Is my supervisor flirting with me?

Question

Hi all
I have a situation with my supervisor that I don't know how to deal with, and I was hoping you will be able to help me to clarify it. For the last 8 months he's been very friendly with me. He gives me compliments about my appearance and my work constantly. He touches me on daily basis, things like arm stroking or punching, he touched middle of my back few times, he even touched my leg just above my knee 3 times. He gave me a gift, something that he is doesn't need and he new I needed it. He smiles at me and he is giving me prolonged eye contact when we speak. I saw him checking me out few times. Our conversations are sometimes very personal and he confides in me from time to time. He asks questions about my favorite food and things like that. I do like him, but I am always very shy and careful to show my feelings towards man. I do not reciprocate, but I don't object as well. I gave him a compliment only once, but I can't do it again because I am not 100% sure that he really likes me. I wonder why he never asked me out? Is he just flirting for fun with me? Our company does not have relationship policy.

SueShe · Accepted Answer

Yes, this person is flirting with you and you should be extremely cautious.

The fact alone that he is tactile with you, meaning that he is touching you without your approval or that he gives you compliments that are not related to your work quality are indicative that he is indeed flirting.

Even though your company has no relationship policies, it is still obligated to avoid sexual harassment. Touching you inappropriately IS sexual harassment and you not reacting to it indicates that you consent to his behavior.

Be very careful because your inaction may be held against you should there be a conflict with him.

Do not believe one second that HR will be on your side. By agreeing to be harassed, you place yourself in a very delicate situation.

Your only option is to give him a verbal warning and if this does not help, you should tape or record his behavior on your smartphone. Ultimately, you should contact HR and ask them to intervene. However, I don't think that by contacting HR, you will be considered as the black sheep and will ultimately have to bear the consequences.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Woah, that sounds pretty sketchy. Your supervisor definitely seems into you if you ask me. Always complimenting you, giving gifts, touching you all the time? That ain't normal boss stuff. But yeah, him never actually asking you out is weird too. Maybe he's worried about getting in trouble since he's your boss. Or he just likes the attention and messing with you. Either way, I'd be real careful. Don't want to get in a situation that could cause problems. I'd try to set some clear boundaries, like telling him the touching makes you uncomfortable. And don't do anything alone with him, you know? Might be worth mentioning it to HR too, just so it's on their radar if things get out of hand. Trust your gut - if it feels off, get some space from this dude. Hope it all works out okay!