So one of my closest friends and his ex girlfriend broke up about 2 months ago and we’ve been a thing since. There had always been major sexual tension between me and him and we got super super close and then and we had drunkenly hooked up once when they were on a break, once they did break up (it was mutual but he said he wasn’t fully expecting it?) he leaned on me the night they broke up and then 2 times after that when he was upset about it and talked to me about it. We started to then hook up consistently after and didn’t hide it from our friends (we’re in the same friend group) and have been talking consistently ever since. We were completely inseparable before winter break but I decided that over winter break we weren’t going to be exclusive or hangout so he can have a chance to heal without having me right next to him. But that turned into texting every single day, having FaceTime dates where we talk for hours and even started watching a show together on facetime. We get along so well and he does everything for me and is so caring and sweet. Probably the best guy I’ve ever talked to and treats me better than anyone I’ve ever been with. but my roommate thinks that I’m his replacement girlfriend and that he doesn’t actually like me and is just throwing his feelings about his ex onto me. He says that he wants to see where things go once we’re back at school and that he has feelings for me and I totally have feelings for him and can see us dating but I don’t want to do that if I’m his replacement girlfriend. He does still mention his ex sometimes about random things like today he had to change his school password and it was still his girlfriend’s name before he changed it. Should I talk to him? And if I were to talk to him should I wait to see how it is once we’re back at school in 2 weeks and then talk to him or should I mention it next time we call? But I also don’t want to seem crazy! Help!!!
3 mo
Am I a replacement girlfriend or does he actually like me?
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Woah that's a lot to take in. Sounds like this guy might still have some leftover feelings for his ex if he's mentioning her and stuff. I can see why your roommate would think you're kind of a rebound. On the other hand, it does sound like he really likes hanging out with you too. Maybe give it some more time once you're back at school together to see how he acts. See if he's still bringing up his ex a lot or if he seems more into you. As for talking to him, I wouldn't do it over FaceTime or anything yet. Wait till you see him in person so it doesn't seem like your accusing him or something. Then you can just tell him what your wondering casually. Like "hey just want to make sure I'm not a rebound yknow?" And see what he says. If he gets all defensive that's not a good sign. But if he reassures you then maybe you don't have anything to worry about. Definitely don't bring it up again once you talk either that would seem annoying. Hope this helps, let me know how it goes!
You aren't dating, but you hook up. But you are worried about being 'the replacement girlfriend'? In who's opinion? Wtf does that even mean? Girl, you already sound crazy...
Men are your age are never serious about anything, let alone relationships.