friend

[Asker]

But reading the context above , why did he say that?

[BarryLiverstone]

He said it because he’s sharing what he did. He’s also not required to message you everyday if he’s busy in school

[Asker]

So you think he still loves me he just doesn’t wanna talk but he wants to go out with a friend? But his girlfriend doesn’t matter at all right now?

[BarryLiverstone]

No, don’t bring love into this question. You are just asking about messaging.

[Asker]

So he doesn’t love me? Why would I ask this question if I wasn’t worried about him loving me?

[BarryLiverstone]

You would ask this question because you are not getting the attention from your boyfriend that you have received in the past.

I haven’t answered if he loves you. I’m not him.

[BarryLiverstone]

Also had you been worried if your boyfriend is still in love with you, that would have been in your question.

[Asker]

So what’s your point? That you refuse to answer the questions and instead want to make up your own story and answer your own questions. What a joke.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok I’ll say my point. I believe that you feel badly that your boyfriend is purposefully ignoring you. So you went to the internet to complain and seek validation. You want others to tell you that he still loves you or tell you that he shouldn’t ignore you like he is doing. I don’t think you are seeking advice on how to have a better relationship with him.

If you are then you would have asked a different question.